I introduced two friends of mine to each other, and now they're almost engaged. Almost meaning that I happen to know he's in the process of designing/purchasing the ring, and that it'll be a complete (but *very* welcome surprise.) She and I met in College; he's my neighbor. She moved down to Cincinnati after graduating to be with him, and then found a dream job in Salt Lake City. She left for Salt Lake City in August, and he's planning on moving out there in November. She is extremely extroverted, and has significant difficulties with planning and thinking through consequences. She has gotten caught up in the moment enough that she's ended up cheating on guys before. He actually knows this since he knew she was still dating her ex when they started going out together.
Believe it or not, they have a fabulous relationship. Their personalities complement each other. They have a great way of handling almost all the problems that come up in their relationship. In general, I think that both people are happier and better for being in the relationship.
So, he asked me this morning if she'd ever had any problems with drugs before. To my knowledge she has never done illegal drugs at any point. I've known her for the past six years throughout college and such, and I'm confident that it's not her personality to do that sort of thing. So, I ask why. It turns out that her new friends in Salt Lake City are big into Ecstasy, and she's become very curious about it. He's worried because when he told her that drug use of any kind was a dealbreaker for him, she told him he was being close minded (although agreed not to try the X.) His trust is wavering, but still there.
I, on the other hand, am *very* concerned. Having known her for as long as I have, and knowing who she is and seeing her in similar situations, I would bet 10-1 odds that if she's in a situation where she thinks he's never going to find out about the X, and it's there and free, she's going to try it. And then, because /I/ know what X's effects are going to be, I give it another 90% chance that she'll end up cheating on him. And THEN, because she's an idiot, she's going to write about it in her journal. All of these are obviously problematic to the relationship to the point where I don't know if I could support the marriage without both parties being aware of what they're facing.
I also know that this situation is largely because of the long distance relationship. She's frustrated that he hasn't moved yet, and she's terrified he's going to change his mind about moving, and she thinks that it's going to be like pulling teeth to get him to propose, and she's lonely. If he were there, she'd scale back how much she hangs out with these people (she's the sort that does when she's in a relationship), and there wouldn't be any real danger.
I can't decide if I ought to have a conversation with her about it. On one hand, I want to stay out of it because these are both my friends and I don't want to be in a position where I have to keep information from one about the other - especially if the other is moving a thousand miles away from his family to marry her, and especially when it's hard enough keeping the planned proposal a secret. On the other hand, I think she needs to know that I knew someone who died while taking X; that there are other physical dangers; and that there are emotional dangers to the X too. I think that if she knew that he was planning to propose, it would remove a lot of frustration on her part. I also think that I could have this conversation with her without affecting my relationship with her in any way. So, what do you think? Keep my nose out of it or talk to her about this?