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VIDEO GAMES

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Re: VIDEO GAMES

  • image ryli2010:
    ok i guess i should have known that you were sarcastic cause we are like best friends right??? (can you sense mine)  since i have know you for all of like 2 minutes on here.

     Dude. You really just need to calm down. You have to realize that your generalization about men never liking housework might ruffle a few feathers (because, really, does anyone like housework? I don't, but then again my DH does the laundry, cleans, does the dishes, etc. and I'm the lazy one. Maybe I'm the man in the relationship?) Your sarcasm detector needs some work. 

  • imoanimoan member
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  • Someone had asked me if my husband played video games a lot when we got married. The answer is no. He actually didn't have a Playstation when we got married, but had asked for one his birthday about a year after we got married, and ironically, I was the one who bought it for him. That was just a normal Playstation, and I actually didn't mind him playing games on that one. He played maybe an hour a night, sometimes more than an hour, and sometimes we would play together. It really didn't start to bother me until he got Playstation 3 and started playing more and more.

     I don't think I'm being controlling or unreasonable. I don't think that it is my job to do the dishes, fold his laundry, pick up after him, clean the bathrooms, and clean the rest of the house while he is enjoying his video games. I'm not his mother and it's not my job to pick up after him. Someone had asked me why I care what he is doing if I am folding laundry, doing my work, or something else. I care because a marriage should be 50/50 and I shouldn't feel like I am doing all the working while he is playing his video games. Someone asked if I had any hobbies besides my husband...I don't really get much me time because I have to do most of the work (with the exception of him cooking and throwing laundry in the washer, which REALLY isn't hard to do). I have plenty of hobbies, but it's really hard to enjoy them because I'm too busy picking up after him! Is that REALLY fair?

  • We received a Wii as a wedding gift, need I say more?

    DH is really good about playing with me though and not leaving me out.  He often waits until I go to bed to play the games that bore me.

    As far as I am concerned, I have my hobbies, he has his, and he doesn't play online games with strange women or anything.  Who really cares?

     

  • Originally you painted a picture that he did a good amount to help around the house.  Not as much as you would like, but that he did a fair amount.  Now you're painting a picture that you do EVERYTHING while he plays video games.
     
    Which is it?

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  • GBCKGBCK member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker
    image egilbride:

    I don't think that it is my job to do the dishes, fold his laundry, pick up after him, clean the bathrooms, and clean the rest of the house while he is enjoying his video games. I'm not his mother and it's not my job to pick up after him.

     

    So why are you still DOING that stuff for him?

     

  • get him some 2-player games and order a pizza, suddenly you're on a date with him.
    "I wish yo azz all tha dopest up in yo' marriages"
  • I'm still doing that stuff, because if I didn't (which I've tried for a little while to see if he would pick up after himself), the house would be a total mess.
  • GBCKGBCK member
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    image egilbride:
    I'm still doing that stuff, because if I didn't (which I've tried for a little while to see if he would pick up after himself), the house would be a total mess.

    On some level, that makes sense for the 'joint' stuff (cleaning bathrooms, etc)--although, as some previous posters pointed out, the difference in priorities and the difference in levels of 'clutter tolerance' does need to be noted and respected.

    But what about the things that wouldn't make a mess.  His laundry...if you pile it somewhere and quit doing it, that doesn't make the house a mess, it makes him not have clean clothes.    If you don't cook for 2 people, that doesn't make the house a mess it means he has to fend for himself.  Etc.

    So what jobs can you not have to do?

  • Seriously, is this about equality in the marriage or is this about your husbands attention not being on you and him not spending enough time with you?

     Really, housework is not demanding or difficult if people just pick up behind themselves to begin with (unless you have children, which it sounds like you don't). Just ask you SO to do that (and you stick with it too) Wipe the sink when you are done brushing your teeth. Put your dishes straight into the dish washer or just wash them immediately after your done. Take five minutes to do a quick vacuuming job daily.  It takes like two seconds, cuts chores in half, and it makes life easier. If your guy is just a messy person, just tell him to his face you're not his maid, you're his partner and that's how you expect to be treated.

    Not complicated.

  • image cherryblossom_bride:

    Seriously, is this about equality in the marriage or is this about your husbands attention not being on you and him not spending enough time with you? 

    Exactly.  YOu're muddying the waters here w/ your explanations.  I'm sure your DH is just as confused as we are and thinks your pissed about A when you're actually pissed about B.

    Figure out what your real issue is and focus on that issue.

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • image ryli2010:
    and fussbucket you may want to characterize yourself as always wrong, but don't cast your negativity on all women.... i am not always wrong, and my husband would never make me feel that way.  yours may and maybe that is why you are so angry......
    Thank you so much for the laugh.
  • I'd just like to point out if the issue is him not doing housework, then video games aren't really the problem. If he didn't have them, he'd still probably surf the internet or just watch T.V.

