Yes, my screen name is crashingdown, as in my world around me. I am a semi-nest regular but can't post this under my real name as most don't know that I am recently divorced.
My divorce was finalized this past spring and I started dating my current boyfriend in August. We have been getting serious and decided that both of us getting tested for STD's would be a good idea. Yes, we've slept together before but have always used condoms and yes, there was one other man that I slept with after my divorce, but again, I have always used condoms. Anyway, as part of the panel that I had done, they did a test for Hepatitis C. Imagine my surprise when they called me to tell me the results and that I have it.
My mind is whirling all around. I had always suspected that my ex cheated on me, but could never prove it. We have a child together and when I was pregnant I had chosen to be tested for Hepatitis and it was negative. So that means that either my husband gave it to me sometime after the birth of our child a year 18 months ago or I got it when I got a small tattoo on my back in the Spring (I got a butterfly to commemorate my divorce and to symbolize my freedeom).
My head is spinning right now. My OB is sending me to a specialist but I am terrified. I haven't talked to my boyfriend about this yet. I just found out today and he is out of town, this is hardly the kind of news that you share over the phone. I am terrified that he is going to leave me, and who would blame him, I could be dead in 10 years! Or worse, what if I somehow gave it to him? I mean, we've always used condoms, but we have had sex during my period before. I didn't know! I am only 27 years old for godsakes, how the hell did this happen to me! And the thought of leaving my child without a mother, I don't even want to think about that. I don't want to talk to anyone about this yet, because really, until I see a specialist, I won't know anything.
I don't know if I am looking for advice here or what. I just don't know what to do, don't know what to say. I am so scared. Scared for my life, for my health. Scared of losing a man that I am deeply in love with. We have only been dating for 5 months, but we have been talking marriage. Children. My whole world is crashing down around me right now and I just don't know what to do. I have just been given a death sentence, god help me, I just don't know where to go from here.