Going to try to make this short. Background: I don't particularly like my SIL (husband's brother's wife). She has not done anything particularly nasty to me, but gives unsolicited "advice" (in the vein of "how to make your relationship as awesome as mine"), makes comments about how my husband and I lived together before marriage, etc. Whatever, live and let live, just be cordial when I have to see her and ignore her the rest of the time. That's what I would LIKE to do, but she sends me incessant emails trying to set up times to get together (just the two of us or all four of us). I'm not trying to be a jerk, but I really just have no inclination to spend more time with her than I need to and don't really understand what motivates her to constantly bombard me, when I feel like I've made it clear that I'm not really into being buddies.
So, this year was a milestone birthday for me and she and husband's brother (although I'm not sure he even knew, haha) got me a gift. Until this year, they have never acknowledged my birthday, which is on the same days as BIL's. This is totally fine with me--I only mention it because it makes me think that the gift was because it was a "milestone" birthday. Her birthday is coming up and I'm unsure now whether we are obligated to buy her a gift. I'm happy to get her one on her milestone birthday as well (which is not this year). It would also be different if it was a small token gift, but she tends to go a bit overboard and spend near $75 for gifts (birthdays, xmas, etc.).
I'm sure I sound like a horrible a$$, but I'm really just not that wild about spending almost $100 on someone that I don't particularly care for, and institute some kind of tradition where we start doing this every year. Frankly, I'm at an age where I really don't need anything, and I'd really rather them keep their money for themselves. Is it completely flameworthy of me to only buy her a gift for "milestone" birthdays, or do I really need to get her one this year since she got me one? My husband seems to think we need to get her one since she got me one, but I really would prefer not to add one more person to the "birthday present every year" list.
Sorry this is such a lame question, I realize how stupid it is as I type it. TIA.