Sex & Romance
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Devastated

Yes, my screen name is crashingdown, as in my world around me. I am a semi-nest regular but can't post this under my real name as most don't know that I am recently divorced.

My divorce was finalized this past spring and I started dating my current boyfriend in August. We have been getting serious and decided that both of us getting tested for STD's would be a good idea. Yes, we've slept together before but have always used condoms and yes, there was one other man that I slept with after my divorce, but again, I have always used condoms. Anyway, as part of the panel that I had done, they did a test for Hepatitis C. Imagine my surprise when they called me to tell me the results and that I have it.

My mind is whirling all around. I had always suspected that my ex cheated on me, but could never prove it. We have a child together and when I was pregnant I had chosen to be tested for Hepatitis and it was negative. So that means that either my husband gave it to me sometime after the birth of our child a year 18 months ago or I got it when I got a small tattoo on my back in the Spring (I got a butterfly to commemorate my divorce and to symbolize my freedeom).

My head is spinning right now. My OB is sending me to a specialist but I am terrified. I haven't talked to my boyfriend about this yet. I just found out today and he is out of town, this is hardly the kind of news that you share over the phone. I am terrified that he is going to leave me, and who would blame him, I could be dead in 10 years! Or worse, what if I somehow gave it to him? I mean, we've always used condoms, but we have had sex during my period before. I didn't know!  I am only 27 years old for godsakes, how the hell did this happen to me! And the thought of leaving my child without a mother, I don't even want to think about that.  I don't want to talk to anyone about this yet, because really, until I see a specialist, I won't know anything.

 I don't know if I am looking for advice here or what. I just don't know what to do, don't know what to say.  I am so scared. Scared for my life, for my health. Scared of losing a man that I am deeply in love with. We have only been dating for 5 months, but we have been talking marriage. Children. My whole world is crashing down around me right now and I just don't know what to do. I have just been given a death sentence, god help me, I just don't know where to go from here.

Re: Devastated

  •   All depends on how good of care you take of yourself etc. Pam Anderson who is not a fine example of morals and does not have a healthy lifestyle.

      She seems to be doing fine even with hep C for at least the past 10 years. 

  • Take a minute and breathe.  Sit down and write out a list of questions for your doctor.  Talk to your BF asap.  He needs to know so he can get tested. As well as past sexual partners.  Take care of yourself.  Learn what you have to do to stay healthy and do it.  Naomi Judd has been living with Hepatitis C for over 20 years and is still going strong.  I just googled her and her official website has a section on Hep C with information and resources.  Might be worth checking out.   

     

    ETA:  Please keep in mind that if your BF also tests positive he may have been the one to give it to you.  Same with the man you slept with between your husband and current BF.  Quite simply you may never know for sure how you contracted it.

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  • I have a friend who was given Hep C from tainted blood when he was 2.  He's now a pilot who is your age.  This is not a death sentence. 

    The doctors will let you know how to take care of yourself and how to be careful in your relationships.  You're best weapon in fighting this is to educate yourself.

  • Second opinion.

    Go get your blood drawn again and have them test it at another facility. Insist upon it.

    It could be a false positive. And see another doc if it makes you feel better.

    If it turns out you do have Hepatitis C, google, read up on the topic, ask and and ask question after question: an informed patient is one with power.

    There are also support groups, I am sure -- check one out.

     Wishing you luck. Take care.

     

     

     

  • I mean, we've always used condoms, but we have had sex during my period before.

    So when you had your period you didn't use a condom? If so why? You know it is possible to get pregnant during your period right?

     

    About the Hep C though, I'd get a second opinion. And then take it one step at a time. I won't worry as much on who gave it to you but I would let your previous partners know that you have it so they can get checked too. Do your research, this sucks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

  • imageLil'BlackDress:

    I mean, we've always used condoms, but we have had sex during my period before.

    So when you had your period you didn't use a condom? If so why? You know it is possible to get pregnant during your period right?

     

    About the Hep C though, I'd get a second opinion. And then take it one step at a time. I won't worry as much on who gave it to you but I would let your previous partners know that you have it so they can get checked too. Do your research, this sucks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

    can you explain to me how you can be ovulating while on your period? unless you are suggesting that there are those that ovulate within days of their period, which could happen.

    Thanks to our wonderful RE our family is complete!
    DS #1 10.12.12
    DS #2 10.24.14

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  • imagecarcrashheart:
    imageLil'BlackDress:

    I mean, we've always used condoms, but we have had sex during my period before.

    So when you had your period you didn't use a condom? If so why? You know it is possible to get pregnant during your period right?

     

    About the Hep C though, I'd get a second opinion. And then take it one step at a time. I won't worry as much on who gave it to you but I would let your previous partners know that you have it so they can get checked too. Do your research, this sucks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

    can you explain to me how you can be ovulating while on your period? unless you are suggesting that there are those that ovulate within days of their period, which could happen.

    It's less likely but it can still happen, but we were taught this in grade 7 health class that it is possible and that you should continue using protection throughout.  Someone can correct me if I'm saying this wrong but it's more common if you have shorter cycles, and you would ovulate closer to the date after your period is over. Sperm can live up to something like 5 days so if you ovulate while the sperm is still alive inside you then you can get pregnant from having sex on your period.

  • The hep C test is notorious for false positives.  Don't panic yet.
    image
  • imageLil'BlackDress:
    imagecarcrashheart:
    imageLil'BlackDress:

    I mean, we've always used condoms, but we have had sex during my period before.

    So when you had your period you didn't use a condom? If so why? You know it is possible to get pregnant during your period right?

