Family Matters
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Question for The Nest Magazine - Relationship Advice?

For an upcoming issue, we want to know - what's the worst relationship advice your parents ever gave you

For example, advice on how to deal with a relationship once you're in one. Or it doesn't have to be about being in a romantic relationship - can be about friends, family, etc. 

Post to this board and let us know! 

Re: Question for The Nest Magazine - Relationship Advice?

  • My mother told me it's just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man.

    That's pretty much all the advice I got, bless her heart.

  • My mother (and my grandmother) believed that a wife should make their husband be their go-between when it came to in-laws.  They also believed that a wife should make their husband do (fill in the blank).  I see that advice around a lot of different places.  Like my mother and my grandmother, those women all sound very bitter and angry - because even if they successfully make the husband do something they themselves are never happy because the fellow didn't do it on his own.  I also see that the women have to exert a certain level of emotional manipulation for this to happen (either anger or tears).  I think it is a weak woman who puts her husband in such a position rather than speaking up on their own.  If and when the husband is needed - sure, but so much is just over petty and ego stuff it's ridiculous.  And many of these women never really try to talk or compromise with their husbands/ils to begin with.  My mother and grandmothers were miserable in their marriages.  My grandmother hated my father, my mother hated my husband.  My husband and I have a wonderful marriage once *I* decided to find my own voice.
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  • Mom has always said "what dad doesn't know won't hurt him..." (about things she bought, how much she spent, etc...)

    If I tried that with my DH, things would get ugly fast!

  • My mom's advice to me (at my shower) was "if you're angry, yell and scream, get it all out.  You'll feel better."

    My mom's yelling / screaming was like poison spreading when I was younger.  SHE may have felt better after screaming, but nobody else in the house did. 

    No way would I want to live like that - or have my kids live like that.

  • My Grandmother told me to marry for money the first time because I could always marry for love the second and then I would have money!

    My MIL always says that you should never complain or even try to talk to anyone (friends, family, spouse) about  things they do that upset you or hurt you. She thinks that you should always "forgive" without working out issues because forgiveness is the "Christian" thing to do. (She is a very bitter women)

    This one was advice my husband got from his father, about me. He was told that he needed to put his foot down and tell me how things are going to be, otherwise I will always be speaking my mind and trying to have a say in how things are ran in our house. (I wonder why the man's wife is so bitter?!)

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  • I never got advice from my dad (just weren't that open about things with him, he is very judgemental) But my mother has never given me any bad advice.  I can always count on her; she has made many mistakes romantically and has always been really open with me.  She said she wants me to learn from her mistakes.
  • imageTheUnderwoods11:

    Mom has always said "what dad doesn't know won't hurt him..." (about things she bought, how much she spent, etc...)

    If I tried that with my DH, things would get ugly fast!

    My mom has said that on occasion lol and yes things would get real ugly real fast :)

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  • My FIL said, in his speech AT our wedding reception, "If the wife wears the pants in the relationship, another woman is wearing the furs".

     He was serious.

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