Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Book rec on how to deal with In-Law boundaries/marital issues??

I'm having a really hard time with the expectations and demands of my MIL and I know this is more common than not, so I'm hoping someone out there has a book recommendation that talks about boundaries, expectations, DH's role dealing with his Mother, etc. This issue has gotten so much worse now that we have DD and it has the potential to ruin my marriage so I'd like to address it right away. Thanks for any ideas.

 

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Re: Book rec on how to deal with In-Law boundaries/marital issues??

  • I read, and loved, Toxic In-Laws. You can find it on Amazon for pretty cheap if you buy it used. It helped me understand a little bit about why my ILs are they way they are, how my H reacts to them and why, and what I can do to keep my sanity and slowly break the cycle. I hope it helps!
  • image MKESweetie:
    I read, and loved, Toxic In-Laws. You can find it on Amazon for pretty cheap if you buy it used. It helped me understand a little bit about why my ILs are they way they are, how my H reacts to them and why, and what I can do to keep my sanity and slowly break the cycle. I hope it helps!

    Great thanks, I'll check it out.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • What role is your DH taking right now?
    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • if you don't mind christian-based stuff there's a book actually called Boundaries by Henry Cloud and...someone else. I read Boundaries in Marriage and I thought it had some solid advice in it even though i don't normally go for the christian stuff, so you can give it a try.
  •  DH's role dealing with his Mother, etc.

    This stood out. You likely have a DH problem, not an IL problem.

     His role is to stand by you, not with his parents. And if he can't do that....welcome to the rest of your life taking a waaaay back seat to his mommy.

    Better lay down the law on this one. And if he doesn't like that, your son can go home to live with his mother.

  • Sue_sueSue_sue member
    5 Love Its

    Toxic Inlaws is a great book; as is Toxic Parents. The Dance Of Anger is also a very good book.

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • Thanks for all the responses. I have a DH problem and I'm very likely headed for counseling but I'd like to start by educating myself first.  
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • image mrs.starbucks:
    if you don't mind christian-based stuff there's a book actually called Boundaries by Henry Cloud and...someone else. I read Boundaries in Marriage and I thought it had some solid advice in it even though i don't normally go for the christian stuff, so you can give it a try.

     I agree with this suggestion.  (John Townsend is the 2nd author.)  It does have several off-shoots such as "Boundaries in Marriage," "Boundaries with Children," etc., but just start with the basic "Boundaries" one.  

    I've recommended it to several people, and always get positive feedback about it from the ones who actually read it.  It's fairly basic, easy reading, but a good place to start.   

    When people are the most unlovable is usually when they need it the most.
    Steps on My Spiritual Journey
  • image paula4596:

    image mrs.starbucks:
    if you don't mind christian-based stuff there's a book actually called Boundaries by Henry Cloud and...someone else. I read Boundaries in Marriage and I thought it had some solid advice in it even though i don't normally go for the christian stuff, so you can give it a try.

     I agree with this suggestion.  (John Townsend is the 2nd author.)  It does have several off-shoots such as "Boundaries in Marriage," "Boundaries with Children," etc., but just start with the basic "Boundaries" one.  

    I've recommended it to several people, and always get positive feedback about it from the ones who actually read it.  It's fairly basic, easy reading, but a good place to start.   

    ditto, this book is great.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards