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DH hates that I'm on Zoloft... ruining our marriage... HELP

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Re: DH hates that I'm on Zoloft... ruining our marriage... HELP

  • image the_tina2003:

    I don't think he believes in it period.

    He's verbally abusive when he wants to get his way.

    So why do you need this jerk?

     

     

  • This man is a jerk.  What kind of husband doesn't want to see his wife healthy and strong?  Oh, right.  An abusive jackhole.  

    Get out of this. There's no cure for 'abusive jackhole.'  Just like there's no cure for stupid.  I too am a fighter, but I still ended up royally screwed up from an abusive relationship in college.  Thank God I left.  Abusers don't suddenly stop abusing because the object of their 'affection'/control fixation is strong.  If anything, it pisses them off and they redouble their efforts.

    Also, while you're in this superwoman/life improvement mode (stay in that, by the way.  It's awesome) get thee to therapy, if anything to make certain that meds continue to work.

    Kick his azz out. 

  • what an awesome guy you married.

    why do you stay?

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • Let me say that when i said he was verbally abusive- I feel that it's to the extent that he criticizes alot... he doesn't call me idiot, or swear at me. We both argue, day to day things, but never to the extent of swearing, throwing things, never that bad. Perhaps I explained it poorly before- I apologize for that. Last night, one of my best friends called him- she too is on antidepressants- and talked to him, explained that he needs to make more time for me in our relationship, and to cut me some slack with the antidepressants and how they work great for her. I spoke with my husband on the phone yesterday- after not talking to him for 2 days, and he apologized, and said that if it's working for me he'll support me, and that he overreacted. He really is a sweet guy... these posts make him sound like a douche bag... yesterday when i posted i was really upset. When he says things that upset me, we talk it out- and 98% of the time, he's open and we work it out. It's a continual growth for both of us- working on our communication- just like any marriage/ relationship. Oh, I was in the hospital because I developed a skin infection with MRSA.
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker

    Holy 180 batman.

    You're saying he was making unfounded accusations (you're not yourself) and belittling you for weeks, refusing to 'get' why this is a problem, making demands about your medical care and insisting your choices were wering blah blah blah..

    and a come-to-Jesus talk w/ a friend = magic bullet and he's all better?

    Hm.

    Get thee to a shrink.  A real shrink.  Because, I am side-eyeing your gyno for giving you these drugs...I've been given psych. drugs by PCPs and the lie.  So has the Mr.  it's NOT A GOOD IDEA.  They don't have the proper traiining, they're not checking for comorbidity, and they often assume that improvement = diagnosis.  And it doesn't work that way.

    It also means that all you've got are the drugs...no other tools, no coping mechanisms, nothing.  At least for a while, anyone who needs psych. drugs needs to see a licensed counselor of some sort. 

    ANd in this case?  both of you should see said counselor.

  • Wow!  So now he's this great guy and you were just overreacting?

    I'm not sure what I believe at this point.  You are either in denial or crazy to the point of making things up.  Either way, you need therapy, badly.  The Zoloft alone will not make things better.

  • Have you tried taking him to the doctor with you?  It sounds as if he is ignorant to the condition of depression as well as the treatments.  Has he had or heard of a bad experience before of someone taking antidepressants or maybe drugs in general? 
  • While I am opposed to taking medications for depression (among other things) and wonder about his side of this story, I don't know why you'd be married to someone who verbally abuses you--that is unacceptable, no matter the cause. Get him to counseling or get out--abuse only gets worse and will not help your depression, Zoloft or not.
  • I agree with everything everyone else said - especially the counseling.

    This relationship doesn't sound healthy - he sounds like he's just appeasing you because you left for your parents. You really need to have someone objective to talk to and give you some tools to get your life on a better track. As someone who has been taking antidepressants for a few months, medication on it's own isn't going to help you for long.

    Please start seeing someone in conjunction with the medication. 

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