Sex & Romance
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How do I ...

DH has been home for about 3 months from training and will be leaving again in January for more before deployment, and since he has been home we've gotten back into our 'normal' life, grocery shopping (which we love to do together) date nights, game nights with friends, and a sex life but, the sex life, its not as romantic / sensual as it used to be before he left. Dont get me wrong, the sex is great, but I am missing the romantic foreplay and passion that used to occur before sex, and now, I'm not sure how to get it back...

Any of you been through a similar situation, where the sex is still there but the romance isnt? How did you deal with it, what do you suggest?

Re: How do I ...

  • I think this is very difficult.    You did not say where he was deployed to, or to do what.  However, if he serves at teh 'sharp edge' then he had 6 months of life and death on a daily basis with much of the time being a live target.   This takes a massive toll on any mans inner feelings.   He probably had to get tough and purposely unfeeling very quickly.   Now that he is home in safetly with you it's probably beyond his ability to turn it back on.  


    You may be able to gently encourage him to open up and let his sensual mind be free, but don't be surprised if it also opens up other emotions that also will have to be fixed......


    .........Remember that, on the battlefield EVERY soldier is a casualty.

  • I can offer no advice as DH is not in the military and from what I understand from our friends who are enlisted they experience things no one can understand and those experiences do affect their lives in almost every relm.  I recommend you reaching out to military wives groups as they are the only one's who have similar situations.  GL to you!

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  • I was in a similar situation when my husband came home from his last deployment. The sex was still good but during the year away I suppose he had just forgotten that I needed foreplay. I sat him down and told him in the nicest way possible that I needed more from him. It took a little reminding but once he got it the sex was amazing! Good luck, I hope everything works out for you two.

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