    It sounds like you, like many  people , have a grudge against something (in this case video games) just because your SO pays a lot of attention to them. I can't necessary blame you, my guy spends so much time trying to make his desktop perfect it drives me crazy. I don't blame his computer, though, I understand that even though it can sometimes be frustrating, he enjoys it. There are plenty of more productive ways to use his time, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of a hobby. It's not like I'm productive 24 hours a day either.

  • YES! My H plays Hobowars on the computer all the time. If he isn't at work he's on the computer playing this gay game. And his profile says he's married to some slut that plays the game too. Like WTF? I don't care if it is a game or not he's be pissed as hell if I was "pretend married" to someone else. But if I want to do something or go somewhere he complains that I don't spend time with him. Everything is such a double standard with men.
  • image egilbride:

    Someone had asked me if my husband played video games a lot when we got married. The answer is no. He actually didn't have a Playstation when we got married, but had asked for one his birthday about a year after we got married, and ironically, I was the one who bought it for him. That was just a normal Playstation, and I actually didn't mind him playing games on that one. He played maybe an hour a night, sometimes more than an hour, and sometimes we would play together. It really didn't start to bother me until he got Playstation 3 and started playing more and more.

     I don't think I'm being controlling or unreasonable. I don't think that it is my job to do the dishes, fold his laundry, pick up after him, clean the bathrooms, and clean the rest of the house while he is enjoying his video games. I'm not his mother and it's not my job to pick up after him. Someone had asked me why I care what he is doing if I am folding laundry, doing my work, or something else. I care because a marriage should be 50/50 and I shouldn't feel like I am doing all the working while he is playing his video games. Someone asked if I had any hobbies besides my husband...I don't really get much me time because I have to do most of the work (with the exception of him cooking and throwing laundry in the washer, which REALLY isn't hard to do). I have plenty of hobbies, but it's really hard to enjoy them because I'm too busy picking up after him! Is that REALLY fair?

      Wait a minute... Back the fvck up....

    You're p!ssed because he plays video games for two hours at night before going to bed??  And that's AFTER he cooks dinner for the two of you??

    MH will play games on the computer for HOURS over the weekend or for several hours in the evening during the week.  OR he'll pop in Gears of War on the Xbox and play that until his fingers fall off.  OR he'll pop in Punch Out or Tiger Woods on the Wii and play that until he's bored with it or it's time to eat dinner (which we cook together).  You know what I do while he's playing?  I find something constructive to do - and that includes playing video games myself.

    As for the housework - do you know when I get that done - Since I'm the one that does 90% of it?  I do it all during my day off while H is at work.  Know how long it takes me?  Probably two hours, give or take.  Wtf is so difficult about cleaning your house that you can't do it all by yourself?  And why can't your H fold his own [email protected] laundry?  You really need to start putting your foot down regarding the more important aspects of your marriage and stop nagging about what your H cares to do in his downtime.

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  • What are you upset about -- the division of labor?  The amount of time he spends gaming?  The fact that he's gaming at all?  The fact that you feel you're constantly cleaning up after him?

    If you can't boil this down to the one thing you're really upset about, you can't expect him to respond to your concerns in any sort of productive fashion.  I do understand that it's frustrating to be doing housework while your spouse is relaxing and to feel that it's unfair drudgery, but that's not the same discussion as being upset with how much time he's spending per night on his hobby.

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  • It is true, it could be much worse. If you explained why you don't like him playing so often, citing that you're feeling ignored or want some time with him one on one.

    My guy can play for four hours in a row on a single day but usually understands when I ask him to stop playing. 

    If he has an intense job then the video games are a break from the stress, more like mindless relaxation. It is very hard to get used to but it's like us ladies needing to get out and go shopping after a hard week. 

    If you asked him to lessen his time instead of just stopping he'll probably be more agreeable to your suggestion. Eventually, in time he'll find that it's not really what he needs to be doing and there are better times to be had with you.

  • We are talking about a grown man here, yes? I would certaintly hope so. Anyways, don't YELL at your husband or TELL him what to do. You two are supposed to be in a partnership. You are NOT his mother. I agree with pp. Bring up something different for him to do WITH you.
  • on nights you want to watch a movie then say hey lets watch a movie.
  • I thought everyones husband spent too much time on video games. Mine does, but I know he does it to relax so I try not to be too gripy about it.

    And if he thought there was even a chance at sexy time there would be a puff of dust where he had been sitting

    lol on the masterchief bj

  • My fiance and I have had many conversations about video games.  He enjoys playing them and I do not.  However, I enjoy girly tv shows and he does not.  So, we sat down and discussed times when I could watch my shows and he could play video games.  We both limited times that we did each, but it still gives us the opportunity to do things we enjoy.  I think it is unfair to make him not play at all or tell him that he can't (although please don't tell my FI this haha).  I think as long as he's not doing it all the time or becoming obsessive about it, it's ok. 

    As for the smoking part, have you talked about your concern with this?  And addressed it as a concern and not a reason for him not to play?  

    And the whole BJ thing.  I think if I did it to get my FI to stop playing, he would see it just as that (he can read my pretty well).  If that was your intentions, I'm sure he could see right through it.

    image


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