Sex & Romance
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oral sex

my fi told me he wants to watch me give oral sex to a guy b4 we get married. he says its a fantassy of his any others out there have the FI have any crazy requests??? and shuold I be alarmed??

Re: oral sex

  • eww! that sounds super weird to me. i think something like that could only cause problems in your relationship in the long run not good things.
  • Is this a joke?


    If it isn't, why not suggest that the two of you videotape you giving your Fi oral and then he can watch it whenever he wants and no one has stepped over any lines.

  • Tell him about your fantasy of watching him give oral sex to a guy before you get married.  You'll know whether or not to be alarmed by his reaction to your suggestion.


  • If he wants to see you give oral sex to a guy... get a video camera and zoom in on his member and your face.  So that way he can watch it later!

    Or get a realistic looking dildo or something and play aorund with it orally.

    But yeah, if Dh suggested this, I would slap him.

  • Oh and does he care what it might do to YOU! He might not  be jealous, but you could start feeling really guilty about pleasuring another man!
  • My XH would bring up, on a regular basis, how hot he thought it would be to watch me have sex with another man. Since I didn't want to seem like a prude and say no to something he wanted, I told him I would think about it.

    When I finally got truthful with myself, I realized that was something I could NEVER be comfortable with. As far as I was concerned, sex in a marriage was supposed to be between the husband and wife, and veering from that would probably undermine the trust in the relationship.

    This, however, is just me. You just need to be truthful with yourself and him. If you are OK with it, that's between you and him. Don't worry if someone else may think what's going on in your bedroom is weird. Just be sure it's something  YOU are comfortable with.

  • Sorry, it sounds a bit nuts to me. 

    Why don't you suggest filming the two of you, you going down on him.  He can watch it all he wants?

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • Some things are better left as a fantasy.  Often times 3-somes, and things like this, can cause many many problems later on, even though it seems ok at the time.  If you are ok with this, and i mean totally ok, and he knows for sure he won't get jealous and you both have talked this over as much as can be, and you come up with a safe word so that in case either of you feel uncomfortable you can stop, then i'd say go for it.  BUT don't be surprised if it turns sour later on.  And like pp said, it could be a fetish.  Does he watch a lot of porn?  Maybe it turns him on in porn tapes when a girl gives head and wants to see you do it.  But why BEFORE you get married??
  • I would definately not agree to this.  For one, you will probably have guilty feelings afterward.  For two, he could hold this against you in the future in various ways.  He could blame you for it later in the relationship, or, if he ever cheated on you (Heaven forbid), he could try to say that it was "ok" b/c you have done it too.  Men can be skeezy.

     Video tape you and him, if that isn't good enough for him, try getting some porn or something or just giving it to him more often.

  • I personally wouldn't be alarmed. I would feel good about the fact that DH felt close enough to me to share a fantasy that others might have thought was crazy. You can't judge others for what their interest are especially if you are about to marry the person. Being comfortable enough to talk about anything is a great foundation for a marriage and the communication level of the couple after the "I do".

    Personally DH and I have shared crazy requests with each. We made it a point to be able to tell each other want we wanted sexually in our relationship without worrying if the other would think we were crazy. If we both realized it was something we wanted to try than we acted on it. If it was something the other thought was a little too "out there" than we didn't. No harm in asking.

    As for the specific request that your FI made - only you can determine if it is something you feel is appropriate for your relationship.

  • imagesweetyjenj:
    Some things are better left as a fantasy.  Often times 3-somes, and things like this, can cause many many problems later on, even though it seems ok at the time. 



  • you should blow at least 10 others before you get married and then post your mud somewhere else!
  • you might want to keep in mind that part of the appeal of fantasies is that they're fantasies.  what seems hot when you're fantasizing about it can turn out to really not be hot when you actually experience it.  personally, i'd never do anything like this, but my husband and i aren't very good at sharing, which works for us.

    great blasket island, co. kerry, ireland june 2011
  • DH would never want or even think about me being with another man. So sorry... no help here.

  • I think it's good he is open enough to share his fantasies with you. My H and I sometimes talk about doing things while we are actually doing it that are crazy like that... but as one PP said it was just a fantasy. Neither one of us would probably be down with it in real life, but talking about it can be a turn on.
  • imagesarah_crishelle:

    DH would never want or even think about me being with another man. So sorry... no help here.

    Ditto. My Fi would die before thinking about me doing something like that with someone else. Just like I would never want or think about him doing that with another woman.

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