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HELP! Fighting with the husband!

My husband and I used to argue about everything and thinks calmed down, but know we're are going at it again. Its always over stupid stuff like the house cleaning or cutting the grass, etc...

Well every time we argue he never takes the blame and says that its always my fault. On top of that when he's mad at me he always makes plans to go out as much as possible with out me and just treats me lake crap until hes finally over it. But in the other hand I'm not allowed to be mad at him at all and if i ask him where he's going or who's going with he always tells me that its not to worriy about it and that I dont need to know!

 Please help! I think I have the right to know where he's going and with whom when he's leaving me and our son at home all the time.

Re: HELP! Fighting with the husband!

  • imoanimoan member
    10000 Comments Eighth Anniversary
    Sounds like you married a child.
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    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • Make an appointment with a marriage counselor.  If he refuses to go with you, make an appointment with a lawyer.  Seriously.
  • Your H is a manipulative jerk.

    Do you want the next 50 years of your life to be exactly like this?

    You could ask him to go to counseling; if he refuses to go, that's a pretty telling sign.

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • 1st time poster?  Eh, I'm leaning towards MUD unless she bothers to come back and talk to us some more....
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • image imoan:
    Sounds like you married a child.

     

    THIS

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  • image leeanne9808:

    My husband and I used to argue about everything and thinks calmed down, but know we're are going at it again.

    Grammar Fail. 

    But I agree with PPs in that it sounds like a) you married a child, and b) counseling might help.

  • It sounds like you don't like each other very much. Did you argue a lot before you got married?
  • Make an appointment with a marriage counselor (for the both of you) because even if we tell you the best advice, you both need skills on how to effectively communicate and the marriage counselor can help you with that.  Your H is being down-right disrespectful.  If a spouse is purposely trying to be mean to the other spouse, then there are major issues.  He might still love you in his mind, but actions speak louder than words and he needs to get straightened out.  Does he love you or doesn't he?  (rhetorical question)

  • image Karen2905:

    Grammar Fail. 

    I'll have to sit this one out; I don't even understand the OP.

  • image spiffyabigail:

    image Karen2905:

    Grammar Fail. 

    I'll have to sit this one out; I don't even understand the OP.

    Translation:  Her H is an ass.  If she's telling the truth.

  • Really - you don't need to know where he's going??? And you THINK you have a right to know where's he's going. Well yeah!  Honestly, sounds like your husband is out having rendezvous with someone else after picking arguments with you.
  • image MrsMammay:
    Make an appointment with a marriage counselor.  If he refuses to go with you, make an appointment with a lawyer.  Seriously.

    Yep.  This.  You should not spend your life like this. 

    Blog: Not to be Koi

    Sara, Friend?
    image
    glove slap. I don't take crap.
  • I can totally relate to some of the things you are complaining about, mainly the fighting over stupid stuff and everything being your fault. To me it is very fustrating because I ask myself why are we fighting over this, it is petty. One person just needs to conceed and move on, but why is it so difficult? It sounds as though your H is an emotional person and doesn't know how to control his emotions, mine is the same why. The behavior is manipulative and it pisses me off. He might say things when he is angry but I KNOW that he doesn't mean them, do you klnow thins? It took me sometime to get to this point. I am not condoning the behavior but at the end of the day for me this NOT behavior worthy of divorce. I know my H loves me and he is not a cheater and doesn't physically abuse me so I am able to deal with any other behavior. I am not perfect and I don't expect him to be.  We are newlyweds as well and there has definitely been an adjustment period and it is still going on and we live together for 1.5 years before we got married. Some behaviors have changed since we got married 7 months ago, good and bad. There are good times and bad times and I believe you just have to roll with the punches. I do believe you have the right to know where he is going.How long is he gone when he leaves? It is just a cool off time or is he gone for a while?
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  • I think you both need to learn how to communicate and effectively work through issues. IMO, you shouldn't be arguing all the time about little things. Doing that can bring a lot of stress into your home. Are all of your little issues worth constantly arguing over? It seems like, when he goes out, he's just escaping an aggravating environment, which isn't good but neither is constantly arguing about little things. I think working on communicating better will help your relationship. Good luck.
  •     Somehow, I get the feeling that were not hearing the WHOLE STORY!

        What else is wrong(the underlieing story) Borring sexlife-money problems-Ect ect!

        Are there things in your lifestyle that mabe could be changed to make everyone happier?

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