Cleaning & Organizing
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DH is a slob!!! All DONE/ PIP! :-)

So I am cleaning the whole house today while DH is out of town. (He won't be back until Thursday.)  I got our room done and thought I would be a nice little wife and tackle his office. It hasn't been cleaned since we moved in in April! It is also VERY cluttered with his work stuff (because he has a small desk with no storage... not even enough space for the printer on top.) and a bunch of items we just threw in there not knowing what to do with... you know the infamous "junk drawer"? Well it's kind of like a junk ROOM. So I am going through this stuff and I am getting overwhelmed. I would probably just throw most of it away it is stuff we NEVER use. DH is a pack rat though. Example: Magic cards from when he was in HS that he never looks at... he has to keep them. Also he has the cable cord running from the opposite wall of his desk through the closet around the room to where his desk is. Why would he not put his desk on the wall with the cable! Ugh. Any way end crazy rant. Thanks :-)

 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2087577&id=1180590044&l=c86d464f86

(Yes I know I shouldn't post pics straight from FB...) 

Re: DH is a slob!!! All DONE/ PIP! :-)

  • My FI is the same way.  He keeps old cell phones, receipts, stupid shiit.  I just throw it out without telling him BUT ONLY if I KNOW it's useless.  Magic Cards I would ask him about; they might be worth money (maybe??)  Good luck!
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  • Yeah I just made a big pile in the closet of stuff he needs to go through but got the rest cleaned up! Hung his posters and albums on the walls. Just bought curtains for his window and a file cabinet. It should be a nice surprise for when he gets home!
  • I feel your pain.  Truly!  Hang in there. 
  • Here's hoping your follow up post to this isn't on the TIP board... that's pretty ballsy, and not necessarily a "nice little wife" action.  You're not doing it for him; you're doing it for you.  That's fine and all, but just be honest about it.  He obviously was fine living that way, or else he would have done somethign about it himself, or ASKED for your help...  Good luck...

     

     

  • imageKathyGee:

    Here's hoping your follow up post to this isn't on the TIP board... that's pretty ballsy, and not necessarily a "nice little wife" action.  You're not doing it for him; you're doing it for you.  That's fine and all, but just be honest about it.  He obviously was fine living that way, or else he would have done somethign about it himself, or ASKED for your help...  Good luck...

     

     

     Ummm OUCH! We for sure wont be hitting up the TIP board any time soon but thanks for your concern? My husband works very hard and gets pretty stressed. I guess he is obviously okay with working in that condition. My motivation behind cleaning for him was not for myself. I do not go in that room unless I am talking to DH. (Which I try NOT to do because he WORKS in there.) I thought that if I got it clean and organized he may be a little less stressed about work. I honestly think he will love it and appreciate that I did it.

  • imagecakozelka10:
    imageKathyGee:

    Here's hoping your follow up post to this isn't on the TIP board... that's pretty ballsy, and not necessarily a "nice little wife" action.  You're not doing it for him; you're doing it for you.  That's fine and all, but just be honest about it.  He obviously was fine living that way, or else he would have done somethign about it himself, or ASKED for your help...  Good luck...

     

     

     Ummm OUCH! We for sure wont be hitting up the TIP board any time soon but thanks for your concern? My husband works very hard and gets pretty stressed. I guess he is obviously okay with working in that condition. My motivation behind cleaning for him was not for myself. I do not go in that room unless I am talking to DH. (Which I try NOT to do because he WORKS in there.) I thought that if I got it clean and organized he may be a little less stressed about work. I honestly think he will love it and appreciate that I did it.

    My DH would love if I cleaned up his desk, as long as I didn't throw away things he needs.  He just hates when I clean it with him sitting around there b/c then I play 20 questions of "do you need this".  I don't think it was ballsy, I think it was nice.  I try to straighten DH's desk every time I'm in the basement even though I'm never really around there (I just go downstairs to get food out of our spare freezer), so I totally get that you were doing it for him and not for yourself.  

  • WOW Kathy you must have a crapy marriage if thats the conclusion you draw from this.  Everyone needs to vent every once in awhile. 

    Cako your H will be very pleased and thankful. Sometimes people just are too busy to take the time to clean a mess. I totally understand where you were coming from.Smile

  • imageBravo211:

    WOW Kathy you must have a crapy marriage if thats the conclusion you draw from this.  Everyone needs to vent every once in awhile. 

