I went for my annual today. It is never easy to read or hear the words "infertile". Seeing them on paper just made it worse and more real. I know it doesn't mean I can't have children but I'm not naive to think it will just magically happen. I don't want to hear one my person say, "it'll happen in God's timing". I believe that but really, that's not what I want to hear.
I have a game plan now which is good. DH and I are on board as to when I'll start TTC. None of that lessens what I know my body is going to have to go through. My biggest fear is not being emotionally ready. I'm not sure I can deal with miscarriages and failed attempts month after month after month. Truth is - I'm terrified. I'm bitter. I'm angry.
Being a teacher and working with fertile women does not help matters. I am fortunate to have found some co-workers going through the same thing but I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse.
I don't know - so many things going on in my head. There was no point to this post but self pity.
PCOS and Endo
Ovarian drilling and endo removed 1/3/12
BFP - 3/27/12
Beta's 11, 14, 57, 637, 2800
Sono showed no baby and teeny tiny sac. Waiting to M/C naturally.