Sex & Romance
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Questions about a 3 some..


Re: Questions about a 3 some..

  • I think it is wrong to say someone needs counseling just because they are considering a threesome.

    Make sure this is something you really want to do. It sounds like it's your DH who is more interested. If you are both interested in trying this and really feel ok about it, set the ground rules first (what you can and can't do, how far you can go, a signal if it gets out of hand, etc). Choose the person together.

    I think this can be a really good thing or a really bad thing depending on the couple. If you or he is really jealous, I would probably stay away! It might be hard to get over if that is the case.
  • i think what the pp may have been trying to suggest is just that some people that start thinking of including someone else in their sex life may be doing so for reasons underlying.  i don't think thats a judgement statement.  this is a sign a lot of times that something may be wrong.  thats why so many that try this do end up with problems.  its certainly different than people that go into for different reasons and understand why they're wanting to do so.
  • I do understand there are some people who may go into it with underlying problems but, without knowing much about the op, it suggests there is something "wrong" with her for wanting to have a threesome by suggesting counseling (sorry for the run-on!).

    Sometimes I think counseling is suggested too much. It seems like the go-to answer for everything.

  • i agree about the counseling thing.  a lot of things could be worked out between two people willing to be completely honest with each other.
  • Ignore all the judgements. Your marriage is your own and you need to do what works for you. Now as far as your question, really talk it out and decide boundaries. Every once in a while I'm a bit curious about a 3 some, but when I really think about it, there's not much I would want the third person to do that I would feel comfortable with, besides watch. And figure out if you want a stranger or someone you know, then go from there. A lot of people use craigslist.


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  • DH only participate in threesomes with other women. We started when we were dating and then decided once we got engaged that it was something we liked doing and it would be part of our relationship until one of us decided otherwise. So far the girls have been friends of ours that we knew were interested in threesomes and no feelings would be attached. There isn't any intercourse for my husband and the other woman but everyone is left very satisfied in the end.

    The first time is was more girl on girl because it was spur of the moment and then times after that everyone participated.

    Make sure you really discuss with your husband first. If anyone has an ounce of jealousy in them then it won't work. Figuire out what your rules of play are beforehand. And make sure you use protection like in any other sexual situation.
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