Well now that all of the hoopla is over, I wanted to share something that happened during the week of our wedding. I am struggling with how to deal with this and would love some input from you ladies as it is a very difficult situation.
I had money stolen from me and my Mom two days before my wedding about $400 total. We believe that one of my BMs took it. We went to a male strip show for my Bachelorette Party (classy I know) and then out to a bar in a limo. I was pretty much sober by the time we got to my Mom's house after the bar, and my Mom didn't drink at all and noticed all of her money in her wallet when she paid for a coke at the bar. I woke up the next morning and realized the $200 I had in my wallet was gone, I never carry that much cash but it is difficult for me to get to a bank in the US that doesn't charge me an arm and a leg to take out money from my Canadian account. Once I announced to everyone I had money stolen they all checked their wallets. My Mom was the only other person that had her money taken as well about $200 which she had because she was holding my sister's cash in her wallet too.
Based on the events from the night before we know it was taken at my house, all of the girls stayed there after the Bachelorette Party and would have easy access to both mine and my Mom's purses. Since my Grandmother had my Mom's wallet at the strip show and my Mom noticed she still had cash at the bar we know it wasn't taken then.
One of my BMs, the one I probably know the least, had been really shady all week. She owed my Mom money for her dress (still hadn't paid and they came in, in Dec), she owed my BMs money for the Bachelorette limo and she owed money from my shower gift from February. She said all week she had to go to an ATM to get cash but whenever anyone offered to take her she said no. My Mom suspected her right away and didn't tell me this until after the wedding, she just let me think it was taken at the strip show. She ended up going to the ATM with my Mom and my Mom said she took forever to take cash out and only took out $20 but miraculously had enough money to pay everyone. I know she has been struggling financially, as her and her FI are terrible with money. She was also really rude and a "debbie-downer" all week.
After the wedding I discussed the details with my Mom, DH, my sister and MOH as well as some of the other BMs. We all came to the same conclusion that based on all of the facts and this BM's behavior that we are 99% sure she took the money. This makes me sick to think about, not that I lost cash big whoop it sucks but oh well, more so that one of my BMs would steal from me and my Mother the day before my wedding. Especially someone who I have stood by through all of her relationship drama and I thought was my best friend out here.
I don't know how to handle things now. DH wants us to slowly break ties with the BM but that is going to be difficult. Her FI is one of DH's teammates and the world of football wives is very tight-nit. I cannot avoid her without her knowing something is up and DH doesnt want to call her out on it as he is afraid she would make my life hell as she is very loud, aggressive and outspoken. I am also supposed to be her BM next April (this is the crazy one I have mentioned before). I have been avoiding her for now, but it makes me nauseous to think of seeing in her person and having to pretend all is well. How would you handle this?