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Frusterated...

Maybe it's my hormones again but I'm super frusterated with my SIL/BIL. Last spring BIL (DH's brother) came home from Iraqu and  really wanted us to come see him and his fam in San Diego. That was fine with us, we just asked them to pic a time that worked for them and we'd by tickets. So, in July we bought our tickets for Labor Day weekend.

They've been kind of weird the last couple weeks and keep telling us we need to plan our 'events' out in San Diego around the kids and everything must be kid friendly. Ok, fine. I just wanted to go to Sea World and swim with dolpins...they vetoed that because it's a waste of money. I wanted to go shopping and Jeff wanted to golf at Torrey Pines. Last week BIL tells Jeff they probably won't be golfing at all  because it's labor day weekend at the courses are booked. We probably won't be shopping because there is 'not any good shopping out here'. Finally we get ahold of them today after 2 weeks of not returning calls and it turns out SIL got a boob job/tummy tuck this week and will need to rest alot while we are there. ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME? It's so frusterating. BIL tells us we will only be going to Sea World and then just hanging out at their place. Jeff said we could just rent a car and take a few days to ourself, BIL wasn't keen on that idea because he would have to transport to the car rental place. Etc, etc, etc. There are always excuses. I am so fed up that I spend $750 on tickets and a week of my vacation to spend with them. We used to be soo incredibly close (me and SIL) but we don't talk anymore. San Diego has sadly changed her alot, to someone I don't even recognize. I'm so upset and in tears over all this. UGH! Ok sorry for the vent...I'm just beyond pissed now....

I'm seriously debating about changing tickets to someplace else.

Ok...edit: I don't want to sound like a B**ch. Yes, are going out there to see them but our plans the whole time was to have lots of fun WITH them. They are now saying SIL needs to rest and we just need to hang out at home. That's fine with us, but not for 5 whole days. I wanna see San Diego! I wanna go to a few beaches, maybe the zoo! I am fine with 'kid friendly' activities but now we are looking at no activities and a whiny SIL when/if we do go anywhere because she chose to have a tummy tuck this week. We are looking at rental cars that pick us up, but this isn't what I need. I was hoping for a fun, relaxing, enjoyable break from the craziness of my life...that ain't gonna happen now. Crying

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Re: Frusterated...

  • Wow, that sucks. I understand a host wanting their guests to work with them a little bit, but that's ridiculous! You're there for vacation - if they don't want to go sight-seeing, etc. then they should at least be okay with you guys making plans for the two of you, and help out with some transportation!

    If I were you, I'd have an honest conversation with them (or have DH do it) and say that you are excited to see them and spend time with them, but these are the things you are also planning on doing, and if they don't want to join you then that is okay. And that you would be happy to just hang out with them at home part of the time, too.

  • I'm really sorry.  I hope they come around and you end up having fun!
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  • Seriously?! You don't sound like a b!tch at all. That was deceiving of them to not be open and honest with you both about sil's boob job and recovery. I think its crappy she planned it then when they knew you were coming. And like MrsTice said, they could at least help you out on getting a rental car so you could try to do something besides watch your sil recover from her new stomach and boobs. Can you just get the rental car at the airport and bypass bil needing to help transport you? Ugh. I'm sorry and I hope you have a great time despite this bomb they just dropped on you.
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  • Sorry for the blow up....DH talked to BIL a little bit about everything....

    He explained how we felt and they understand, to a point (i don't think they get that we are on vacation and want to have fun!). We'll just have to see what comes of all this. I just hope we can have fun and enjoy our time away!! Thanks for understanding and listening to me vent again!

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  • I hope they come around and you guys have a great time!  You deserve a wonderful vacation.  I would also be very frustrated!  Good Luck!
  • Oh goodness! I'd be super upset as well! You are giving up a lot to be with them (time and money) and they should be flexible with you (as well as you with them). If you want to sightsee instead of watch SIL recover, then they should at least be willing to help you with transportation. Heck, if she's just going to be at home recovering, could you borrow one of their vehicles and just refill the gas each time? That would save BIL from having to transport you to the car rental.

    I really hope everything turns out ok and that you end up having a blast in San Diego. I'm a bit jealous!

  • That would be very frustrating!  I hope you have a relaxing vacation regardless.
  • wow. That sucks.  There's no shopping in SD?  I have a hard time beliving that.  I didn't read the rest of the responses but my advice would be to pick up a rental at the airport for the week so you and Jeff have your own transportation to go out and about.  That way, your BIL can't complain about having to take to/from any rental places.  If you're going to a) spend money to fly out to SD and b) take vacation time, you damn well better make it feel like a vacation.  Seriously - there's nothing wrong with putting some of yourself first.
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  • I agree w/ all the others, you aren't being a *itch, you are being reasonable and they are being rude.  If i were to buy a ticket to SD, i would want to see the town too!  I agree w/ pp to rent a car at the airport so as not to "inconvenience" BIL (seriously, is it really THAT big of a deal to pick up at a car rental??).  Then I would spend dinners, etc. w/ them, but I would go out and enjoy yourself during the day.  do they really expect you to sit around and admire your SIL's sore boobs?
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  • I agree with the pp, I would pick up a rental at the airport.  Then you and Jeff can go do whatever your hearts desire when you want to.  If BIL and SIL can come, great but if they want to sit at home, it is not your obligation to be bored at their house all day!  Go swim with the dolphins, I think that sounds like a blast!  Also, there has to be a mall somewhere!  Seriously it's SD not the boonedocks of Iowa!!!
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