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xp - desperately need thoughts and prayers

My brother has bipolar disorder (manic depressive, and hears voices etc) and has been struggling for a while going on and off his meds. My mom called me this evening - he tried to commit suicide. He lit himself on fire. They live in different states - she's on her way to the hospital now. I don't know how severely he's hurt, although she was able to speak to him on the phone earlier.

We've always been very close and I knew he wasn't doing well because he always stops communicating when he's having a hard time, and I hadn't heard from him in a long time...I think since before Will and Dash were born. He's been on my mind all week and I kept planning to call him but kept putting it off. I want so much to be with him right now but I can't.

Please please send him all of the thoughts and prayers and anything else you can think of. Please.

Re: xp - desperately need thoughts and prayers

  • Oh, honey, I'm so sorry!  Sending thoughts and prayers to both you and your brother.
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  • I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear this.

    I've been through a similar situation with my sister and it can feel horrible and gut-wrenching to be far away in a time of crisis.  Keep in touch with your mom and brother by phone as much as you can, and let them know that you're thinking of them.  Ask them to update you on his condition when they can; sometimes they don't want to "worry" you with things.  They don't realize that you're worrying either way!

    My sister is okay now and I hope very much that your brother will be, as well.  Don't beat yourself up too much about not calling him more often.  If he was going through a bad period without medication, there wouldn't have been anything magical you could say or do to "fix" it for him even if you had spoken to him every day.  I'm sure that he knows how much you love him.

    Sending TONS of T&Ps to you and your family.

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  • I'm so sorry Lisa!  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family. 
  • Oh my God.  Lisa, that is horrifying.  I am keeping you, your brother and your family in my thoughts and prayers.  Please keep us updated.
  • Oh my...Lisa. I'm so sorry to hear this! My t&p are with you and your family. Keep us updated. I hope that he is doing okay.
  • Thank you all so much - I just updated on the bump board, will post it here too. My mom just called from the hospital. He has burns to 45% of his body (mostly lower body and torso). They've put him in a medically induced coma (I don't know for how long) and he'll be in the hospital for a couple of months and will need at least 5 surgeries (and will be in recovery for probably the rest of his life). I feel so ovewhelmed right now. My heart is hurting so much.
  • Lisa, I am so sorry.  Many, many hugs to you. 
  • I'm so sad. That is horrible to imagine what he is going through. I wish mental illness was better understood. I wish our society had better treatment plans that would protect people like your brother. You and your family are in my prayers. I wish I could give you a big hug.
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  • Oh Lisa..........this is unimaginable.  I am so sorry.  I already said a little prayer for you and your family. 
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  • Sending many thoughts and prayers to your brother and family during this time. I work in the mental health field and recovery/treatment is so difficult. I obviously don't know your brother but know that there are many community based treatments available (at least in Minnesota) such as, case management and ARMHS, to help monitor and link individuals to in home services in a non-intrusive way. I hope that he is able to find some great resources and the help he needs while he is recovering.

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  • Oh no  Lisa, so sorry to hear this news. Sending loads of t & p's to you and your family. Hope everything will turn out ok. 

    {{{Hugs}}}

  • ((((HUGS)))) 

    Sending my thoughts and prayers to you and your family... 

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  • image ETweet:

    Sending many thoughts and prayers to your brother and family during this time. I work in the mental health field and recovery/treatment is so difficult. I obviously don't know your brother but know that there are many community based treatments available (at least in Minnesota) such as, case management and ARMHS, to help monitor and link individuals to in home services in a non-intrusive way. I hope that he is able to find some great resources and the help he needs while he is recovering.

    Do you know where I could find out if there is something similar in Oregon or Idaho (my mom lives in Idaho and I think she wants to take him back there when he leaves the hospital, although crazy as it sounds I'm not sure if that's the best idea)? Where would I look to find out?

  • Lisa, that's awful, I'm so sorry to hear it.  Sending thoughts and prayers to your family, esp your mum...
  • Oh, Lisa - my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.  Hugs.
  • I didn't realize that your family was here in the NW. I'm sure that there are a lot of resources around the area. Is it possible that your mom could chat with a clinical resource coordinator (social wrk type) that could direct them to the right places?
  • image S&D2HI:
    I didn't realize that your family was here in the NW. I'm sure that there are a lot of resources around the area. Is it possible that your mom could chat with a clinical resource coordinator (social wrk type) that could direct them to the right places?

    Possibly - though at this point it's probably the last thing on her mind. My brother lives in Oregon, but she lives in Idaho...I guess she could just ask hospital staff where to go to find out?

  • Yes, the social worker at the hospital would definately have the resources to link your brother to some more intensive mental health services once he is well enough to go home.
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  • To get case management services you would contact the mental health department of the county he lives in. The social worker at the hospital could actually do the referral for you and he could be assessed and complete the intake while in the hospital. This way he would be set up with services prior to discharge and they could assist in determining the plan for after discharge. Who knows... he may not even qualify for this but it can sound more intimidating than it really is.

    I just tried to google ARMHS (Adult Rehabilitative Mental Health Services) for some resources outside of MN and it might just be called that in MN. I am sure other states have similar programs but call it different things. Google ARMHS and learn a bit more about it. I am sure one of the social workers would know something like it.

    I would also recommend DBT (Dialectial Behavior Therapy). It's usually done in individual and group therapy and is great for individuals who self injur. This is something his psychiatrist, therapist, or social worker would be able to link him to. In a good DBT program your therapist/coach is on call 24/7. They are wonderful people who clearly have a passion for assisting in recovery.

    If you have any more questions feel free to PM me and I'll be more than happy to help out!

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  • lisa- my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family , that is horrible.

    my bro-in-law is bi-polar and had issues a few years back which sent him to a psych ward. He's so much better now, so things definitely can turn around...

     

  • ETweet thank you so much for the information - I'll probably chat to you some more about it when it gets closer to his release date so I can have information to pass on to my mom. I know he's been in counseling before, but clearly he's never been this low in the past.
  • I can't imagine what you and your family are going through right now. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers his way....I'm so sorry.
    andrea and ryan . june 2010 . maui.olowalu
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  • I am so sorry!!  I will definitely be keeping you and your family in my prayers!!
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