Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Just want to get this out...ugh

So, I'm a year after my H and I broke up and it was a clean break.....our divorce was completely legal on Jan 15. I have been living on my own in a new home since May. I feel like my life has moved on, but my heart is still just sad that this has "happened" in my life.

I know, intellectually, that I am better off without my ex and I actually don't yearn for him per se, but I yearn for company. I definitely am feeling lonely these days. I was dating someone for a few months, but that recently ended and I know that was the right choice, we just weren't a perfect match. Anyway, I guess the loneliness is catching up with me.

I am turning 30 at the end of the month and I think I am just sad that my life isn't where I thought it would be. I don't want to need to be with someone. I want to revel in my independence and I am a fairly busy person, always burning the candle at both ends, filling my days up with stuff to do. I feel like my life is full, but not necessarily conducive to meeting someone. AND, at the same time, I don't want my life to be about meeting someone--I want to be content and full without someone and I guess getting to that point has some growing pains to it.

Just felt like getting that out and maybe since some of you have been through divorce, you might understand because all of my friends IRL are married and definitely can't really get into my shoes. Yes, I see someone for therapy, but I was just having a low night tonight....

 

Re: Just want to get this out...ugh

  • I'm sorry you're having a rough night :( Your life may not be where you thought it would be, but I really doubt anyones life is where they thought it would be at certain ages, divorce or not.

    You got divorced for a reason, and I bet there were times during your married life when you wished nothing more than to be alone so that you could learn about yourself and gain some independence. I would think about those times and how far you have come since getting a divorce.

    I would also work on surrounding yourself with friends and family. There is a difference between filling your life full of stuff (hobbies, activities and items) and people. Do you have any pets?

    [IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/33vlx6a.jpg[/IMG]
  • image Cuardraro:

    I'm sorry you're having a rough night :( Your life may not be where you thought it would be, but I really doubt anyone's life is where they thought it would be at certain ages, divorce or not.

    I can't "ditto" this enough.  

    And just because you're 30 doesn't mean your life is over.  Heck, I only got married at 31!

     

    [URL=http://alterna-tickers.com][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/f/fr7ha85jz.png[/IMG][/URL]
  • Sunday nights are the worst aren't they?  I'm feeling the exact same way tonight.  I've been on my own since the beginning of October and I'm finally reaching that point where it would be nice to have someone to hug and cuddle at the end of the day.  For so long all my energy was focused on healing - but I've done my mourning and have reached a point of acceptance.  I don't love him anymore (honestly, probably haven't for a while) and I don't miss him.  I don't hate him either.  I feel nothing for him.  The papers are signed but I'm in that limbo stage while I wait for the judicial system to do its thing. 

    I turned 30 a few weeks ago and it was bittersweet.  I also pictured myself happily married with kids by now.  Now I'm back at square one and it seems the only men I attract are in their 50s and creeeeeeeeeeepy.  I told my mom last night that I'm already discouraged.  I don't want to feel like I need somebody either, but when you know what you want out of life, you want that life to start as soon as possible.  A bit of a play on the famous line from When Harry Met Sally there. :)

    So, if it helps, know that there's someone out there in cyberspace who knows what you're going through. 

    This is my siggy.
  • image BowiesInSpace:

    Sunday nights are the worst aren't they?  I'm feeling the exact same way tonight.  I've been on my own since the beginning of October and I'm finally reaching that point where it would be nice to have someone to hug and cuddle at the end of the day.  For so long all my energy was focused on healing - but I've done my mourning and have reached a point of acceptance.  I don't love him anymore (honestly, probably haven't for a while) and I don't miss him.  I don't hate him either.  I feel nothing for him.  The papers are signed but I'm in that limbo stage while I wait for the judicial system to do its thing. 

    I turned 30 a few weeks ago and it was bittersweet.  I also pictured myself happily married with kids by now.  Now I'm back at square one and it seems the only men I attract are in their 50s and creeeeeeeeeeepy.  I told my mom last night that I'm already discouraged.  I don't want to feel like I need somebody either, but when you know what you want out of life, you want that life to start as soon as possible.  A bit of a play on the famous line from When Harry Met Sally there. :)

    So, if it helps, know that there's someone out there in cyberspace who knows what you're going through. 

     

    Thanks! Yes, Sunday afternoons/nights are the worst. Thanks for understanding. 

  • Oh, I totally get this Sunday night thing.  I don't miss my ex, but I definitely miss having someone to make a good dinner for a chill out with, prepping for the week.  Tonight I'm coping with mint chocolate chip ice cream and season 5 of LOST.  Hang in there, darlin. 
  • image c1455y14dy:
    Oh, I totally get this Sunday night thing.  I don't miss my ex, but I definitely miss having someone to make a good dinner for a chill out with, prepping for the week.  Tonight I'm coping with mint chocolate chip ice cream and season 5 of LOST.  Hang in there, darlin. 

    Awesome! I graded papers at Panera bread and then came home to fix dinner for the doggy and 2 kitties. Now I've been wasting away online while watching Des. Housewives and Brothers & Sisters.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards