September 2010 Weddings
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My BM had her baby! advice plz

One of my bridesmaids had a little boy this morning around 4 am.

I am super excited for her and her husband.

But she was only at 26 weeks and the baby is around 1 lb. and 11 inches.

I really want to put together a care package for the family, but I am at a loss on what to include. She will be in the hospital for probably 3 - 4 days and he will be there for months.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Also if it helps, she has not had any form of a baby shower yet and this is baby #1.

Re: My BM had her baby! advice plz

  • image exictedbride:

    One of my bridesmaids had a little boy this morning around 4 am.

    I am super excited for her and her husband.

    But she was only at 26 weeks and the baby is around 1 lb. and 11 inches.

    I really want to put together a care package for the family, but I am at a loss on what to include. She will be in the hospital for probably 3 - 4 days and he will be there for months.

    Any thoughts or suggestions?

    Also if it helps, she has not had any form of a baby shower yet and this is baby #1.

    My BFF and BM went into early labor (this was a few years ago), and was in the hospital for WEEKS.  I went and visited and brought things to read (books, fluffy/gossip magazines) and do (card games).  She said that was really great for breaking up the monotony of being in the hospital for so long. 

    ETA:  Movies?  TV on DVD?  Anything to occupy her time, since she'll likely want to spend much of it at the hospital even after she's released, but wouldn't really be able to spend every minute of it with the baby.

    She likely won't need a lot of the stuff you'd get at a baby shower (clothes, blankets) until after he comes home, so I would focus on HER rather than those things. 

    Is there already a shower in the works?  If not, if you can pull together with some friends and get a bunch of that stuff for her without having to go through the party (which I dread), that would be nice. 

    image
  • If it makes a difference I am 1500 miles away from her.

    I really do want to focus on her and her husband.

    I am planning on waiting until the baby gets stronger and closer to coming home (which could be 3 months away since he is 14 weeks early) before I make any big ticket purchases.

    Thanks for the ideas so far.

  • I would send her a journal.  This way she can jot down her thoughts, emotions, jitters and any other feelings that come along with being a new mother. 

     Oooh, I would also get her Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul.

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  • image exictedbride:

    If it makes a difference I am 1500 miles away from her.

    Eesh, that's harder.  I think you've got the right idea, focusing on her.  I'm always cold in hospitals, so maybe a nice comfy blanket or fleece to keep there.

    image
  • Oh, could I ever write a book on this topic. My SIL (hubbys sister) had our niece at 28 weeks. She was born at 2lbs 4oz. Besides the fact that SIL didn't spend much time with the baby at the hospital, I could tel you a thousand things I would do different if it were me. I would definetely find any way you can to encourage mommy. SIL claims that she was afraid of the baby dying, so she didn't want to spend time there... We gave her gas cards for Christmas b/c her excuse at the time was money since the baby wasn't at the local hospital. Not sure if that would help your friend though. Maybe find some books of other info on preemies? I know that would've been good for SIL. Maybe munchy type food so she doesn't have to eat out constantly? I'll try to think of some more ideas.
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  • When MOH had her preemie last April, we took snacks, books, movies and games like PP said.  Also, she really wanted some literature on preemies, so we made a giant basket of preemie things, including clothes.  She had her son the day before her shower so we assumed most people got her regular baby clothes.

    I think the gas card and journal are also great ideas.  But the most important thing is to be there for her.  Call her every few days or so, let her bounce her feelings/thoughts/worries off of you and let her know you support her and her family no mater what.

  • I agree with all the other PPs. My niece was born early (32 weeks). I would definitely do books, mags, etc and gas GC or food GC since they'll probably be at the hospital most days, all day and cooking will be the last thing on their mind. Or a little goody bag with some go to snacks/munchies.

    If they don't live nearby then they may even stay at a Ronald McDonald type house (my sister did when my niece was born since they lived over an hour away). If that's the case, then I'd definitely do a food/grocery GC to help with that.

    I really like the journal idea too.

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  • I agree with what everyone else has said. 

    But just wanted to say that i'm sending thoughts her way!!  Hubby's cousin is going through the same thing right now.  the baby is finally at 3 lbs, and we are just now planning a shower for Feb.  (wanted to wait and see how things pan out).  Things are looking good, it's just going to be a slow process. 

    Thoughts and prayers!

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  • My little brother was a preemie! Def stuff to keep mom busy why she is up there! My mom wasn't around for 2 1/2 months because she was always at the hospital with Kane.

    As far as shower since she didn't get one, when they get home and settled how about a baby meet and greet? That's starting to become more popular here, but it would depend on how healthy baby is when they get home.

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