     

    About the Hep C though, I'd get a second opinion. And then take it one step at a time. I won't worry as much on who gave it to you but I would let your previous partners know that you have it so they can get checked too. Do your research, this sucks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

    can you explain to me how you can be ovulating while on your period? unless you are suggesting that there are those that ovulate within days of their period, which could happen.

    It's less likely but it can still happen, but we were taught this in grade 7 health class that it is possible and that you should continue using protection throughout.  Someone can correct me if I'm saying this wrong but it's more common if you have shorter cycles, and you would ovulate closer to the date after your period is over. Sperm can live up to something like 5 days so if you ovulate while the sperm is still alive inside you then you can get pregnant from having sex on your period.

    Correct.

    And I took her saying that she had sex during her period to mean that even though they used a condom, there was some bodily fluid (blood) transfer to her partner. Correct me if I'm wrong, OP!

    And yes, second opinion! Don't panic. If your test is correct, you CAN live with this.

  • First off, definitely get a second opinion somewhere else. 

    My mom contracted Hep C during a blood transfusion when my twin sister & I were born. It is not a death sentence. She did not know she had it for years and had multiple partners, none of which have gotten it as far as I know...including my father.

    She did a lot of alternative medicine stuff but had an additional blood condition that caused her lots of problems. You can live a healthy and happy life with Hep C. Hang in there.

  • imageTough Taters:
    imageLil'BlackDress:
    imagecarcrashheart:
    imageLil'BlackDress:

    I mean, we've always used condoms, but we have had sex during my period before.

    So when you had your period you didn't use a condom? If so why? You know it is possible to get pregnant during your period right?

     

    About the Hep C though, I'd get a second opinion. And then take it one step at a time. I won't worry as much on who gave it to you but I would let your previous partners know that you have it so they can get checked too. Do your research, this sucks but it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

    can you explain to me how you can be ovulating while on your period? unless you are suggesting that there are those that ovulate within days of their period, which could happen.

    It's less likely but it can still happen, but we were taught this in grade 7 health class that it is possible and that you should continue using protection throughout.  Someone can correct me if I'm saying this wrong but it's more common if you have shorter cycles, and you would ovulate closer to the date after your period is over. Sperm can live up to something like 5 days so if you ovulate while the sperm is still alive inside you then you can get pregnant from having sex on your period.

    Correct.

    And I took her saying that she had sex during her period to mean that even though they used a condom, there was some bodily fluid (blood) transfer to her partner. Correct me if I'm wrong, OP!

    And yes, second opinion! Don't panic. If your test is correct, you CAN live with this.

    right. obviously i am well aware of that. but what i am trying to say though, is that it's more likely that this isn't going to happen, than it is. it certainly IS possible, but not very common. 7th grade health doesn't follow up with the fact that some women just don't O on their own, or between the average CD12-14.

    Thanks to our wonderful RE our family is complete!
    DS #1 10.12.12
    DS #2 10.24.14

    image
    image
  • Thank you for all of the responses. I have done some research since I posted last night and I am feeling a little more at peace with my possible diagnosis.

    First of all, just to clarify, we did use a condom when we had sex during my period, for cleanliness reasons mostly. My concern is not pregnancy, but from what I read, this is a virus that is transmitted through blood, so by having sex during my period I have exposed him to it.

     I'm glad that some of you mentioned false positives. I did research that and it looks like somewhere between 10-20% of positive results are in fact false positives. I am not going to get my hopes up that I am one of them, but it is something. It also said that in roughly 15-20% of people diagnosed actually get rid of the virus naturally and it never turns chronic. Again, not going to get my hopes up, but if I was exposed when I think I was, this is at least a possibility. If I am in fact chronic, there are treatments, so all hope is not lost. I did also speak with my OB again today because when she called me yesterday I was in shock and didn't think to ask too many questions. She is sending me for additional tests to check my viral levels and also to find out what genotype the strain that I have is, if in fact the diagnosis is correct. I am also going to call a specialist and he'll run additional tests.

    I am still terrified, I still don't know what the ultimate outcome will be, but I do at least feel more hopeful now than I did yesterday. Chances are good that I could actually outlive the disease and hopefully will live a long life with my children (I will hopefully be able to have more someday) and grandchildren.

     I am still also very nervous to talk to my boyfriend, but am going to wait until he comes back into town and I see him on Tuesday. He has gotten 2 very devastating pieces of news this week and I am not looking forward to adding to his stress, but this is definitely a conversation that has to be had even if he ultimately ends up leaving me.

    Thank you again for a place to vent and for offering me your kind words. The words of strangers mean more to me right now than you will ever know.

  • I just wanted to say Good Luck to you!  I hope all turns out well for you.  A positive attitude is half the battle in matters like these...and you already have that!
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  •  

    good luck and keep us upated!



  • My friend had it and certain patient types there is an actual cure. She had the treatment which took months and she is now Hepatitis C free. So stop freaking out, talk to your man and then listen to the specialist. There are options and good luck. HUGS
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  • I am late to respond but wanted to wish you luck and tell you that it is not a death sentence.  My exH contracted Hep C when he was a child from a blood transfusion, and gave it to his brother when they were sharing razors as teens.  They are both fine (mid-late 30's) but get annual biopsies to monitor what's happening there.  There are treatments too, though some are considered experimental and they have yucky side effects.  Btw, Hep C is not transmitted sexually but rather through blood.  I would guess that you got it when you had your tattoo done and that your bf doesn't have it.  I was tested after ex and I split up and I don't have it, in spite of 9 years of unprotected sex with him.   

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  • This is sad news.I had a friend who is still alive with this.Its been over 20 years now.As far as the an.He has the right to know.If you don't tell him how do you know if he has a physical and finds out?
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