    Cako your H will be very pleased and thankful. Sometimes people just are too busy to take the time to clean a mess. I totally understand where you were coming from.Smile

    No, I don't have a crappy marriage, and a good reason I don't is because I would never do something like what the OP did. I respect his space and his stuff and I would never go through the things he thinks are important to him without his involvement and make decisions about them based on my values and judgements, and not his.

    But, I am also probably 15 years older than OP and am not a newlywed, so i have had a different enough life experience that I must just see the situation diffferently. Venting is fine. And expected. It's the "I did this while he was out of town" part that is problematic.

    But, hey. If he loves it, that's awesome. She's just proven to him that, no matter how much she complains, she'll clean up after him anyway. And if he doesn't, hopefully she will understand what exactly upset him and figure out how to meet both their goals together in the future.

  • I think we have had a mis communication here. He keeps a lot of things I think are dumb like old cards, cell phone boxes, papers etc. However I did not throw them away. I put it all in a box in the closet. All of the trash, things we put in there because we were not sure what to do with those are the things I put away/ threw away. I know he would be pissed if I threw away his special things. :-) Miss Kathy is right in that I will clean up no matter how much I complain and ask him to do it. we have set chores. ME laundry, HIM Dishes and trash. The rest we are supposed to share. HOWEVER beyond his set chores I have a hard time getting him to do anything. When he does his quality of work is lacking (IMO). If I wait for him to do it the whole house looks like his office did. :-/ Any good tips on how to get DH to clean better/ more often?
  • imagecakozelka10:
    I think we have had a mis communication here. He keeps a lot of things I think are dumb like old cards, cell phone boxes, papers etc. However I did not throw them away. I put it all in a box in the closet. All of the trash, things we put in there because we were not sure what to do with those are the things I put away/ threw away. I know he would be pissed if I threw away his special things. :-) Miss Kathy is right in that I will clean up no matter how much I complain and ask him to do it. we have set chores. ME laundry, HIM Dishes and trash. The rest we are supposed to share. HOWEVER beyond his set chores I have a hard time getting him to do anything. When he does his quality of work is lacking (IMO). If I wait for him to do it the whole house looks like his office did. :-/ Any good tips on how to get DH to clean better/ more often?

    How does he do with specific tasks?  When DH helps me clean, he likes to do the dishes b/c otherwise he just kind of walks in circles and doesn't know what to do without me saying, "wipe down the counter", "fold the blanket", "put these papers somewhere", etc.  Maybe he just doesn't know where to start.  DH is really good about helping me if I ask for help, but overall he just doesn't "get" it.

  • Thats pretty much my DH... On occasion I will be like here is a list of exactly what you need to do before the kitchen will be "clean" To some extent I feel like he just plays dumb. He is SO smart he cannot possibly not figure how cleaning works. lol or maybe he really is cleaning illiterate. 
  • My DH's parent's house was immaculate, so I thought that moving in with him wouldn't be a big mess issue...wrong. I guess his mom always kept everything up and didn't really ask him to do it growing up and he just never learned. He has a bad habbit of leaving things around and letting them pile up.

    My remedy is to keep two big bins around so when I clean up and find those random "why do we have this?" things, I put them in A) the donate box if I know he hasn't used it in over a year, or B) the keep box (stuff he just left out, but has used recently). I put them next to the door and tell him he has a week to look through them before I donate or store the things where I think they belong. So far it's worked out. Sometimes I'll put all the screwdrivers together in one toolbox, and then he'll go looking through all the toolboxes except that one and he'll say I "hid" them from him...but so far that's the only hangup with my method Big Smile

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  • This is much the same issue that we have. He lives like a total slob. No matter how hard I try, it's just not possible to keep up with him. Beyond taking the trash, he doesn't willingly do anything around home. it's like pulling teeth just to get some help with the dishes. When I organize stuff and he can't find it it's because I hid it from him :) It's funny because aside from the house cleaning, he is the most thoughtful person that I've met and would willingly do anything to help someone out.

    He also keeps stupid stuff. we have about 12 years worth of sports illustrated magazines, Jeans that are no longer fit to wear (he worked construction for 8 years), 2 drawers of socks (mostly with holes in them, but we can't replace them?), a basket (large, not small) full of cell phones that are ancient and no longer work along with the chargers to match, and the list goes on and on and on. He has more junk than my grandmother :)

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