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finally made an appointment

I love my OB.  I'm going in to talk with him on Monday and try to find out what is going on.  I am hoping for some answers, even if its just that our timing is off.  My charts are telling me that I'm not always ovulating, and at totally different times if I do.  

I feel like I'm doing this behind DH's back because every time I try to talk to him about going to the dr, he doesn't respond.  I think he thinks that going to the dr. about this automatically means multiples, I'm not sure.  I've tried to explain to him why I take my temperature, and what it all tells me, but he doesn't want to listen to that either.  He thinks that if we just wait long enough and not think about it it will happen.  I just don't want kids 4+ years apart.  

Cross your fingers for me that we get some answers, and hopefully some easy ones.    

Re: finally made an appointment

  • I'm sorry, Bryn.  There is nothing more disappointing, frustrating and heartbreaking as trying to get pregnant when you really, really want to (and you're trying!).

    I'm glad you're going to the doctor and hope you get your answers soon.  I can't wait to see E v2.0!!

  • Ditto Jennie!  I hope you get some answers Bryn, good luck!
    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/izn4lw.jpg[/IMG]


    **Crunchy Mama to three girlies and one little guy**


    *P 9.2005 * B 11.2007 * M 6.2009 * J 11.2011*
  • I think guys get freaked out talking about this because they are afraid the doctor will find something wrong with their manhood.  I'm wondering if your DH feels like a failure by your not getting pg, and doesn't want to deal with it.  Don't feel guilty about making an appt, you are just trying to figure out what is going on and it will give you great peace of mind.
  • Well, he will have to deal with it and get over it, because jizzing in a cup is in his future - they check you, and him.

    I'm glad that you are being proactive about your health - obviously something isnt working right, and its good that you find out why. But also, be prepared for a crapshoot guessing game that takes time, because there are no answers in fertility, only experiments really. Its finding the right combination of medicine, timing, and procedure all rolled into one. And it doesnt always mean multiples, so tell your dh to chill. But the chance is always there, so make sure that he is on board with being okay with twins, ect. Good luck to you Bryn! You are a great mom, and you deserve more kidlets!

  • Well clearly don't tell your DH you're friends with me.  You can "catch" twins, you know. Wink

    Fingers crossed you get it all sorted out ASAP. You two make some cute kids!

    7.9.10



    [url="http://crosscountrysquared.blogspot.com/"] My blog[/url]
  • I think you'll feel much better after talking to your OB - at the very least, you'll feel empowered with the information and action plans the doctor will lay out for you.  I'll be thinking about you!!
    [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/avfpqc.jpg[/IMG]

    [IMG]http://i55.tinypic.com/6f4j8o.jpg[/IMG]
  • image tiff-n-nick:

    Well, he will have to deal with it and get over it, because jizzing in a cup is in his future - they check you, and him.

    I'm glad that you are being proactive about your health - obviously something isnt working right, and its good that you find out why. But also, be prepared for a crapshoot guessing game that takes time, because there are no answers in fertility, only experiments really. Its finding the right combination of medicine, timing, and procedure all rolled into one. And it doesnt always mean multiples, so tell your dh to chill. But the chance is always there, so make sure that he is on board with being okay with twins, ect. Good luck to you Bryn! You are a great mom, and you deserve more kidlets!

    Ditto all of this.  Timing is everything!  And we put 2 in and just have 1. 

  • Praying the doc. will have some words of wisdom!
  • Tiff is right. It's all a crapshoot. Make sure you take your charts in when you go - your OB will test you and DH before you do anything. So, DH needs to get on board with you as far as the dr goes.

    With my winning cycle, we had 3 strong eggs on IUI day, and only 1 baby. IF treatments/meds don't automatically mean multiples!

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  • Thinking of you, Bryn.  I, too, hope the doctor has some answers for you. =)
  • Ditto PP's. I'll be thinking of you Bryn! I hope you can get some answers soon and be on your way to a brother or sister for E!
    Holly
  • Dh was the same way, he was insistent that if we weren't getting pg by my next OB appt that we were not doing drugs, shots, etc to help us get pg.  He also has a major fear of twins.

    Praying that you get some answers at your appt and you get the + soon.  ((hugs))

  • I'm so glad you made the appt.  When we were having trouble, I felt better after just making the appt.  And my DH wasn't initially on board, he thought I was over-reacting.  But eventually he was willing as well.

