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Remember when...

...about a week ago I said that DH and I were doing pretty well with all of the issues going on around us? Well, we've both cracked.

We spent yesterday yelling at each other and slamming doors, crying and screaming. We are totally overwhelmed and are taking it out on each other.

Our budget won't balance and we have more stuff to buy for baby (our nursing tops really necessary?), DH still has no prospects for a job, I officially have GD and therefore am a double "high risk" patient, FIL is still not doing well. I am now done teaching, but I think it may have been easier with that as a distraction.

For the past 4 days I could cry at the drop of a hat. I want something positive to happen that will help us be able to look into the future and not want to panic.

I know this pity party isn't fair - especially considering what Angie is going through right now.

DH needs to get a job, he just has to. That will help to make everything that much easier to handle.

Re: Remember when...

  • NO - nursing tops are not necessary.  I had one nursing tank and it was horrendous.  I threw it in the garbage.  Nursing bras are necessary, though.  I got by with just a handful.  Watched when Sears and the Bay had a sale and got some that weren't expensive at all.  Don't bother with fancy ones from boutiques.  My least favourite was the famous Bravado. 

    As for you and your husband?  I'm so sorry.  It sucks to be in such a crappy place. Especially with a baby on the way.  What kind of benefits/EAP do you have at your job?  Do you attend church or another place of worship?  Sounds like you guys could use an impartial third party to listen and help you guys along.  You do NOT have to suffer.  A few sessions with a decent counselor can do wonders.

    As for your DH's job....  Is he still on EI or has it run out?  If he's not bringing in any money at all, a job at Starbucks never hurt anyone.  Plus, they actually have really decent benefits. A job like this is better than no job at all. 

    Also, how many resumes is he sending out per day?  If it's not that many, get on his case.  I remember sending out perhaps 10 a week at one point.  ZERO response. It was only when I was sending out a minimum of 10 per *day* that calls for interviews started coming in.  Of course, it makes sense to apply a bunch of places that don't even seem to be hiring (ie, no job postings)... you never know.

    I'm sorry you're going through all this...  it will be ok, though.  It will.  Take care.  

    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers
    Lilypie - (sGpn)

  • Danielle I am so sorry that you guys are going though this. It's hard enough to deal with money problems let alone when there is a little one coming to think about.

    I agree with MJ that a third party counsellor might be able to help you guys out.

    I really have no words or advice (that you haven't already thought of), just wanted to send you a hug & let you know that I'm thinking of you.

  • (((HUGS)))

     I don't have much advice for your financial woes, but with respect to nursing:

     You definitely don't need nursing tops.  In fact, I have a few, but what I found more useful is some really cheap spaghetti strap tank tops.  I wear them with the straps extended all the way, and then wear them under my t-shirts/normal tops.  Then, you can undo your nursing bra,  lift up your top to nurse, pull down the tank a bit, and you can nurse, but still be pretty much completely covered.

     Also - what all do you need for the baby, I may have some advice on that department (how to get stuff cheap)

  • Thank you for the reminder. We have gone to therapy together before. We may need to revisit that soon (I do have some coverage).

     The 10 resumes per day is interesting, I think he applies for 3-4 jobs a day but I will mention it to him.

    Sorry about whining about the same things over and over ladies. I want to tell you that I am definitely not a "take this lying down" type of person. I am huge on problem solving and being proactive. Sometimes it is the things that I can't control that are the most difficult.

  • image CanadianBio:

    Thank you for the reminder. We have gone to therapy together before. We may need to revisit that soon (I do have some coverage).

     The 10 resumes per day is interesting, I think he applies for 3-4 jobs a day but I will mention it to him.

    Sorry about whining about the same things over and over ladies. I want to tell you that I am definitely not a "take this lying down" type of person. I am huge on problem solving and being proactive. Sometimes it is the things that I can't control that are the most difficult.

    Two thumbs up for the above.  Being proactive will certainly see you through all of this.

    Make an appointment to see the shrink.  A person never regrets it!  

    Actually, the supposed rule is a minimum of 20-25 resumes per day!  But I couldn't stomach that. Get him to try 10. 

     

     

    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers
    Lilypie - (sGpn)

  • Oh - one thought - since it *IS* summer - is there any way your DH would consider putting up flyers to cut lawns/do yard work or wash windows for people?

     Is he at all handy?  He could put up flyers in the nearby areas about doing handywork for people.

     those are ways to bring in at least a little cash, to supplement EI while he's on it.

  • Sorry things aren't getting any better. I can understand how frustrated you must be. In the 7 months that Joey was looking for work (off work for 8 months but 1 of those we were on vacay so no resumes were sent) he sent out over 200 resumes for jobs he was actually qualified for. I forget the number of one's that he was partially qualified for that he didn't apply to but I know it was well over 100.

    I found that it came in spurts. Sometimes there would be no job postings for a week or more and then all of a sudden there would be 20 in one day. I think that right now could be a slow time for postings and it should start to pick back up in August when people start hiring for the fall.

    <<hugs>>

  • I'm sorry things are so crappy. I hope your husband finds something soon. I'm a big fan of the phrase "this too shall pass", I hope it happens sooner than later for you though, sounds like things are very frustrating.

     

    I was talking yesterday with a friend about being ready for kids, and how you can never really be "ready" etc, and she was saying that really, when you think about it, people have babies every second around the world, and they do it with SO much less than we have access to here in Canada. So regardless of your situation there are definitely those that are worse off than you (if that helps put it in to perspective at all).

    Not that I'm saying don't vent, probably better for you get it out here rather than have a big blow up with your husband. I hope you get some positive news soon, sounds like you could use some. 

  • **big hugs**

    I'm sorry - it's gotta be so hard. I think it's great that you are being proactive and are seeking solutions. That's tricky to do when you're being surrounded by sh*tty situations.

    I like Pam's idea too - offering handy services over the summer - there are a lot of households that might need an extra hand. I know that with DH being so busy, I'd definitely welcome some help in my garden!

    It's good that you get coverage for counseling. I definitely think it will help you through this tough time.

    Thinking of you.

  • im sorry things are so tough right now.  Coming from a girl whose DH has been also off work for 7 months now.  Is there a way for him to stay home with the baby while you go back to work?  Perhaps it may help with the income if he cant find a job.        

    Try to keep calm and im thinking of you

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