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Weird???

So my DH and I are both young and recently married (5 months). We aren't wanting to have kids for a few years, therefore I am still on BC like I have been for the past 4 years. I pretty much never miss a pill and if I forget I take it within a few hours than the normal time. So my question is.... is it just completely weird that my DH insists that we still use a condom as well?I tell him we don't need too but he thinks we should. Extra cautious I guess? Does anyone else out there have a DH like this? Any suggestions on how to wean him off this idea....  

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Re: Weird???

  • Well, to me, it sounds like he REALLY REALLY wants to not have a baby right now.  The condom might be something that makes him feel absolutely certain that you will not conceive.  I think it as being in control issue for him.  Like a sucurity blanket, maybe.  He wants to make sure it pregnancy will not happen.  

    Weaning off the condom.... I think he will have to do it on his own.  He has to feel comfortable enough.  He isn't comfortable leaving it just to BC pills.  I mean they are pretty darn effective, but on rare occasions do fail. 

     

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  • We were super cautious this way for a long time.  You might show him some information on fertility and monthly guides.  My sister has this great book but I forget the name. 
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  • My FI is the same way and has been since we started dating. but my mother conceived all three of her children on bcp and same happened with his mother so I just got used to it. Its a good idea if your serious about not wanting a baby. I don't see a problem with it right now,but I am also no longer taking my bcp for a while so it was a good fall back plan. that we were already use to doing.
  • We do exactly the same.  That we are both responsible, the burden isn't on any one person and each person can have peace of mind.  It's not like I would skip pills to purposefully get "accidentally" pregnant, or he would do anything of the sort either but it's nice to never have to worry about late periods (I skip mine so I only have it 3-4x a year with no doubts in between).  We joke that if we did conceive it would be the second coming of Christ it would be that miraculous.  (just a light-hearted joke, not trying to offend anyone, promise!) 
  • lechw2lechw2 member
    1000 Comments Fifth Anniversary
    Well I am glad to hear that we aren't the only ones that do this. We both agree that if I did get pregnant we would be very excited and welcome a baby with open arms. However, we are still young (24) but been out of college for 2 years and have secure jobs. We just have plans for ourselves (me getting my Master's, us-building a house) before we have a child. I know plans like this don't always work out though and would be fine with either.  
    **TTC bestie/auntie to ShanRich0810's LO Started TTC-1/2011; Lap, appendectomy & Dx'd w/endo-9/2/2011; 1/2012-Met with RE, lap & hysterscopy-1/23, severe endo excised & polyp removed, BFP#1-5/13/12, m-m/c confirmed 6/6/12, D&C 6/13/12, IUI#1-BFN, Endo back, bcp to shrink cysts, IVF-10/11-ER, 8R, & 7M, ICSI-100%, 10/16-5dt, 2 blasts, 10/25-BFP!!
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  • When DH and I were dating we used BCPs and condoms, but once we were married, we cut out the condoms.  I think it is just a security thing, as mentioned by PPs.  
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  • My husband is the name he calls other people...a whackidoo.  For the first four months in our marriage my husband felt the need to wear condoms all the time. I told him I don't want him to wear them and I want to take birth control but he insisted.  He was really afraid of me taking birth control and threatened that he'd still wear the condoms while I was taking the birth control.

    My new gyno told me birth control will help regulate my periods so my iron levels won't be so low and it will help us later when we're trying to get pregnant so my hubby feels a little better now about me taking bc. 

    We haven't really used condoms in a few weeks.  The way I got him away from them is by trying to initiate sex in an area of the house that's kind of far away from our nightstand. It helped.  Now he doesn't even reach for them anymore.  I hated that he was using them before because I felt like we're married and we shouldn't have to use them. 

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  • My husband and I still use condoms along with bc just because we are very cautious to not have children right now. We don't use both 100% of the time but we try to. We are just not ready for a child yet so we use both. But I know about 5 years ago when we first got together he would insist on using them because they reduced his sensitivity and made him last a long time. That way he could be sure to please me. Idk if that may have anything to do with it or he may just be trying to be careful to not get pregnant.
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  • We just had our first baby a few months ago and are in no hurry to provide her a sibling. I am breastfeeding and on the "mini pill". DH likes using condoms as well. I asked why. He said it's nice having a little extra protection, but he also had other reasons. He said it was just a little thing that changed things up and it also made him last longer/provided different sensations. Have you just asked him what the deal is?
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  • We used birth control and condoms before we were married but now we just use birth control. We've made it a year with no babies! We figure if we do get pregnant its not that big of a deal since we're married now. You could show him stats on how effective the pill is, maybe that would ease his fears. 

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  • My husband had similar worries.  After I explained how bc works to him, he was much more comfortable with the idea and ditched the condoms.  Hope that helps :)
  • Been on the pill all five years that I have been with my husband and we only used condoms for a week when we first started to be with eachother and we have been fine
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