September 2008 Weddings
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Unequal Treatment

Oh my gosh I am beyond annoyed right now.

 My SIL just posted on FB about what my FIL is giving her for her birthday.  He's taking her to see the new Harry Potter thing in Orlando.

Which is awesome and yay her.  But you know what he got Dustin for his last birthday?  A card that said Happy Birthday.

 I don't get it.  I come from a family where my parents try to treat my brother and me equally.  And this happens all the time.  

 I just feel bad for Dustin.  I wish his dad would stop overlooking him.  I know it hurts him and, in turn, it hurts me too.

Re: Unequal Treatment

  • Ugh, I'm sorry, this post sounds so snotty.

     I'm just sad for Dustin.  SIL is constantly being given different treated - taken on trips, given money, had things paid for, etc.  This has been happening since before Dustin and I even met.  

     I just feel sad for him.  Sometimes I feel like my parents care more about Dustin than his own dad does.  And that's pretty sad.

  • I totally get what you're saying. DH is the oldest of 4...it's him, 2 years, BIL, 2 years, SIL and then 9 years, BIL.  Anyways, the 2 just behind him get everything handed to him.  They've each been purchased cars...SIL is on her 3rd..she's 19, BIL is on his 2nd. When we lived in TX (where the ILs live) DH and I always drove my car because his didn't have AC and always had something wrong with it. They constantly said they were going to buy him a new car...and nothing. He sold that car before we moved to NY, and when we finally got a new car we bought it and I have a car payment.

    They also made all this hoopla about wanting to buy us a fence for the backyard. Asked how much it'd cost and all...Told them it'd be roughly $4,000.  Which they said was fine, and no problem. They were going to do this for our Christmas gift. Instead they sent us a $500 Home Depot gift card.

    I know I sound spoiled/selfish...but it's just, if you're going to say you're going to do something, then do it!  DH sees that his siblings are treated differently but doesn't let it show that it bothers him. Which I know it does. His mom and Grandma have talked about how DH got the short end of the stick...and told him that! And then their response was basically "oh well".

    In my house I was the only child. But my BFF/MOH stayed with us for like 6 months (over Christmas) and my Mom bought her equal gifts to mine. Now she buys equal for DH.

    Anyways, long story short...I get where you're coming from. :)

  • Ugh, I'm glad I'm not the only one.

     I hate it.  Because it really doesn't feel like my place to be mad.  But I know deep down it makes Dustin sad.  And I hate seeing him feel that way.

     Yes, I will fully admit that my parents are super helpful with me.  But they are they same with my brother.  I never have to wonder if things are equal between us because I know they always have been.

     I just wish FIL knew what a great son he has and that he's missing out.  I get that he spoils SIL because her mom died when she was young and she was a daughter without a mother - but Dustin's mom died too.  Just because he was a little older and a boy doesn't make it different.

  • Yea it's really tough. It's part of the reason why I dislike my MIL so much...however she doesn't know this is the reason. I just want DH to be appreciated like his siblings...treated equally. They really just take advantage of him which makes me sad.
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