April 2010 Weddings
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Is it sad? (pregnancy related)

That I can't be happy for my SIL who is pregnant with her second child by a different man then her first child, doesn't have a decent job, didn't graduate from HS, and can't afford to pay for her cell phone?

 Huh?

::hangs head in shame::


~Melissa~
Shmel's Blog

Re: Is it sad? (pregnancy related)

  • No.

    My friends (okay, really friends of friends who we hang out with to be nice) who have a 1.5 year old announced recently that they are pregnant again. YAYY right? Wrong. Dad is unemployed and has been for quite sometime, mom is a teacher which is admirable but not exactly high-paying, and their house is almost in foreclosure. IMO "we want them to be close in age" just isn't enough sometimes. And yes, it was on purpose.

    Wow I just totally hijacked your post, sorry. But really, I wouldn't be happy for her either.

  • Eek, yeah sometimes adults do NOT make responsible decisions!  I hope it all works out for the best though, maybe the baby on the way will get him into gear to start doing something productive!
    ~Margaret (and Nick)~
    Post-Wedding Life Blog!
    A10 Siggy Challenge: Next Vacation Destination: San Francisco!
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  • Agreed. While a new life is always something to be celebrated, the circumstances under which parents choose to bring the little guys into the world aren't always the best, or the most thought out.

    Post hijack #2: My niece (H's niece, actually) is on this kick where all of her friends did/still do "everything together"...It started with them getting married before they could afford it, very young on only his military salary (she has been a student for the past 5 years it seems - both sets of parents forked over thousands for her wedding), because her besties were all getting married.

    Then it was kids. Despite having little money and none saved, they decided to get pregnant shortly after getting married (again, on purpose), and it was "so cute" how 4 or 5 of her friends were all pregnant and had babies together! (again, both parents practically supported the baby for her first few years).

    Next up? The house. Went out and bought a big 'ol newly constructed home that most long time married folks probably couldn't afford, because all of her friends were buying,  and "renting"while saving up just wasn't good enough (again, both parents ended up providing tons of financial support, including most of the downpayment). And now? You guessed it! She and her friends are all having second babies together, and she is already sending mass emails about what she is going to need...

    Of course H and I are happy that their family is growing, but it seems to cost her divorced mother and his parents every time they make a big decision. Long story short, I can see where you're coming from.

    April 24, 2010
    Second Anni-trip: Niagara Falls!
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  • Thanks for backing me up ladies!  It's frustrating to hear of people that shouldn't be pregnant yet get pregnant so easily.  And other people, like Lori, who want to get pregnant but can't!

    Oh I also forgot to mention that SIL and her daughter are living with her boyfriend and his son in the bf's mother's basement Confused

    ~Melissa~
    Shmel's Blog
  • Yeah I totally understand where you are coming from. There is definitely a difference between being "unprepared" and being in no way ready to support a child when you don't have the capability to be a responsible adult.

    People who are just in the unprepared column can at least grow and get ready as the pregnancy progresses, and will do the responsible thing.

     

    Don't hang your head in shame, you are too good for that.

    April 2010: Favorite Romantic Picture





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  • No.  I have one word to describe her, and all the others who purposely (or accidentally due to not taking caution) get pregnant when their times are tough...

    SELFISH!!!!!

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  • image dasmel30:

    Thanks for backing me up ladies!  It's frustrating to hear of people that shouldn't be pregnant yet get pregnant so easily.  And other people, like Lori, who want to get pregnant but can't!

    I'm so with you....100%

     

  • image dasmel30:

    Thanks for backing me up ladies!  It's frustrating to hear of people that shouldn't be pregnant yet get pregnant so easily.  And other people, like Lori, who want to get pregnant but can't!

    Oh I also forgot to mention that SIL and her daughter are living with her boyfriend and his son in the bf's mother's basement Confused

    Um wow that is selfish reasoning. I also thought of Lori and others that have a hard time getting pregnant as you said Mel. I work at a section 8 property full of girls who get pg and don't have means to support themselves, and many applicants waiting in the same situation.  

    Anniversary
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  • Ugh I know what you mean. We are at least financially stable enough to support the LO.. not as stable as we wanted to be but hey I guess things happen. However, I have a friend who I no longer ever really talk to who lives in section 8 housing, has 2 of her other children taken away by DCF due to a VERY nasty house and she also dumped her children's father to be with another man who she is now having a baby with in may. Indifferent Talk about a trainwreck.
    [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/eoq6r.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/ivxyx0.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i41.tinypic.com/ip9r39.jpg[/IMG]

    [url]http://paulaspastries.wordpress.com/[/url]
  • Mel, you have absolutely no reason to be ashamed!  She is stupid/selfish for doing something like this.  It just frustrates me more when I hear things like that.
    Anniversary

  • As one of those people who are trying to get pregnant and watching everyone around me pop out babies left and right, trust me, you should not feel bad about not being over the moon about this. I cannot tell you some of the horrible things I have said in my head about people that get pregnant on a whim around here with NOTHING to support the child with. There is a girl in my class (25 yr old) that has THREE kids...all on purpose...all with the same guy that has been in jail for the last year for meth. Awesome, huh? It sickens me!!!
    *~~Danie~~*
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  • That is soooo frustrating! 

    I have a friend who is married; however she and her DH are having a lot of financial/personal issues. For one they weren't able to get the mortgage on their home so her dad took the mortgage out for them...they pay him.  That is tough half the time for them.  They can't pay for heating oil, she works 1 full time job she hates, and 3 part time jobs (babysitting, painting, and violin lessons).  Her husband works retail making little.  They fight quite a bit...and she tells me that she wants a baby...that maybe it'll make her strong, get her out of her depression.  WTF?!!  I could shake her! 

    April 2010 Siggy Challenge: First Picture of Me and DH 2007


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