Sex & Romance
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

My sex drive has been on a 7 month vacation... Help?

Seriously. Since our daughter has been born, my sex drive is MIA. There is no coaxing it out of hiding, no matter how hard my hubs or I try. Absolutely GONE! To the point where even smooching is something I have no physical desire to do. I am going absolutely nuts because I want to physically feel something, anything, for him. Mentally, I want him more than anything, but the signal isn't getting to my lady bits. Yes, I am still attracted to him, and he is crazy about me, as well as I'm happy with how I look after the pregnancy, so there's nothing obstructing me in the self-image department. I'm really not that exhausted, so I exed out that idea, no BC on my end so it's not that, I'm just out of ideas. Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be a problem...

I'm to the point where I have no idea what to do anymore. I want it, the hubs wants it, and I force myself to at least have sex and/or do favors for the hubs at least once a week to not punish him for my issues for too long, but it's just not the same for either of us. We've tried new things to try to spark something, we've tried taking it slow with tons of fore-play, we've tried just going at it, nothing works, NO physical feeling, which even makes forcing it super difficult.

I know it's putting a strain on our marriage, and I want to fix it. We (orignially) wanted to start TTC in about 6 months, but would love to have a REAL sex life prior to another pregnancy, so unless this problem can be solved real soon, another baby will have to be put on hold also, as our marriage is obviously #1.

 Any thoughts, ladies with similar problems, or suggestions? Please?

TIA!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Re: My sex drive has been on a 7 month vacation... Help?

  • I really want to offer you some advice, but when you say things like, "Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be an issue", it makes me hate you a little bit.

    I'm sorry you've lost that loving feeling... but you probably won't even get the reference. 

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/2hdbjac.jpg[/IMG]
    <a href="http://alterna-tickers.com"><img src="http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/1/1cpdsk3na.png" border="0" alt="AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers"></a>
  • image DaisyFull:

    I really want to offer you some advice, but when you say things like, "Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be an issue", it makes me hate you a little bit.

    I'm sorry you've lost that loving feeling... but you probably won't even get the reference. 

    I just chocked on my oreo.... HAHAHAHAH!

  • I know somewhat of what you are going through. My son is 9months old and everything was great sexually after he was born, however, for the past 2 months my libido seemed to quit working too - for no reason! Pretty much the exact same situation as you (I am 20)- I love my husband, am attracted to him, ect but it just quit. I felt so bad because we went from a few times a week to maybe once every 3 weeks which I know was hard for him. We tried EVERYTHING and it's now starting to fix itself after we stopped trying. I think that's what you should try. It could also be a sub concious issue like you're not feeling as connected to him as you did before? It's difficult being young and a new mother, maybe that's taking more of a toll on you than you think. Hope everything works out for you
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=c-section&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_csection.gif"></a>
    [url="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=breastfeeder&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"][img]http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_ebf.gif [/img][/url]
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=sahm&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_sahm.gif"></a><a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=toddler&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_toddler.gif"></a>
  • image DaisyFull:

    I really want to offer you some advice, but when you say things like, "Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be an issue", it makes me hate you a little bit.

    I'm sorry you've lost that loving feeling... but you probably won't even get the reference. 

    Nice, Daisy.  Real nice.  

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1342fa.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0" /></a>

    [url=http://lilypie.com][img]http://lb3f.lilypie.com/XyD2m4.png[/img][/url]
  • image DaisyFull:

    I really want to offer you some advice, but when you say things like, "Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be an issue", it makes me hate you a little bit.

    I'm sorry you've lost that loving feeling... but you probably won't even get the reference. 

    Full and complete medical checkup for you. You've just borne a child; not uncommon for your hormones to be out of flux and also get your thyroid checked. Not uncommon to develop thyroid problems during/right after pregnancy. gl.

  • image Hayley13190:
    I know somewhat of what you are going through. My son is 9months old and everything was great sexually after he was born, however, for the past 2 months my libido seemed to quit working too - for no reason! Pretty much the exact same situation as you (I am 20)- I love my husband, am attracted to him, ect but it just quit. I felt so bad because we went from a few times a week to maybe once every 3 weeks which I know was hard for him. We tried EVERYTHING and it's now starting to fix itself after we stopped trying. I think that's what you should try. It could also be a sub concious issue like you're not feeling as connected to him as you did before? It's difficult being young and a new mother, maybe that's taking more of a toll on you than you think. Hope everything works out for you

    Good to know I'm not alone on the issue. I tried "not trying" for the first 3-4 months of it, and that seemed to only make it worse. So that's when I started "trying" again, and it's not getting any better. I still feel very connected to him, but completey agree it could be a mental thing that I just haven't noticed. I'm glad things are working out better for you and your  hubs. Congrats on baby #2!

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • image TarponMonoxide:
    image DaisyFull:

    I really want to offer you some advice, but when you say things like, "Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be an issue", it makes me hate you a little bit.

    I'm sorry you've lost that loving feeling... but you probably won't even get the reference. 

    Full and complete medical checkup for you. You've just borne a child; not uncommon for your hormones to be out of flux and also get your thyroid checked. Not uncommon to develop thyroid problems during/right after pregnancy. gl.

    Thank you, I'll talk to my OB about it when I see him next week.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • image TarponMonoxide:
    image DaisyFull:

    I really want to offer you some advice, but when you say things like, "Plus, being only 21, this shouldn't be an issue", it makes me hate you a little bit.

    I'm sorry you've lost that loving feeling... but you probably won't even get the reference. 

    Full and complete medical checkup for you. You've just borne a child; not uncommon for your hormones to be out of flux and also get your thyroid checked. Not uncommon to develop thyroid problems during/right after pregnancy. gl.

    I think you quoted the wrong person. :D 

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/2hdbjac.jpg[/IMG]
    <a href="http://alterna-tickers.com"><img src="http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/1/1cpdsk3na.png" border="0" alt="AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers"></a>
  • If you're BF that can mess with your hormones.
    [IMG]http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b200/sleepingbeauty825/IMG_20121228_184759-002_zpse897488e-1_zps86901bde.jpg[/IMG]
    <a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb3m.lilypie.com/A3d0m6.png" width="200" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Third Birthday tickers" /></a><a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lb2m.lilypie.com/oMGJm6.png" width="200" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Second Birthday tickers" /></a>
  • I'm having the same issues since my hormones are out of wack from an oopherectomy. What's helped is lots and lots of foreplay and SLEEP. Sleep is a huge factor.. but I also agree w/ a previosu poster who suggested a full medical exan.
    Mimi to May Babies: William Gabriel Martin '07, Morgan Ana Terese '10
    [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/1z5lzrs.jpg[/IMG]
    [IMG]http://sedf.lilyslim.com/Npc2m8.png?4FFbS3Lm[/IMG]
  • Your body will produce prolactin to cause you to be able to breastfeed.  A side effect of prolactin is to reduce sex drive and suppress ovulation.  Evolutionarily, this will cause the mother to "settle down" (not try to get pregnant again) and focus on the newborn.  Once the infant is more independent and stops consuming breast milk, the prolactin level drops, the milk supply dries up and normal menses will resume.  

    Sometimes your prolactin level will remain high.  If you are no longer breastfeeding, you can talk to your doctor about medications that will stop prolactin production. 

  • DaisyFull & GreenNGold--your posts and signature pics are cracking me up!!
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards