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Is this tacky?

My sister is getting married this year & I'm her co-MOH.  Most of the bridesmaids are young (college aged, 22 at the most) and their idea of a party is a keg or a night at a bar, not sitting around eating finger sandwiches & punch.   I want to do a shower for her but traditional etiquette says that the bride's immediate family shouldn't host a shower.  I've found some modern etiquette guides that say it's ok.

So, is it tacky or not?  Would you be shocked if you were invited to a shower the bride's older sister was hosting?  Or would you only care if you were 80 years old?


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Re: Is this tacky?

  • Personally, I wouldn't think twice about it, but I'm not one that's known for adhering to "traditional" etiquette. I actually think I've been invited to showers thrown by a sister of the bride. Obviously it didn't horrify me to the point that I bothered to remember it, lol.

    ETA: I would definitely check with the other co-MOH to make sure you're not stepping on any toes and that she didn't already have something planned.

  • I didn't hear this old rule about family not hosting the shower till after I was married.... my mom and aunt hosted mine. Personally I think this "rule" is silly, so I'd go for it and coordinate plans with the other co-MOH.
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  • I had a man of honor and my older sister was my only other attendant.  She hosted my shower and my other sisters and mom helped.  I don't think it's tacky at all.

    By the way, I was invited to a bachelorette party a few weeks ago and the average age was 14 years younger than me.  Um, thank you but ... no.  So, I know what you mean about the age gap.


  • Nope go for it.  In the last wedding I was in the bride's sister (also the MOH) hosted at her house and we (the other BMs) chipped in and helped plan.  That was a little strange though b/c the bride actually made (I helped) and mailed her own invitations (ie: ghost writing sorta).  For my cousin's wedding a few years ago her mom threw the shower.
  • I wouldn't necessarily look at the family side of it exclusively - what are the responsibilities of the MOH in re: to a shower?

    Honestly - unless you're inviting Emily Post, screw the rules and do what makes your sister happy. It's her wedding, not Emily's.

  • My older sister threw a couples shower for us and she was also MOH in our wedding.  My vote: Not tacky!  Very, very thoughtful, actually.  Throw it and have fun!
  • I agree with PP's.  I say go for it.  I don't think its tacky at all!  Happy planning!

  • Phew!  And yes, screw Emily Post!!  I told the others that I'd worry about the shower & they could worry about the bachelorette party.  My style is more afternoon tea & frilly stuff, not a night of bars & adult toys.  Besides, my sister & I would be mortified to have our mom at a sex_toy party.  Someone has to do something to involve the older people & the little itty bitty ones!
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  • Not tacky at all. Go for it.
  • I wouldn't raise an eye at all that you were hosting one. Honestly, it wouldn't even cross my mind. Throw her a nice shower. 
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  • imageMoesten:
    I wouldn't raise an eye at all that you were hosting one. Honestly, it wouldn't even cross my mind. Throw her a nice shower. 

    I was thinking the exact same thing. 

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  • I hosted a shower for my little sister when she got married last year.  If it was tacky, so be it.  We had fun!
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  • imageMegs&Nick:
    I hosted a shower for my little sister when she got married last year.  If it was tacky, so be it.  We had fun!


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  • My shower was hosted by my MOH and my other bridesmaids which included my sisters. My mother and my mother-in-law also hosted it as well. I personally do not think it's tacky at all and would go ahead with it if I was was in your position.
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  • I'm not an etiquette follower, either.  I must've been super tacky b/c my MOH (my younger sister), my SIL, and my mother all hosted mine.  I would def check w/ the other MOH in your situation and make sure what her plans are, but I'd say its fair game personally.
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  • I'm the older sister and threw my sister her shower.  I don't hink anyone actually knows that rule.

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  • My mom and aunt threw my shower bc my bridesmaids live all over the state and have small apartments. We had a blast. No one said a thing about it. I say go ahead and through it if it's ok with the other bridesmaids.
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