We had is fam over for xmas and FIL decided to verbally attack me, screaming, shouting and the whole bit. He's always been a jerk and has always had a sick need to help people, even when they tell him no (multiple times). Since then, I have never felt safe in my living room (my heart starts racing and I get really angry). DH tried to stop him, but he was told to back off, so DH backed off. MIL and SIL sat there and watched the whole thing without doing anything (except MIL started crying).
SO - MIL calls a few days later, talks to DH then FIL (who never uses the phone) talks to DH, demanding that I apologize to him. WTH?
Now, DH and I were thinking about TTC, then this happened and now I do not want to have kids as long as his dad is still around. His parents live 1/2 hr away, so they're 'close' in proximity. I do not want my kid to have anything to do with them, and DH thinks I should apologize. So, first, I'm thinking of a way to tell him I'm no longer in the baby business.
Second of all, DH thinks we should still be nice and invite them over next time there's a function. I F-ING WAY! I say, but he thinks it's ok. Let me get this straight - his dad is allowed to come into MY home and SCREAM at ME and not allow DH to stand up for me, and THEN I'm supposed to act like nothing happened and 'play nice'? I feel I have a right to deny anyone access to my home since my name is also on the deed. I have a right to not allow anyone to do that to me ever, and I have a right to have a husband who has the balls to protect me, in our home. So, second of all, what can I do to make sure FIL never comes onto my property again?
In a fit of anger about this, I told DH that under no circumstances was he to allow his dad back into this house, and if he does, I'll call a lawyer so fast his head will spin. It's been a couple of weeks later, and I still feel that way. Otherwise, DH is great and I love him very much, I just REALLY hate his dad and do not want to have kids to add to the 'they're not seeing the grandparents' drama.
My parents live in a different state, so the kid will have one set of grandparents they can see once or twice a year.
Sorry for the long post, but I feel I still need to vent and I want to know what I can do if FIL shows up on the doorstep. Can I call the police to remove him? He's a stubborn SOB and if it happens he won't leave if I tell him to. I want to be prepared and have a plan. This thing has traumatized me so much that I'm prepared to split w/ DH if he sides w/ his dad on this.
Is it wicked of me to want to wait until FIL is dead to have kids?
Adding backstory: FIL keeps offering help which is not needed and does not take no for an answer. DH will not firmly tell him to back off. FIL's own house is falling apart and will not take care of it or MIL (i.e. does not even run the furnace in the winter and will not replace broken stuff). At xmas, I was busy with setting stuff out and putting stuff away and letting the dog out and when I got back in, FIL blasted me out of the blue about how he does all this stuff for us (which he doesn't, since I don't allow it) and how I should respect him, etc. etc. Took all of us by surprise. I did not raise my voice or try to argue w/ the crazy. MIL started crying, DH spoke up and FIL screams at him to stay out of it and DH backs off. They leave, SIL says later why doesn't he do that to the loser BIL (DH's other sis & her husband weren't there). I'm wondering WTH did I do and very shaken. DH & SIL think I didn't offer him a drink when they came in. I admitted I was distracted and DH could have offered the drink. Still, wth?