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Why would she do that?

To make a long story short: My mother got abusive after my father died.  After my father died  I decided to leave at age seventeen. All  those years I have tried to fix this broken relationship but, it was  always just a one way street.  I still decided to invite my  mother to my wedding, during the ceremony and  during my wedding vows all she talked about about was how her husband and dogs died. Then during our wedding reception all she could do is complain. A week after we got married, my mother invited me to spend some time with my family and grandparents. I decided to go see my family and grandparents. During that visit my mother told me how my husband and I are going to get a divorce and its going to be bitter ( 8 days after we got married). She also told me how she should of taken families advice and should of stop contacting me a long time ago.  I decided to leave and help her out  and let her follow the families advice she had been given. That all happend Sept. 12.   Well today, October 31 she called from me from my old cell phone number that she still has  that I did not recognize. ( she has her own cell phone number) I do not get why she would trick me with a different telephone number? 

Re: Why would she do that?

  • You really need to proofread what you write.

    Who cares why your mom would trick you like that.  It sounds like she's a nasty old bat.  If you have no qualms about it just ignore her.  The moment you hear her voice on the phone just get off.

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  • Why do you keep giving this woman opportunities to hurt you?

    You know how she is so why do you keep expecting her to be something she's not? Accept her for who she is and limit your time around her.

  • Because it's Halloween!!

    TRICK or treat!!!

    Be sure to save that number in your cell phone and label it "MOM" so if she calls from that number again, you'll know to ignore it.

    Also, it's wedding vows. VOWS, not vowels.

     

  • Wedding vowels? A, E, I, O and U and sometimes Y?

    Suck at English? Where were you starting in first grade? Evidently not in class.

     

     

  • image marlies891:

    Please do not criticize  my grammer.  That is why I am in a English class and still learning. Thank you  :) p.s I suck at English.

    I'm sure you do realize this is a public forum and  since you are not a moderator or one of the Nest gods you can't really tell people what to do.  Anyways, if you are still learning English (as in you're an immigrant, right?) it doesn't excuse your inability to at least read over what you write to make sure it makes sense.  Also, people criticize your grammar because if it's difficult to read we cannot give you proper advice.  We're still trying to wrap our minds around what you actually wrote!

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  • image marlies891:

    Please do not criticize  my grammer.  That is why I am in a English class and still learning. Thank you  :) p.s I suck at English.

    I don't know about you, but I learned to write proper sentences and use words correctly in middle school.  So unless you're under the age of 13, the above is not an excuse.  If you are under 13, you're too young to be on a wedding website.  It's a lose-lose situation for you, I'm afraid.  Good luck with that. 

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  • It seems to me it doesn't matter why she did it; save the number, and don't answer the phone if you get another call from that number. 

  • image marlies891:

     I still decided to invite my  mother to my wedding, during the ceremony and  during my wedding vows all she talked about about was how her husband and dogs died.

     

     

    ..Wait... so while you and your husband were actually partaking in your wedding ceremony, your mom was yammering away about all this?  Who was she talking to? Did no one tell her to shut up?

     

    ETA: Okay, so I just viewed your wedding ceremony through the youtube video in your profile.  1) I couldn't hear your mother. 2) Your mother doesn't seem to be standing anywhere near you.  and 3) You seem to be falling over yourself with happiness... not someone distracted by someone talking about dead dogs.

  • Well ,this exlains why you felt the need to get married at such a young age.

    If you havent learned by now that this woman needs to be cut out of your life 100%, nothing we can say will get that through your head.

    You need therapy for oh so many reasons....please get some help.



  • So I watched the video of your wedding (posted in your bio)?Where is this blabbering mother that was talking during your vows??
  •  She is the one in the red  shirt.  You could not hear the conversation because it was  not filmed. The reason for that was  because as you could see the camera was on us during our vows.
  • My mother was talking to the guests about it during my vows.  She was not talking to me but the guests. And before you ask, No it is not on the video because the camera was on my husband and I t through out the most part of the filming.

  • image marlies891:

    My mother was talking to the guests about it during my vows.  She was not talking to me but the guests. And before you ask, No it is not on the video because the camera was on my husband and I t through out the most part of the filming.

