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Discipline

Is there a board that discusses different theories and opinions on discipline?

What has worked for different mom's? different ages? different situations?

Or recommends some good books to read?

Re: Discipline

  • Not sure on books, but DH and I are planning on attending a free class at Childrens Hospital next week on 'Everyday Discipline"..you can register online, and if you can't attend, go to youtube and they record some of their classes and you can view them there...

    http://www.childrensomaha.org/body.cfm?id=1457

  • Just checked out the link. THANK YOU!!

    There's some other ones listed there that I'm also interested in. I didn't even know that Children's offered this. Perfect!

  • A few weeks ago, Primetime had this expert on to talk about discipline/dealing with defiant children.  You can find the entire story online, but here are his "tips:"  (It was an awesome show, if you missed it!)

    http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/10-tips-parents-defiant-children/story?id=8549664

  • image copaceticcrack:

    A few weeks ago, Primetime had this expert on to talk about discipline/dealing with defiant children.  You can find the entire story online, but here are his "tips:"  (It was an awesome show, if you missed it!)

    http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/10-tips-parents-defiant-children/story?id=8549664

    I think I dvr'd this and accidently deleted it!  :(

     

    DH and I also signed up for the ADHD seminar next Saturday since we have a son who was recently diagnoised, but aren't going to be able to attend, so I searched youtube and I did  the video from that same seminar back in April..it was about 1 1/2 long and I watched it last Friday.  Very interesting and alot of good ideas in that.  They also discussed some discipline issues in that that applied to every child, not just those with ADHD, but it was mostly for getting them to pay attention and do what was asked of them, not so much discipline for bad behavior.

    Some things that stood out:

    - Always talk to your child/give directions to them face to face, with them looking in your eyes.  Never ask/tell/instruct them to do anything from another room.  Always ask them to repeat what you said back.

    - Don't ask/tell them to do things by saying "Clean Your Room",  or "put your toys away" or 'put your clothes away' because everyone has different ideas of what 'a clean room' is or what 'put your toys away' means.  Instead your supposed to say things like "Pick up your blocks and put them in the toy box" or "pick up your shoes and put them in the closet'.  Very detailed directions so that they are doing exactly what you want/what you say to do so that you do not get upset that they didn't do what you asked, or what you wanted them to do..

    - Never tell them to do more then one or two things at once.  If you tell them to do this, then this, then this, then this, more then likely they are only going to remember the first thing you said, or the last thing you said, or the first and last thing, but none of the things in between.

    Again, not really ideas for disciplining them for behavior issues, but coming up with good every day 'disciplines' to get things done and avoid conflict/frustrations with them...

  • Thank you for that link!  We're having a horrible time right now with DD hitting and spitting...like taking a drink of something and then spitting it on the carpet, bed, etc.  I hope that some of these tips can be put into practice to help curb these issues! 

    Any other suggestions from moms who may have had similar problems with a 2 1/2 year old?

    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • image ants:

    Thank you for that link!  We're having a horrible time right now with DD hitting and spitting...like taking a drink of something and then spitting it on the carpet, bed, etc.  I hope that some of these tips can be put into practice to help curb these issues! 

    Any other suggestions from moms who may have had similar problems with a 2 1/2 year old?

    For This:  Never acknowledge the behavior when she spits, because then your just giving a positive reaction ( the attention, even though its 'bad' attention, attention to them is good so its a positive) to a negative behavior.

    Without saying anything, take away what she is drinking, wipe up the mess, walk away and do not give her anything back to drink.  If she does it again later, then repeat above without acknowledging her behavior.

    Same with hitting, except you probably won't have anything to take from her (unless she is using something to hit you with).  If not, then walk her over to a time out place, not saying a word to her, and place her there.  If she understands what time out is and that she gets put there for bad behavior then she should know why she is there without you telling her.

    Also another tip from that seminar;  Time out does not necessarily need to be a 'place', as in a chair in the corner or their bedroom or whatever.  It should be treated as an 'event'...I guess..not sure what word they used.  But if you are in the store and they start acting up you should be able to say 'You're in time out, please come here and stand next to me" right there and they should know that that means they did something wrong and they are being disciplined for it at that point.  Never wait until you are home or whatever to put them in time out..by that time they have forgetten what they did to end up in a time out if it has to wait until you get home to be disciplined.

  • image ants:

    Thank you for that link!  We're having a horrible time right now with DD hitting and spitting...like taking a drink of something and then spitting it on the carpet, bed, etc.  I hope that some of these tips can be put into practice to help curb these issues! 

    Any other suggestions from moms who may have had similar problems with a 2 1/2 year old?

    One more thing and then I'll stop.  :)  Our 4 year old started saying "I HATE YOU" alot a few months back and DH and I would get so upset with him about it and would say "That is not nice, you don't say that" or whatever and he just kept doing it.  So one day he said it to the daycare lady and she said "Thank You!" and that caught him off guard and he just looked at her.  So she told us and then at home anytime he said it we'd say "Thank You!" and he'd get mad at us for not getting mad at him.  :)   He'd say back "Don't say Thank You!  Get mad!"  He wanted us to get mad because he liked the attention and he thought it was funny to see us mad, so we stopped getting mad and he's stopped saying it...not completely, but not as much as he was and now when he says it he catches himself saying it and doesn't wait for a reaction from us any more because he knows its not going to be the one he wants. 

    Maybe you can try that with the hitting??? 

  • image
    I keep an inch and a half guardrail nut on a loop of 550 cord. It's not whiz-bang tactical, but one smack in the grape and it's coloring books for Christmas.
  • I very highly recommend Jim Fay's "Love and Logic." I use it in my classroom millions of times throughout the day and it works wonders. I use it with my own kid and it really seems to help avoid lots of power struggles. It's mainly giving choices that help a child feel like they are in control. The catch is that it's not "do you want to go to bed or get a spanking?" because they could technically choose the spanking and then should be able to stay up. It would be more along the lines of "Do you want to go to bed in 4 minutes or 5 minutes? Do you want to use the pink blanket or the red blanket? Do you want to wear the white socks or the green socks?"

    It's always giving them choices within a parameter. You are guiding them but they are ultimately making the final decision which makes their opinion feel valued. That helps SO MUCH when it comes to a kid who wants to power struggle with you. 

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