June 2008 Weddings
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Panic attacks :(

 I'm really throwing myself out here, so bear with me.

Please extend some T&P to me tomorrow as we leave on vacation.  I have panic disorder w/ mild agoraphobia and it has been unbelievably bad lately.  I often have panic attacks on the road and we'll be in the car at minimum 5 hours tomorrow.  I've been working through an online cognitive-behavioral therapy program that I found out about through a psychology journal, but I'm only 1 week into it and so far it has just served to make me even more hyperaware.  Well actually, the program has you put yourself in situations that will usually elicit an attack so I've been doing a lot of that and I've had a lot more successes than I normally would in those situations.  But a couple of times it did result in a full on attack and made me feel like a big failure.

I probably sound like a total freak, but I have been a basketcase the past few days worrying about having an attack and messing up our vacation.  I've been really down because I can remember my life before I had this and I want that back, but I know that this will be with me in some form or fashion until I die.  It's also disheartening that I'm coming off of a spell (about a year!) where my symptoms were much less apparent.  DH is as supportive as he can be, but I often hide my symptoms due to my desperation to feel "normal".  And it's hard for others to understand what it feels like to have a serious fear that you're about to die- most people only experience that terror at most a handful of times in their lives.  At my worst, I'd experience it a handful of times in a day.



Re: Panic attacks :(

  • Definite thoughts and prayers!
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  • I'm sure everything will go well tomorrow, but I'll keep you in my thoughts.  Have an awesome vacation!
    Kristen & Matt - June 27, 2008
    We're married!

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  • I hope you have a terrific trip! You have my thoughts :)
  • If you ever want to talk off board just let me know b/c I've been dealing with an anxiety disorder for the past 7 years. I know how to deal with it now but that still doesn't mean that my symptoms won't come up at least once a year and cause me to have a bad spell for a couple of months or manifest in an entirely different way.

    Earlier this year my anxiety caused IBS, which caused more anxiety, which made me mildly agoraphobic for awhile. I think the thought of being in a plane for a long time or in a car would have sent me over the edge. The only way I got better was by actually doing it and it's harder than just saying that b/c I had a really rough time with it but I'm getting better :) I rode on a 4 hour trip with a co-worker last week and it felt like the hugest accomplishment ever. That sounds so silly, but I know you understand :)

    Happiest place on Earth!
  • I forgot to add that off *course* you have my T&P :) You're going to do awesome and you'll feel so much better once you get through it!
    Happiest place on Earth!
  • Sending T&P your way!  Stay positive and try not to focus on it too much.

    I was diagnosed with an axiety disorder about 9 years ago - and until I finally found out what it was, I thought the worst.  I've managed to work through a lot of it, but I still have episodes from time to time (thankfully they are usually less severe). 

    One of the relaxation & meditations that helps for me is "yoga" breathing - or focusing on your belly-button when you breathe.  It sounds silly, but I think it gives me something else to focus on and the symptoms subside (at least somewhat).  Concentrate on taking slow deep breaths through you nose and concentrate on your "belly-button" moving outward.  Then slowly exhale through your mouth - again picturing you belly-button moving back inwards.  I close my eyes and try to relax and picture myself somewhere calm and relaxing.  This helped me deal with even the shortest of car rides in the beginning.

    she_wears_red (((at))) yahoo

    Good luck and I hope you enjoy your vacation!


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