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GodsRainbow** RE: Post on S&R

Hey...Those girls can be a little rough over there. To say the least.
My dh is a mechanic too. He is currently snoring up against my leg on the couch.
Usually when he refuses to get up and go to bed I'll get pissy right back with him. I dont understand why they have to sleep on the couch instead of the bed anyway.
Can you just start waking him up right when you go to bed and say I'm going to bed are you going to sleep on the couch all night again? Usually when I do that and he hears my tone of voice he'll know ok I better get up now or risk my back/neck hurting tomorrow.
I know its frustrating. DH does the same dang thing to me. Thats why I've learned to just get pissy right back with him. But I've also lived with him for 8 years.

Re: GodsRainbow** RE: Post on S&R

  • Sorry to butt in...

    but, yeah those girls over there are rough sometimes... never, ever, ever (even if that's how you really feel) say that you want to put DH on the couch.  They will flame you big time for that!

    anyways, sometime DH falls asleep on the couch occasionally.  He is also pretty grumpy when he does this.  I know that he would rather sleep in the bed, so I just tell him that I'm going to bed so unless he wants to sleep on the couch, he needs to come with me.  Say his name several times until he kinda looks at you so you know he is understanding of what you said.  Sometimes if I know he's super tired, I suggest bed when he first starts nodding off.  He will usually get into bed without a fight before he is in a deep sleep.

    Even if he does not come to bed, don't take it personally.  He does not know what he is saying to you and would never say that to you when he is awake.  Let it roll off your back and go about your business.  HTH
  • Heather, i read the post on S&R...  here is my advice.  you do not need to lock him out of the bedroom.  it is his room too. 

    there are LOTS of adjustments to living together.   you two never lived together before you got married and so you are dealing with these things now. 

    first, you need to talk to him about this, not after you have tried to wake him up.  Some people are just very grumpy when they are woken up.  He needs to know how it makes your feel that he doesnt come to bed and he needs to know how he reacts... he might be half asleep when he is getting so mad.

    second...you need to remember that for some people, adjusting to sleeping with someone is a BIG DEAL.  it is possible that he is not getting good sleep at night with you but he doesnt want to tell you.  there are actually studies that prove that guys dont get as good a night sleep when they sleep in the same bed as someone.  Women on the other hand, sleep better with somone than alone. Again, since ya'll didnt live together before you got married, this is very new for ya'll. 

    the key to marriage is talking about problems... not locking people out of the bedroom or playing games or both being rude to each other (i dont think getting an attitude back is always the right way to go).  

    If he is so tired at night when he comes home, maybe after dinner, ya'll should go lay in the bed and watch TV instead of laying on the couch... then you can cuddle up and fall asleep together.

    you HAVE to communicate.  Marriage is not easy... living together with a guy for the first time is NOT EASY.  it takes work, lots of talking and compromising...

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  • I didn't even know this post was here lol...I haven't checked back on this board in a while..
    I was kidding when I mentioned the part about locking him out, I would never do that and I think that's what caused the uproar on my post haha
    We talked about it after it happened the first time and since then he has fallen asleep on the couch again but I just leave him there after I suggest going to bed.
    His problem is he has been staying at work all day and all night lately working on either his car or making extra money after everyone else leaves, and when he gets home even though he's tired he doesn't want to go to bed because he isn't ready yet.  I understand that, but he always falls asleep within a few minutes of sitting on the couch watching tv. 
    We don't have a tv in our bedroom, but that may be what we do soon if this stays the same because he would fall asleep in the bed instead of on the couch then.
    Thank you ladies for your input!

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