I have been in my stepdaughters life since she was almost 2, and my stepson's since he was born (Reader's Digest version - DH and his ex-wife married while they were still in highschool because she was pregnant; he was a year ahead, graduated and went off to the Army; came back they tried to make it work, it didn't, they separated, found out she was prego again, he met me, we have a great relationship with his ex and her husband, I promise I'm not a homewrecker). My stepson is very active in sports and rides ATVs with his dad and stepdad. My stepdaughter shows no interest in anything. DH and I want to make sure she gets equal attention and opportunity to do the things she wants, but she just is not interested.
This last year she asked to go to the aquarium for her birthday, which we happily did as a family. She has asked to start coming with me to get our nails done or our hair done at the salon. We have girl movie nights with her cousins and aunts, whom we are very close to. It is just that she goes to all of her brother's games and goes and hangs out at the track with her dad when they go four-wheeling, we just want to make sure we are not sacrificing time with her doing something she wants to do so that she feels she is not getting her fair share.
We have awesome communication and I really do feel that she would tell one of us if she felt slighted in any way, I am just worried that she doesn't know her "options". So ladies, what do you do with your 11 year old daughters that we can try? Her mom is struggling with this too, so any advice is welcomed and doubly-appreciated!