Family Matters
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Feeling blue today

This morning I had one of *those* moments when I realized it's almost the end of March. My brother Kyle's little girl Maddy was born in March, and I am terrible because I have no idea when her birthday is or even how she's doing. I look at my son (just turned 9 months the day) and it breaks my heart to realize there is so much my brother is missing because he lost all custoday/visitation with her a few months after she was born. Her family wanted nothing to do with him or any of us (I called once when she was pregnant to say congratulations and was told to give them their space). I respected their wishes, but wanted to still send 1st Christmas, 1st Easter cards/presents to let them know I wasn't a bum too and wished the best for Maddy. With mom's cancer and having my own children, I never did it. Now that she's one, I feel like it's too late. Is that stupid? I have never met Maddy or her mother's family, and would probably walk right by them if I saw them on the street, so I don't know why I feel so blue about it.

Re: Feeling blue today

  • Sorry you are feeling blue, but it isn't too late. If you want to be involved in your neice's life, reach out again and see what happens. You never know if you don't try. Her mom may be happy to have more people to love her little girl.
  • I am in the same boat as you (kinda) My brother has not had anything to do with his son (who is now 3) I just recently met him for the first time a few months ago and luckily the mother is really nice and doesnt want anything from us. I met them at a mall and got some clothes for the son and then a few days later I went to his birthday party. I have invited them over to our house to go swimming this summer and I am planning on making an Easter basket for him. It was a little awkward at first but hopefully the mother will allow you to be a part of the childs life.
  • It's never too late to send a card and well wishes. 

    Sorry you are feeling down about this, I hope everything else in your life is going well.  

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • I ditto the others.  It's not too late to reach out once again.  You never know if the mom's feelings have changed towards other members of the family until you try.  Some people actually do change their tunes. 

    My cousin never even knew he had a son until the boy was 18 months old.  It was a one-night thing that resulted in a pregnancy and the mother chose to hide it for over a year before finally writing a letter to him and his family explaining that they had a child together, and she didn't want anything from my cousin or his parents, but just felt that they should know about it and let them make up their minds on whether or not they watned to be a part of his life.  My cousin is now an active father and his parents are loving every minute with him as well.

    I hope you feel better!

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