My parents and I used to be so close.
I used to look up to my mother, as she reminded me of Jackie O- always proper, polite, graceful, and beautiful. She was even an interior decorator. She has always been extremely smart, running a very successful business for my father, and her family was her pride and joy. Everybody who knew her, looked up to her.
My father is, and always has been a hard working, loving man. We are still so close. After coming in contact with my dad for even a minute, perfect strangers adore him. It's just him. He is scared for her and with outpatient therapy being unsuccessful and inpatient being out of the question, he feels the need to care for her. He says she has the mentality of a child, and even if he left her, she could not survive on her own. Meanwhile, the sadness builds for him, and frustration for me.
Seeking something for his own happiness, my dad clings to the affluent way of life that he is accustomed to- yet in a financial struggle. The result is living way beyond their means, with a bankruptcy filing. Also as a result of her selfishness and his depression, the house is always filthy and a disaster... they won't even let me clean it up.
It seems I can't do anything to help. Reasoning with Mom is impossible. Then Dad says there is nothing we can do but love her and be supportive. Meanwhile, his way of life is equally destructive.
I'm at a total loss and I became so distressed that it even lead to my own depression so deep that I neglected my entire life and lost it all- my great career, my great partner and my great life. It has taken me 5 years to rebuild. Luckily, I met the great man who became my H and we have worked very hard over the past year to get our life on track together. My career, however, still has not recovered completely.
If they had been this dysfunctional my whole life, I would be well adjusted to it, but this is new to our family. I don't want to be insensitive, but I can't possibly let it ruin my life too. Is that selfish of me? What can I possibly do?