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Need Happy Thoughts...MIL thing(long)

Where to start, Dh 8 yrs ago got an English Bulldog.  He lived in an 2nd story apt and was irresponsible so he gave the dog to his mother. Nemo has been there ever since.  Nemo's behavior has consistantly got more irratic as time has gone on.  He growls and snaps when he is being put to bed (it's in the garage with a heat/air and is very nice) A couple of yrs ago it escaltated and he bit DH's then stepfather.  He had to go to the ER and have stitches.  Vet's recommended putting him down but they didn't.  2 yrs ago MIL and her husband got a divorce so it's just her and Nemo. Who we all adore of course.  but she is has to have special routines so his behavior doesn't get out of control.  Nemo has severe arthiritis in his hips for the last several months she is taking them to get shots every week.  Wed. night Nemo attacked MIL.  She is terrified.  She called several vets and one of which recommended meds.  Instead of meds she is going with the other recommendations and having him put down.  This is devestating but I believe this is best...now we come to the issue.

DH is furious!  I mean truly angry about the whole thing.  He is made at his mom b/c he wants to try the medicine and feels she just doesn't want to pay for it (she has been complainging about the vet bills)  and that she could be doing something else.  I completely disagree with him so now he is mad at me.  And I REALLY mean MAD! DH and MIL have had issues in the past were she would not listen to what others had to say even if it was in her best interest and that is what DH thinks she is doing but in reality that is what HE is doing!  I have no idea how to talk to him or help him deal with this.  After 7.5 yrs i know this is how is deals with things when he is emotionally spent but its hard and I don't want it to do damage to us or him and him mother.  B/c he will push to far and say horrible things as a defense. 

Help?

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Re: Need Happy Thoughts...MIL thing(long)

  • I understand what your mom wants since the dog is attacking her!  If your hubby wants to prevent dog from being put down, then he should take him from her and take care of him.  But then, that would also put you in danger too.  I don't know what to tell you, but he's not going to be happy with what needs to happen with the dog regardless.  Hope it all works out! 
  • *Update* I just got the call that Nemo has been put to sleep.  No one will call my husband (not his mom, his sister and not me) He has pushed us so far away that we can't deal with him right now!
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  • If your DH really wants to keep the dog, then I think you guys might want to talk to a behaviorist.  I understand her point of view and it's not fair for her to keep letting this happen and then your DH step in and want her to keep the dog, you see what I mean. 

    Bully breeds can be very dominant breeds and they need guidance and they need a "pack letter" and I think that's part of what's missing.  I'm sure if you page Kristi (KKH) she'll know A LOT more about it.  Hopefully she'll come in on this and give some advice. 

  • "Pack leader" not letter, LOL. 
  • image guin82:
    *Update* I just got the call that Nemo has been put to sleep.  No one will call my husband (not his mom, his sister and not me) He has pushed us so far away that we can't deal with him right now!

    He'll be okay...  You should probably be the one to tell him.  He'll be mad if he finds out you knew and didn't tell  him.

  • image Leelee06:
    I understand what your mom wants since the dog is attacking her!  If your hubby wants to prevent dog from being put down, then he should take him from her and take care of him.  But then, that would also put you in danger too.  I don't know what to tell you, but he's not going to be happy with what needs to happen with the dog regardless.  Hope it all works out! 

    i was about to ditto this, and then i read your update.

    i'm sorry you have to deal with this. it's so sad to lose a pet, and i'm sure that your dh is probably dealing with some feelings of grief right now. i would say let him cool down some, and then try to talk to him heart to heart about it. ((hugs))

  • I agree with everyone else. Your DH is running high on emotions right now. He's probably even feeling guilty for giving the dog to his mother in the first place. I would give him time. I'm sure he will come around.
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