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What do you & DH talk about?

Me and my DH have been married 1.5 years, living together for 4 years and dating for 10 years...I love our relationship, I still get giddy whenever he gets home from work etc and still get those butterflies...however we never really have much to talk about since we know everything about each other for the most part.   I don't really have any hobbies or anything to talk about, he's into guns/hunting/fishing and I am always trying to learn about it and join him for these activities, but I just can't absorb them since I'm not that into them.   When we go out to dinner or are just chillin at home its usually in silence for the most part, we joke and wrestle around etc and have fun together, but long conversations don't happen all that often.  His work is pretty stressful so sometimes he doesn't want to talk about it since he wants to leave work at work etc. rather than re-hash everything...and my days are pretty boring so it doesn't give much to talk about.  

I assume we're not the only ones in this boat, and he doesn't mind it since we have a good time together even if we're not chit-chatting the whole time, but I was just wondering what others find to talk about, maybe I can get some ideas.

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Re: What do you & DH talk about?

  • Sounds like you two have a great relationship base, now just need to build some convo depth.... Have you thought about finding a hobby that you both are new to?  Perhaps find something that the two of you haven't done before, that will interest the both of you.   It may spark more talk.  Hey, it may even spark more then that...

     Hope the thought helps!

  • Fi and I discuss politics, current events, the books we are reading, future plans like travel or home improvement, the upcoming schedule, something from the tv show we are watching, situations at work, etc.   Since he works long hours, I try to focus our talk time to get the maximum amount of important things covered in a short amount of time. 

  • We don't talk a lot. Before I got laid off, we would talk about stuff at my office and he would talk about stuff he did during the day, he owns his own business. But now that I'm home, I have a general idea of what he's doing during the day. 

    We watch some TV together and have short conversations on that. Maybe conversation starts based on some emails I might have gotten from people we know.

    What gets us talking more is going someplace. Spending the day in the city or going out of town on a day trip.

    But we are both very independent people, probably introverted to an extent. It would surprise me that we would talk to any great extent. I think personality type has a lot to do with it.

  • srgwsrgw member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We talk about everything but there are times we don't talk a lot while hanging out. It can be okay for that to happen. What I've found that's fun is asking weird off the wall questions. Today I asked my H if he would keep in contact with my family if I died young. It sparked a pretty good IM convo (cause he's at work)... but also since my family is very close-nit and his isn't family is something we're constantly compromising on.
  • Work is probably the bulk of what we talk about.  Somtimes we talk about future plans or our finances, things like that.  I talk about the books that I read and he talks about sports.  We listen to each others interests.

    We play 20 questions a lot together and we have so much fun with that that it sparks conversations several days later about something that we remembered.


    TTC since Sept '10

    IVF #1: Sept '11 (7R, 0F, Transfer cancelled)

    IVF #2: Nov '11 (8R, 3F, 3 8-cell embryos transfered)...BFN

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    Betas: 2/14 - 25, 2/16 - 79, 2/20 - 116, 2/22 - 63 C/P

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  • We talk about everything and nothing!  Anything goes- topics can range from standard like current events, movies/books, music, family, etc. to the really random.  We both just speak our minds and we LOVE to debate so anything that will get the conversational ball rolling works for us.  Nothing is off limits.

    We've been together 7 years so I understand comfortable silence too. 

    Can you start a new hobby together?

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  •  Sometimes we just don't have a lot to talk about during dinner and in these cases we often end up resorting to telling jokes or imitating famous people.  A lot of the times we'll plan out our weekends or talk about a new movie coming out or a show that we heard about that we want to see. 

    We listen to a lot of talk radio though and that gives a lot to talk about.  A lot of conversations are about what we heard on the radio.  "so what do you think about what they were talking about around the whole "Blah blah controversy?...I think..."


  • My FI and I talk about tons of stuff, but we've only been together about 5 months.

    Maybe in 10 years the conversation will run dry.



  • We go through quiet phases too. Mostly it doesn't bother me but sometimes I miss the old days being up til all hours talking about life. During one of our quiet phases I ended up buying "The Book of Questions". It got lots of interesting conversations started because most of the questions don't have yes or no answers - they really make you think. Not only did we learn about each other but we learned about ourselves too!

    Now we are facing life changes - selling our house, maybe starting a family - so we have lots to talk about at the moment. But I think periods of quiet are ok in any long term relationship. Its just part of the flow.

    Suggestion - google conversation starters or something like that and see what you find =)

  • Sometimes if we spend ALOT of time together for a few consecutive days, we run out of things to say. Otherwise, we talk about our day/work, future plans (vacations are huge, a house, jobs, etc), current events, things we read about, saw on tv, etc. 

     I always have things to talk about when I'm reading a new book.  I don't read alot of news but I do read the front pages of some of the news websites especially since DH always knows about current events.  We love to try new activities so trying even one new thing will spark lots of conversation.  We started watching a few new TV shows together (like American Idol) so it has become a hobby of ours in a way to catch up and discuss our fav. contestants. 


