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In-laws birthdays and mother's and father's day

I wasn't quite sure what to do for my in-laws, so I copped out and signed my name to my husband's card. I love them, but we are not particularly close and calling them on the phone is sometimes awkward. Am I expected to call or email them separately from my husband? We usually meet for a birthday and Mother's/Father's day brunch and I wait until we see them to convey my wishes. But, there's a part of me that feels like I'm not doing enough. Any suggestions for next year, ladies?

Re: In-laws birthdays and mother's and father's day

  • If you are comfortable, you can just call and wish them a happy birthday. It doesn't have to be a long conversation. A simple hello, how are you, happy birthday, we'll see you soon, should suffice. I'm not really close to my in-law's either, but we see them often and MIL calls me on my birthday so I do the same.

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Advice"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt112106.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • In the end, I think it should be what you are comfortable in doing. 

    I am not close to my ILs at all.  However, I do give a gift to my MIL for her birthday, and when I see her (which is not often), I hand it to her.  She does the same for my birthday.  For the FIL, my husband will buy the gift and put all of our names on it.  I do not call either of them on their birthdays.  My H is fine with this and has been for many years. What does your DH suggest?   

  • Well, honestly, the situation varies from marriage to marriage.  It depends on how close you are with those family members.  For me, I'm pretty close with my husband's sister, so I usually try to make a big deal about her birthday.  This year I even orchestrated a family luncheon since the rest of the family failed to make plans and left her feeling a little sad.

    For my MIL and FIL though, I usually tell my husband to pass along my wishes in his phone call, and send them a friendly note on facebook.  This works just fine, and honestly it's more than they ever do for my birthday etcetera.  That's also another good indication: my husband's family doesn't do anything for my birthday, so I know they won't be too upset if I don't go out of my way to celebrate them.

    Of course I want to be kind and pass along my best wishes, but I don't need to make my own phone call.

    For in-laws, we want our families to see us as a unit.  When things come from me, they are also from my husband and vice versa.

    So tip 1) gague how close you are

    Tip 2) respond in a manner they understand

    Tip 3) let your husband handle matters with the in-laws when possible

    Hope this helps!!  :]

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    Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. -Ephesians 4:29
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