Entertaining Ideas
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IL GTG?

I have a hard time interacting with my MIL and SIL with DH around because they always seem to want to talk to only him.  I'd like to at least TRY to establish a relationship with them, so I was considering having a "Girl's Day" at our house with my sisters and mom and MIL and SIL.  Any suggestions on  how I should structure this?  What I could include?  Any thoughts are appreciated!

Thanks!

Re: IL GTG?

  • I wonder if something like this would feel forced & awkward.  Have you tried doing activities with your ILs, so there's something to spark conversation and distract from silence?  Do you all share any interests?  My MIL and I both share a love of interior design, so we can toodle through antique shops together for hours.
  • how long have you been married?  it was a little awkward for me in the beginning too but things just naturally fell into place as the years went by and we are totally comfortable and do things without my DH... is it something that maybe time can fix.  I don't know if I would do a get together just to overcome that stuation, I would just let it happen on its own.
  • We've been married a little over a year, but lived together for 2 years prior to that.  The problem I feel like is that I don't know either of them very well because whenever I see them, my husband is there and they're so excited to see him, I kinda just stay in the background.  He has a really good relationship with my family and I'd like the same with his, but it's hard for me when he's around... I just thought maybe doing something with just us would make that easier.  Bad idea?
  • I think that your heart is in the right place.  However, as much as you want a relationship w/ your IL's they might not want the same from you.  It is hard to say with out knowing more about your relationship. 

    I do agree w/ Tar Heels.  I would pick something that you both have in common and start building the relationship out of that. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • This type of GTG has the potential to be lovely or a disaster.  I'd start by building your relationship with your MIL.  Once that gets better, start working the rest of the family in.  Honestly, you should be prepared to not have a lovey-dovey relationship with her--you don't really know how she sees the MIL-DIL dynamic.

    You say you go off into the background.  Well, act like a bit of an anthropologist.  What do they talk about?  What is their sense of humor?  Are they sensitive or brash?  What topics really get them going?  My ILs make fun of each other and have a lot of inside jokes.  At first I thought it was weird but then I saw it was out of love and they were just having fun.  Once I got comfortable with it, a well-placed reminder of something funny or embarrassing that happened pulled me into the joke.  Do some research--if your FIL likes a certain football team, don't pretend to love them too but say "Hey, I saw your quarterback got really hurt, what happened?"  Maybe MIL likes cooking--say "Hey, I've been looking for a recipe for whatever, do you know of a good one?"  You need to pipe up to be included.

  • If you already feel like you have an "iffy" relationship with them, the GTG that you're thinking about will be awkward as hell - you and your mom and sisters in one corner talking, MIL and SIL in another corner talking. Why not just ask MIL and SIL out for a coffee, or a short shopping trip? Inviting them to do something with you and your family will only result in the same dynamic that you have when their family (your DH) is around.
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