Sorry this is a little long but I don't know what do do about my cousin
who is getting married and now asking me for help, here is a little back
She's getting married in September to the father of her two young sons. We were close growing up but have drifted apart especially since she moved in with him at got pregnant very young. They don't have a clean home, they have a dog, two cats and the apartment smells of urine! About a year after the first baby she got pregnant again! Neither of them at that point had steady jobs, at this point he's actually been at the same job for over a year it's at a coffee shop but better than nothing. She's almost done her maternity leave but will be going back to work sooner because staying at home with the two boys is hard work, no sh*t!
When she first got pregnant she told everyone it was an accident but I know for a fact it wasn't. When she got pregnant the second time she said it was an accident, that they were using protection, I don't believe it! I was pissed that she wasn't being responsible so we had a talk and I thought that she realised that they need to grow up and be responsible for their kids sake.
Whats done is done but now out of the blue they're getting married in September, a month after another relative of ours who have been planning it longer. I'm pissed that they would plan it so soon after because our family isn't rich and it will be a financial burden. What makes me upset the most is they're not paying for the wedding themselves. My aunt is giving them over 6000$ (from a line of credit she has because she can't afford it) because they chose an expensive venue they could not afford, his mom is giving 2000$ and they're putting in 2000$ of their own money, but don't think they actually saved up! Of course not! They're using money they got from the government for their kids! I'm so disgusted and stupid because I'm still hopeful they'll wake up one day and be responsible but I don't think that will ever happen because they never really have to struggle because everybody always helps them!
When they got pregnant the first time they got all the clothes they needed from my aunt and my aunt's sister who was done having kids gave them a crib, stroller and a lot more! When they got the money from the government they first thing they did was buy a new flat screen tv, dvd's and a lot more sh*t they don't need! They have a feeling of entitlement, it's maddening! I've deleted her from my facebook because I can't take one more post saying what dvd they just bought or the concert ticket she just bought that cost 100$!
The problem is my family is very non confrontational and don't say anything although they feel the same way but are too nice and still try to help her. I'm guilty of being non confrontational in the past until I finally had a talk with her but that was over a year ago. I DONT want to go to this wedding but if I don't go it will cause huge drama but I just don't support what they're doing. I'm fine with them getting married, that's 100% their choice but I'm not ok with them spending all this money on a wedding. I talked to my aunt about it and asked why she was helping them so much but she said she wanted to, originally she was going to give them 4000$ but my cousin wanted a more expensive place so she figured whats another 2000$!? STUPID! Maybe it's my mistake to think that people should pay for their own weddings because I did.
On top of me not wanting to go I get an email from her yesterday saying.........Do you think you could help me with this goddamn wedding planning? I don't have anything other than my dress and venue, and I only have 5 months left. Any help would be very appreciated!
WTF!? GODDAMN WEDDING PLANNING!? I'm so pissed and just don't want to deal with this anymore. I could be politically correct and just say I'm busy with renovations at my house but I want to be honest and just tell her that she can plan her own goddamn wedding! They are so ungrateful, I found that comment so disrespectful!
I'm sick of keeping my mouth shut, I think they need a good dose of
reality but I don't think she will talk to me again. Why is it when it comes to family it seems like you can't be honest and have to be nice?
So after all this, sorry I know it's long :P I just want to know what should I do, keep the peace or be honest?