  • Thanks for the kind wishes ladies.  I told DH last night that I'd made an appointment, and he is not happy.  He basically said that if we can't get pg on our own, it wasn't meant to be.  I'm not okay with that answer.  E being an only child was never the plan.  I know things don't always go according to plans, but I'm not ready to give up that easily.  I'm hoping that after I see my OB I can talk to him a little more rationally about it.  I'm not sure where we go if he doesn't change his mind.  
  • Good luck! Sometimes it is something as simple as getting your body to O again after being on BC.

     Cory was NOT on board with doing IF treatments at all. It took quite a few talks and then a few good crying sessions to get him to agree to everything. Once he saw that it really was something that was VERY important to me I think that it opened his eyes. I got a lot of information from my OB for him to read and that helped quite a bit too.

  • image MissManda:
     IF treatments/meds don't automatically mean multiples!

    And sometimes they just happen!  ;)

  • image brynners:
    Thanks for the kind wishes ladies.  I told DH last night that I'd made an appointment, and he is not happy.  He basically said that if we can't get pg on our own, it wasn't meant to be.  I'm not okay with that answer.  E being an only child was never the plan.  I know things don't always go according to plans, but I'm not ready to give up that easily.  I'm hoping that after I see my OB I can talk to him a little more rationally about it.  I'm not sure where we go if he doesn't change his mind.  

    I think there are some people who think doing infertility stuff is messing with mother nature - well then, so is every other aspect of mother nature. When someone needs surgery, we dont say "well, if its meant to be, it will be - your liver will heal itself when its ready" -- this drives me INSANO!! My mom still has that attitude towards us, and when I told her about the twin that wasnt doing well, she was like "well, when you mess with mother nature......"  - stfu mom.

    Anyway, my  point of this is thats where you dh might be coming from. If we dont worry about it, then it will just happen. Blah blah blah. If that were the case, then I would be childless, and so would a bunch of other girls on the board.

    Can I grab your dh and just shake him around a little bit?

  • image tiff-n-nick:

    image brynners:
    Thanks for the kind wishes ladies.  I told DH last night that I'd made an appointment, and he is not happy.  He basically said that if we can't get pg on our own, it wasn't meant to be.  I'm not okay with that answer.  E being an only child was never the plan.  I know things don't always go according to plans, but I'm not ready to give up that easily.  I'm hoping that after I see my OB I can talk to him a little more rationally about it.  I'm not sure where we go if he doesn't change his mind.  

    I think there are some people who think doing infertility stuff is messing with mother nature - well then, so is every other aspect of mother nature. When someone needs surgery, we dont say "well, if its meant to be, it will be - your liver will heal itself when its ready" -- this drives me INSANO!! My mom still has that attitude towards us, and when I told her about the twin that wasnt doing well, she was like "well, when you mess with mother nature......"  - stfu mom.

    Anyway, my  point of this is thats where you dh might be coming from. If we dont worry about it, then it will just happen. Blah blah blah. If that were the case, then I would be childless, and so would a bunch of other girls on the board.

    Can I grab your dh and just shake him around a little bit?

    This is what he was thinking.  He kept saying that if there was nothing medically wrong, that we didn't need to mess with anything.  I tried explaining that if I'm not Oing, then there is something wrong.  He told me the next thing I would want to do is IVF.  I ended the conversation at that point.  It was ugly, I was crying and yelling, and he was not happy at all.  

    Thankfully, I was able to control my emotions and have a civilized conversation with him today.  I told him that my guess is that my body has not kicked in since going off birth control, and there are things they can do to make my body work, the doesn't involve something like IVF.  After a rational conversation today, he is on board with the dr. and seeing what is up.  I'm glad he sees it my way, otherwise my passive aggressive side was about to take over! ;)

  • Good luck!! Glad to hear your husband came around and listed to your concerns!
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  • image brynners:

    I just don't want kids 4+ years apart.  

    I don't know if there is a certain reason behind this, but my kids are 4.5 years apart, and it's been fantastic.  R was able to take care of himself while E was at home and brand new.  So I didn't feel like I had to sit him in front of the tv or something to be able to take care of the baby, and he has been so very helpful this first year with E.  He helps take care of her and is super proud and protective of her. 

    Regardless, I hope the doctor is able to figure something out for you.

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