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So my mom wants to get a gun

but she's not mentally stable enough for it.  She really is the type that would end up getting herself killed.  Or, she'd wave it around to show that she's tough (she's not) and would get herself arrested.  Or, she'd tell everyone on the earth she has it and her apartment would get broken in and it would get stolen.

Mom makes very bad decisions, especially when she's in a hurry and has to make a decision quickly.  She wants to be able to open her door and confront any possible burglars rather than stay in her room and call the police.  I really think that an intruder would just walk up, grab it out of her hands, and kill her with it. 

I understand that my mom is getting older and is concerned about her safety, but her owning a gun is really a bad idea due to her mental health issues.  Lately, she has gotten very confrontational with strangers, like telling off someone in a parking lot because she doesn't like the way they parked, and things like that.  It's like she's itching for trouble, but she really isn't.  She's just lost her common sense as she's gotten older.

What can I do?

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Re: So my mom wants to get a gun

  • Talk to her doctor. I don't think talking to her will do you any good, and unfortunately, unless she's dangerous or a convicted felon, she's well within her rights to run out and purchase herself a small arsenal if she wants.

    Maybe her doctor will have some advice, or be able to talk some sense into her.

  • Suggest she get a home security system instead of a gun.
    .
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker

    can of mace?

    and, if all else fails, talk to her about why long-guns are better choices for novices than hand-guns--at least she won't be taking it to the parking lot w/ her that way.  9and they really are a better choice--easier to aim/use.  etc)

  • She's in an apartment so a home security system is out.   But honestly, she doesn't need to have any gun.  It will give her a false sense of security and she'll go outside and confront anybody making noise in the parking lot.  She'll only end up getting hurt with a gun.  And honestly, the way she panics, she'll never get to it anyway if she ever did need it.
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  • Actually, a home security system is not out of the question.  I had one in my condo, so the system itself is building friendly. 

    The only issue would be the cost of the system itself and having to pay to move the electronics if/when she moves.  The contract itself SHOULD move with her.

    And if it ends up being cost prohibitive, there are other safety products out there, that will increase the strenght of her home security - to include door and window alarms, stronger locks, etc.

    As for the gun, it depends on the law regarding gun permits in HER state.  Most require a mental health check.  Contact your local police station and take it from there.

    But if you do go that route, be prepared for some backlash from her. 

    [IMG]http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu52/Iluminespics/IMG_4759.jpg[/IMG]
  • Maybe suggest a BB gun or something else that looks like a real gun?
  • She couldn't afford a security system.  She could dig up enough for the initial amount, but not on a monthly basis.   A BB gun?  No, she wants a big, heavy handgun.  To make it worse, my brother is encouraging her because he likes guns. He's good at convincing people to buy the things he likes so he can play with theirs and not have to spend his own money.

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  • From what you described, she won't have any problem getting a gun.

    Thanks to the NRA.

    ... okay, to be helpful, maybe she won't follow-through with the permits to buy? Or if she's REALLY serious, maybe she'd be better off with a shotgun.  I know it seems worse, but if she did have a break-in, she would be better defended (easier to hit her mark or scare the be-jesus out of an intruder) and it would be big and cumbersome for a parking lot confrontation. 

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • well, depending on the state she lives in she most likely has to fill out a paper when buying a gun that asks her if she's crazy or not (more or less), but it's unlikely that SHE thinks she's losing it, so that probably won't stop her. Would she beleive you if you just told her Obama signed a national gun ban?
  • I'm usually a lurker, but I can see where your concern is so I thought I might throw out a few suggestions....

    If she has been actually dx'ed with mental problems, then depending on your state laws she may not be able to even get a gun.

    If she hasn't been dx'ed, why not take her to a shooting range and let her try shooting a gun. There are many handguns that will actually hurt your hands when shot. Especially small female hands. The larger the caliber and the smaller the gun the more discomfort it will cause. It feels like holding onto a bucking horse. I'm not trying to say hurt your mother but maybe the discomfort (in a controlled situation) will help her see that really isn't what she wants.

     If she is still insistent, do you think a gun safety class would benefit her at all?

     

    Photobucket
  • image Jess & Drew:

    I'm usually a lurker, but I can see where your concern is so I thought I might throw out a few suggestions....

    If she has been actually dx'ed with mental problems, then depending on your state laws she may not be able to even get a gun.

    If she hasn't been dx'ed, why not take her to a shooting range and let her try shooting a gun. There are many handguns that will actually hurt your hands when shot. Especially small female hands. The larger the caliber and the smaller the gun the more discomfort it will cause. It feels like holding onto a bucking horse. I'm not trying to say hurt your mother but maybe the discomfort (in a controlled situation) will help her see that really isn't what she wants.

     If she is still insistent, do you think a gun safety class would benefit her at all?

     

    I like this idea. Let her shoot a .45 and see if she thinks she can handle it. Even a .38 with .38-P rounds can kick my butt and I'm a pretty strong 5'9" 25 year old. I can't imagine being able to hold one of those at an older age.

    I am all for people being able to protect themselves, but if she's not mentally stable then that worries me.

    I also agree with pp who suggested a shot gun, as you have a wider spray and don't have to aim as much as with a handgun. And you're really not going to want to shoot one of those unless your life is absolutely, positively in danger.

    Anniversary BabyFruit Ticker
  • What state does your mom live in? I know that in NC, when you apply for a gun permit, they require that you put down TWO people as references. If you think she is unstable, i would encourage her to put you down as a reference if she applies. Then explain to the sheriff's office when they call you that you do not recommend her being approved for a gun permit, and tell them why.
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