    Yes, strange that the camera can capture audio from the 'altar', but not from the guests who are seemingly similar distance from it. And it doesn't seem like you're distracted during the ceremony - you look like a giddy schoolgirl. So I'm guessing another 'guest' told you about your mom's indiscretions after the fact to stir up drama? 

    Either way, if she causes this much trouble in your life, then you just need to limit your exposure to her. 

  • You really need to cut your mother out of your life, for real.

    Stop calling her, stop trying with her.  It will be very hard at first, but eventually you will be happy at how drama-free your life is.

    Develop relationships with your grandparents and extended family on your own.  You must have their names and addresses from the wedding.  Make plans to see them or call them without your mother present.  Don't talk about your mom while you are there.  Just smile and say "no, we haven't spoken in a while."  Don't give details or any explanation - - it's none of their business (even if they are related to both of you).  Reach out to your father's family, your uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents on that side. If you get along well with your husband's family, spend time with them, too!

    Instead of wasting your energy on someone who is abusive to you and doesn't value your relationship, spend energy and time cultivating friendships with people who care about you.  They don't have to be blood relatives to love and care about you!  Fill your life with people who support you, your H, and your marriage, instead of your mother, who wants to rip you down. 

    Your mom sounds bitter that she is alone, while you have found someone to share your life.  The best thing to do is ignore her.

  • Thank you!  My grandparents and other relatives want nothing to do with me until I divorce my husband.  And that won't happen at all.  But, I came to realization Sept. 12th that she and my whole entire family is not going to change at all that they are all stuck in their own way.  Before Sept. 12th I thought finally my mother is changing but nope her meaness repeated again Sept. 12.  If I knew that was her calling with my old cellphone number, I would of never picked it up. She purely tricked me.

    I am now leaving the past behind me and starting my new life.

    It just startled me that she did this stunt

  • image marlies891:
    My grandparents and other relatives want nothing to do with me until I divorce my husband.
    Wow - some supportive family you have. That sucks. :( Hopefully you & your H have a good relationship with his family!
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  • image festivegal2008:
    image marlies891:
    My grandparents and other relatives want nothing to do with me until I divorce my husband.
    Wow - some supportive family you have. That sucks. :( Hopefully you & your H have a good relationship with his family!

    Did you ever think that maybe there is a reason her ENTIRE family wants her to divorce her husband?  I've found in life that if a large group of people don't like someone in your life, there is usually a GOOD reason for it.

    image
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  • should've or should have, not should of.

    anyway-she's a cranky old woman it sounds like and likes everyone around her to be miserable too.

    she tricked you. ok. from the rest of your post it doesn't sound like she's anything near nice-so who cares why?

    if it were me i'd probably either have a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG talk with her or cut her out of my life.

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
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  • perhaps your whole family thought the wedding was a bad idea is because you're only 21? that would be reason enough for me....there must be SOME reason why everyone in your family thinks that way. it's either you or the guy....
    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • Well, my mother had 2 failed marriages and she has been in abusive relationships. And one guy she dated had redish hair and my husband has reddish blondish hair. So, she thinks he is going to abuse me because he looks like her old bf,  has the same hair color, and that is what red heads do abuse people.   He has never hurt me at all, always has been supportive towards what I want to do. When I ask him to do something or help me out he does it  without asking.

     

  • Your mother sounds like she treats you horribly.  I can't imagine why you would continue to have anything to do with her.

    From what you say, it sounds like she will likely never approve of anything you do, so quit trying to please her.  You're a married adult now, you don't need your mommy's stamp of approval for anything you do, so ignore her when she calls you, texts you, writes to you.  Expecting her to ever be any different than the way she has always treated you is wishful thinking, and will do nothing but make you miserable (and probably undermine your relationship with your husband, which I hope is a decent one).

  • Thank you for your advice. My husband and I have a great relationship he has stuck with me and my mother's craziness and never left my side. Most guys that are like 18 would just leave but he did not.
  • image marlies891:

     I do not get why she would trick me with a different telephone number? 

    Because she knew you would answer the phone and give her another chance to abuse you. You gotta quit doing that to yourself. 

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