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Mom vs Grandma

I know I should be over this, but how to you deal when your mother and your grandmother (her MIL) don't get along?

It frustrates me because my mom lays a guilt trip on me if I spend time at my grandmas.

We live 100 miles away and she's missing time with her grandson when we occasionally spend time with Grandma, because she won't come to grandma's house (four blocks away from her home). Instead she asks "why can't just here?" I spend more time at my parents than at Grandmas.

 

I'm sorry if this doesn't make much sense, but its been a long day. I'll clarify what I can :) 

[IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2czvlhx.jpg[/IMG]

Re: Mom vs Grandma

  • Tell your mother to grow up.  Her beef with her MIL is just that.  Hers.  You don't have to get involved. 
  • "I'm not getting involved in your argument." Repeat as necessary and walk away if she won't quit.

    Also, why does your mom know how much time you spend at Grandma's? Are you telling her?

    image
  • image mbcdefg:

    "I'm not getting involved in your argument." Repeat as necessary and walk away if she won't quit.

    Also, why does your mom know how much time you spend at Grandma's? Are you telling her?

    Points for getting through that. I was crazy tired when I wrote it. 

    My parents only live a few blocks away from my grandma, so if they drive by and see my car, or if another family member stops in, she finds out. This time I did call and tell her that T was at Grandmas, if she wanted to see him (she had been asking when we were coming up). I was going to visit a friend so Grandma was keeping him overnight.

    I thought that the feud was mostly Grandma's fault, but last night my dad drug her to Grandma's for supper and she was downright rude. Grandma would talk to her or ask her question and she'd ignore them or give one word answers. 

    My aunt (dad's SIL) just got out of the hospital after two weeks in the ICU. Grandma said "Uncle called and asked me to let you know that Aunt is home from the hospital." 

    My mom barely looked up and said "Yeah, I heard." Grandma asked a follow up question and Mom played with her phone and ignored her.

    [IMG]http://i45.tinypic.com/2czvlhx.jpg[/IMG]
  • image mbcdefg:

    "I'm not getting involved in your argument." Repeat as necessary and walk away if she won't quit.

    Ditto this.  Remember- she can only make you feel guilty if you LET her.  So, dont' let her.  This is her issue, not yours.  She gets plenty of time w/ your LO.

    I would even be tempted to say one time "I'm tired of this mom.  Whatever the issue is - it's between you and grandma. It has nothing to do w/ me.  My priority is T and she loves him and is a positive force in his life.  I'm not taking that away from him, and honestly, it upsets me that you would actually want that taken from him.  The more people who love and care about him (I'm assuming boy, sorry), the better for him.  I'm done with this.  The next time you try to guilt me over us spending time there, we'll be leaving."  - and then DO IT! 

    If her b1tching about you spending time w/ grandma means she loses time w/ T - she might shut up....

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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