  • We have a 2 year old & 4 year old, and I'm a stay at home mom, so they are a frequent topic of conversation.  Obviously I'm biased, but they are funny as he!!, so they give us lots to talk and laugh about.

    We also have lots in common- we're both obsessed with football and the UFC, so we spend lots of time talking sports.  We just bought our house a year ago & watch lots of HGTV, so we talk about projects around the house- both the realistic and dream projects.

    We are reality tv junkies and discuss who will win Idol and Dancing with the Stars, how interesting the locations are on Amazing Race etc.

    I humor him by listening to him talk about his fishtanks and video games, and he humors me by listening to me discuss shopping & celebrity gossip.

    My mom is BSC and provides endless topics of conversation, and his parents are a lot more sane, but have those funny old people quirks.

  • We talk about work (we're both teachers), trends in education, politics, current events, our day, triathlon (we're both triathletes), ideas for our house or vacations or whatever, our families.


  • We tend to talk about our jobs a lot since they take up much of our life right now.  We also talk about our dogs, for us we treat them like their our children, they pretty much are our everything right now.  DH isn't a big talker though, many times he rather just listen to me talk. 
  • everything.  Books, politics, silly stuff, work, things that grind our gears LOL!
  • We talk about politics, current events, family, life, work, school, random stuff, people, and travel plans. Honestly, anything we think comes out of our mouths.

    [PM me for the link to my blog]
    <a href="" title="Baby Names"><img src="" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a><a href=""><img src="" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Premature Baby tickers" /></a>
  • Convo is overrated. If you are happy with your relationship and so is your H, that's all that matters. 

  • Discover a new hobby together- kayak or camping or something you BOTH would enjoy.

    Dh and I talk about everything- politics, the dogs, our volunteer work, money, our future plans, travels, movies, our families, goals (personal and work), exercise, babies, books.... We don't usually run out of things to talk about! But sometimes we do and the silence is fine- we're comfortable with that.  Sounds like you have a great marriage and that silence can be comfortable for you too.


  • Random things are the best. My H and i have been together for almost 7 years and i am still learning things about him. Ask random questions and it can start some pretty interesting conversations. They don't have to be questions about your day. For example, the other day i spotted a dad and his son flying a kite. I asked my H if he'd ever flown a kite. We had a 30 min conversation from that one question. Keep your mind open and don't limit the conversation to what you feel it should consist of.
  • We talk about what's going on.  When we're driving in the car, we talk about what we see, what's on the radio, what the other drivers are doing, etc.  Sometimes I make up funny new lyrics to songs based on whatever pops into my head, and Fi laughs about it. 

    We talk about our families, and the sorts of things that are going on with them.  We talk about our dog, about when we're going to take the pop-up camper out next, about books or tv shows, about who makes the better narrator for Planet Earth (British vs. American).  We talk about money, about the sorts of things for which we're saving up, about whether we're ready to TTC, about whether we want to modify the house, about whether it would be a good idea to buy a cat, etc.  We talk about politics and whether the entire country has gone of the deep end, and whether people are idiots, and on and on and on and on...

    The point here is we don't have to talk about any one thing for any real length of time.  We just let the conversation flow.  We've been together for over five years, so we know each other pretty darn well.  We very rarely have those "I didn't know that about you" moments.  But, because we know each other so well, and because we're so comfortable with each other, we can say just about anything to each other.  And, at the end of the day, events are simply nicer together than they would be alone.

  • We talk about politics, news, music, books, our hobbies, people, etc.  Listen to NPR it will give you tons of random crap to talk about.
  • FI and I are like this too.. I text him sometimes while he is at work, I let him know what I'm doing online, that I found this or that.. Right now mostly about the wedding.
    We try to talk about this and that sorta things.. What we think about so and so and their situation, or like "IF that were US or ME.." type thing.
    We also enjoy playing online games together.. MYTOWN on facebook and this hasn't been for a while but the pocker on myspace. I was never much of a poker player and we use to "cheat" he'd help me. I'd tell him what I had and he'd tell me to fold or not or he knew he should fold. IT was fun (while it lasted).
    It is hard to go a long period of time without silence and I absolutly HATE  it!

    Talk randomly, read the police log in your local newspaper and talk about whats going on in town. It starts something up.
    I wish you the best. Hope you both figure something out soon..
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  • well you will have alot to talk about once the baby is born... but for now talk to him about the baby, your future, and stuff thats in the news or around town... me and my dh talk alot...
    ME=25 DH=27 DH retrograde ejaculation, ME bicorniute uterus and septate, septate removed in sept 2012 RE said strait to IVF, round 1= BFP

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  • You guys remind me alot of DH and I. One thing we do is people watch. That always gets us talking. You can people watch anywhere, but one of the most inconspicuous places is in the mall. We will get pretzels, sit at a table, and just talk about all the different kinds of people we see. And occasionally, we run into someone we know.
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