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What would you do?

Here's the backstory:

We have an opportunity to move closer to my job which is in SF. This would eliminate the bridge toll and the gas that it take to go from the East Bay to SF. Public transportation or ride sharing is not an option due to the location of my job. My husband has his own business, so the only thing that matters to him is that we are near an airport.

The pros of being our current enviroment is that my mom does childcare and DD is already enrolled in a preschool that she likes. The school goes all the way up to 8th grade and I kind of like that continuity. It is private though.

The pros of moving would be that I would be closer to work and able to spend more time at home. My job is really flexible so if I need to come home early or run DD somewhere I could. I would also save on commuting costs and I wouldn't be so tired. We could also get a larger place that would accomodate us better.

The cons of staying are that my commute would still suck and I have to deal with my mom which isn't the easiest situation but the childcare is free.

The cons of moving would be that I would have to find a new preschool but I could probably send DD to public school. I would have to get a nanny or something because my DH has an unpredictable schedule. The move would be to the peninsula

What would you do? What do you consider the most important thing? How would you go about thinking about it? DH is the type that like to make the decisions once we are under the gun so he doesn't discuss it much. I like to have a bit of a game plan in my head so I like to think ahead.

Re: What would you do?

  • I really don't know what to suggest since I don't have any kids yet. Hopefully you'll post on the Bump, too. GL!!

    "DH is the type that like to make the decisions once we are under the gun so he doesn't discuss it much. I like to have a bit of a game plan in my head so I like to think ahead." This is totally the way we each are, too. It can be frustrating! Hang in there!

  • IMO time is the single most important thing...so, I'd move.
  • Keep in mind that I don't have kids. But based on what you said, I would make the move.

    Your commute would be shorter and it wouldn't impact your husband much. You would be able to spend more time at home, have more flexibility around your daughter, and be less tired. You will save some in commute costs and private school costs, so some of the new childcare costs you'll incur will be covered, I would think? Sounds like there are issues with your mom too, so that gets solved as well.

    Since your daughter is still young, I don't think a move in schools would be THAT terrible. But again, I'm no expert on kids and schools. I did move a lot as a kid and while it wasn't fun, I always managed.

    I would try and do some rough math on how much you would save on gas and bridge tolls, and how much it would cost to get a nanny, and see how much of a financial impact the move would have before deciding.

  • My only question would be about cost. Would the amount of money/stress you would be saving worth the cost of the childcare?
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  • I don't have kids yet either but I think the increase in time will be well worth any childcare costs, as long as it's feasible for you of course.  Especially since in the long run eventually she'll be in school full time and daycare costs will decrease.
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  • Would East Bay to Peninsula mean a rise in rent payments too?  If so, the savings in gas and tolls isn't going to match the cost of a nanny.
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