We have two separate issues with our families. We are very lucky to live close to family that is wonderful and wants to help a lot with our two-month-old baby. The only problem is that they are getting overbearing and it's getting frustrating. Between having 4 aunts, 4 grandparents, and multiple great aunts and uncles, certain family members are voicing complaints that "they aren't getting enough time with the baby." Right now we're still trying to figure everything out on our own and I don't have the time or energy to try to schedule 12+ times a week for relatives to see the baby. I don't want to sound ungrateful, spoiled or like I don't appreciate their help or the fact that our child is very loved, but at some point I feel like people need to understand that this is our family, and we too like to spend time with the baby. Even if I asked one person a day to come over and watch the baby while I napped, that would only give them once every two weeks which I think would still register as "not enough time." Also, most of them work which means they want to come over after work - the same time that DH is home and wants to see the baby after being at work all day. Any suggestions from anyone who has dealt with the same thing? I love my family and in a few months I may be begging someone to come help, but right now, we're bonding with the baby. We don't want to alienate or hurt anyone because I know their hearts are in the right place.
The second issue is one aunt (DH's) who is married to a man that DH and I do not trust around the baby. Call it parents' intution, but there is no way I will ever let this man be alone around my babies, now or later. She has offered to watch the baby at her house, which at this point it's just easier to have her at our house, but as the baby gets older, we're not exactly sure how to tell her that doesn't work for us. Her husband doesn't listen to her, he sees no problem with smoking around kids, etc and we just don't want our kids around him without one of us there to supervise (truly, we both try to avoid him as much as we can). We're not sure how to handle this without some major fallout from his side of the family.
There are some major blessings to living close to family and I'm excited that our child already has so many people who love her, but it definitely comes with some drawbacks.