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I wonder if anyone has been in a similar situation and what they've done.

Recently a close friend has been going through troubles with his girlfriend.  We're a very close group of friends and it has come to light that it may be due to drug use on his part.  Both of them make very good money and money has never been an object but they are now two month's behind on their rent, bouncing checks, haven't paid a motorcycle pmt. in 2 years.  They both lost weight and he is super skinny now (not huge to begin with) which could be accredited to drugs.  To top it off, her brother was a drug dealer and kicked out of his parent's house so he lived with our friends for months and him and the brother were always together, we wonder if this is what precipitated it.  Also, recently was one of our friend's bachelor party and apparantly he was asking for drugs casualy then.

I know this is all assumptions, and when I first heard they were breaking up I was shocked and the thought of drugs never crossed my mind.  But the more we put it together I think it may be an option.  He's an absolute great guy, but is very influencible and further sometimes curious/stupid so I don't think this is out of the question.

I guess my question is, does one of us intervene?  He doesn't have any family except for his mother who is terminally ill and this would devastate her.  I don't think we could go to the gf as they're a fiercly private couple (more so her) and I'm not sure she would divulge, even at the cost of him (I know that's wrong).  But how do we say something to him if we're wrong?  On the otherhand, I am completely ok with risking it rather than something worse happen and wish we had.  Has anyone had a similar situation and how did you intervene?

 Thank you so much for reading this.

Re: Intervention??

  • #1.  You are making major assumptions.

    #2.  If you approached him on the subject, he is going to deny it, even if this is all true.

    #3.  Your best bet is to just let him know you are there for him if he needs to talk, regarding the break up, or anything else.

  • There is absolutely no way an "intervention" would go well in this scenario.

    You can talk to him about how he is feeling since the relationship ended, but other than that MYOB here.

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • I think for an intervention to serve a purpose you have to know what your intervening on. It seems like you're assuming your friend is doing drugs based on rumors.

    This seems like a bad idea right now. 

  • it sounds cheesy but you might call one of those "if you or anyone you know is doing drugs..." hotlines, they would at least be able to tell you what resources you have (rehab centers, couseling, etc) before you stage this intervention, also they could give you details on more specific signs of drug use. good luck, I hope it works out, you're a good friend for caring at all, some people would just look the other way.
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