Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Is he unsure?
I don't know but it's pretty lame to post something like this then ignore it.
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I don't bring it up a lot, something small every few days and we are around each other all the time.
I'm scared to ask but what would you consider a lot if every few days isn't? And considering you've only been dating 4 months...let's do the math. Let's say you started talking marriage from day one (since this is when you said you knew he was the one) well, talking about it every few days means you have talked about marriage with him about 40 - 50 times since you started dating. 40 - 50 times in 4 months!! Be happy he isn't running for the hills at this point...I would be.
Wow I didn't realize I would get such a huge reply. I've never posted on here before.
The last boyfriend and I have been technically broken up for 8 months. We fell out of love and were in the relationship in the end because we didn't know how to end it. We hadn't been in love for a while. As for all of you that say its too fast, maybe but my mom and dad were married after 3 months and were together until he died in January so that was 27 years, my grandparents married after 6 months and have been together for 68 years. I was wish this one guy for 6 years and got nothing. The ex got comfortable in the relationship and led me on to believe that it would eventually happen and it didn't so I spent 6 years with him when he never had any intention of marrying me. I did ask him today and he said he had more planned that I thought. As for the people that say I just want a party, I have to defend myself here. I told him that I would marry him in a court house if thats what it came down to. Now that I've talked to him and I feel better. I definately think we will be ok. Thank you guys for your advice.
MUD= made up drama.?
Anyways, it's good that you talked. I think that short relationships turned engagements can work (I've heard all the stories when people were advising against my long engagement). But I think the people who said to slow down were doing so in response to how we percieved your bf to be reacting.
Good for you, though, for going to the source and talking it out. That's definitely a good foundation.?
but my mom and dad were married after 3 months and were together until he died in January so that was 27 years, my grandparents married after 6 months and have been together for 68 years.
SO what? That's them. not you. My parents got married after 10 WEEKS and divorced 8 years later.... Does that mean that would happen to me? No. I've been w/ my DH for 17 years, married for 6. NOT EVEN CLOSE to what happened w/ my parents.
You can NOT justify a fast relationship based on what OTHER people did. Your parents are not you and this bf. Your grandparents are not you and this bf. For the fact that you told us this- I think it's actually a red flag. Both your parents and your grandparents moved fast, so you want to continue the "tradition".
And why do you need to know he's seriously thinking about marriage to "feel better"? Again- it makes me wonder if you're really thinking about the MARRIAGE as much as you are about "getting" married.
I think you see a romance in fast engagements and that's why your bucking so hard for this.
~Benjamin Franklin
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And you rebounded right into the current poor schlub. So you just want to be married, it doesn't matter to whom. Got it.
BEEBEE ALERT, BEEBEE ALERT!
I also notice she neglected to tell us how old she is. I'm guessing 19 or 20 and she and her ex started *cough*dating*cough* in junior high.
The truth hurts sometimes, doesn't it?
Honey, success in marriage isn't genetic!
Who cares what your parents or grandparents did? Longevity doesn't even = success anyway, if you consider success to = happiness. DH's grandparents have been married 64 years, and throughout the marriage the H interrupts and disrespects the W at every turn, but she has put up with it.
Nothing you have written makes me think that you are the least bit ready to get married to anyone.
Jeez, why don't you ladies like being single?? It's great fun - it's the best chance you'll ever have to grow up on your own outside of the influences of anyone, to be independent, and to feel good about yourself. You'll be married forever - just enjoy the opportunity to be on your own for awhile.
I mean, do you suck SO MUCH that you can't stand to be alone with yourself??
I red puffy heart you. But I don't blue puffy heart you.
CAN NOT AGREE WITH THIS MORE.... other peoples relationships have nothing to do with yours. I have been with DH for going on 6 years and we just got married a little over a month ago. I have a friend who met her Exhusband several months after I met DH they got engaged 4 months later and then married... She is currently going through a huge divorce. So just because someone succeeds in a marriage after knowing each other 4 months doesnt mean you will. It doesnt mean you will fail but there is no garuntee for anything. Also it is 2008 people are different the world is different then it was even a few years ago so i really dont know if you can compare the success of a relationship from 27 years agor and definitely not 68 years ago to your own....
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I do agree that 4 months is a little early to be talking about marriange. however, I can really to your situation. I have been engaged for 18 months and my fiancee freezes up any time I mention the word marriage. I love him and want to be with him but I am frustrated and getting close to the point where I am ready to say let's be friends because he is not ready to commit. I feel like I put my life on hold for him, I took a job that I hate because it would give me the means to transfer to where he lives. Desperately seeking advice.
Please - I beg of you - start a new thread for this.
He's not ready and you're going to push him away if you keep it up.
My BFF just went through this with her bf. She pushed and pushed and now they're no longer together.
Marriage is between two consenting adults so he needs to meet you halfway.