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Does this sound sketchy?

DH and I are mutual friends with another married couple.  The H (I'll call him J) worked with DH on the same crew (in the Air Force).  Both DH and J got reassigned, but are on the same squadron so they run into each other.  J has voluntarily signed up for an assignment with the Special Forces and will be moving to VA before the end of the year.  DH found out thru the squadron, who are already planning for after J leaves.  J did not tell DH about the new assignment, but the whole shop knows about it.

I went out with J's wife (I'll call her M) a week or so ago.  I had talked to her about DH's new assignment in San Antonio.  I figured she would talk about J's assignment to VA, but she never brings it up.  Then she tells me that J told her he's working on securing several assignments after his re-enlistment and had a possibility of returning to her hometown.  She even said she's been looking for jobs.  It sounded to me like J hasn't told her about the assignment and is giving her a glimmer of hope that she's going home.  I'm thinking that he'll tell her everything else fell thru and they're going to VA at the last minute. 

I'm so not going to say anythign bc it's none of my business, but it gave me such a weird feeling.  I really hope that I'm wrong and she just didn't want to talk about the VA thing, but if she really doesn't know, that's pretty effed up.  We haven't seen them at all since then and DH says that J is getting all weird at work.  It's giving us the feeling that J's avoiding us so we don't spill the beans to M.  Of course neither of us are going to say anything to them, but if we're right, that's kind of a huge thing to not tell your wife about from the beginning. 

I just had to vent.  The whole thing's giving me bad vibes.     

Re: Does this sound sketchy?

  • It sounds like this guy is going to be sleeping on the couch for a while if he's giving a false sense of hope. Are there counseling services available. Maybe DH can nudge J in that direction to help them cope with the situation. 


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  • Hmm, that is weird!
    My favorite place on earth: The Amargosa Valley.
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