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Mommies... I need help!

I have a few questions and need help from my experienced mommies!

First, DS will not sleep alone, at all. He HATES being on his back, so if I nurse him to sleep and then put him in the crib/PNP he wakes within minutes. Same thing whether swaddled or not. The only places he'll sleep is on my chest (lying on his stomach) or on the boppy on his side. Obviously if he falls asleep on the boppy (after feeding) I have to sit with him since I can't let him sleep there alone...He did sleep for about 2 hours the other day in the PNP but only on his tummy, and again I had to check on him every 5 mins to be sure he was breathing ok since he was on his tummy.

How can I get him comfy to sleep on his back? I have spent the past 3 weeks on the couch with him 24 hours a day, because the poor thing needs sleep and won't sleep anywhere without me. I don't want him dependent on me forever for sleep...and we both need our rest! HELP

Also, I just used my pump for the first time, just on one side because my nipple is soooo sore there is no way I can feed DS from that side today. I only got about 1 and a half ozs.... I dont really feel like the breast is empty but I was getting sore and it didnt seem like much more was coming out... does this sound about right or should there be more?

This mommy stuff is hard work! Jason is gone until tomorrow morning and being completely alone with Jayden is a lot harder than I thought it would be, with no breaks for even a shower, etc... sigh...

thanks for the help girls!!! I dont know what Id do without uyou all :)

Re: Mommies... I need help!

  • Jakob did sleep on his back, but the advice my SIL had from her midwives in Germany was to have their baby sleep on his side, alternating L&R, to avoid a flat spot. Not way over on his side, but just not flat on his back either. I think if we have #2, I'd try that. I've noticed infant sleep positioners that I think are designed for that.

    Sorry, I'm metric, and I have no clue what an ounce is, but when your baby is little they don't take a lot of milk, so production isn't high. When Jakob was that age (and remember I was a milker) I probably got 40 or 50 ml per side. That was with a Medela PISA. Try a warm compress before pumping, or if you do get a moment to yourself (I know that's less than likely) take a shower or bath before pumping.

    What pump are you using? If you've got a Medela, I strongly recommend the softshield. I had to look hard to find it (and finally snapped up the only one that Baby's World still had in stock - I think I've since seen them at TJs), but it made a huge difference in comfort level. While still using a hard shield, I used lanolin to reduce friction and make it more comfortable (that was recommended by Dr Livingstone, who I take as my guru since she made it work for us). It also took me a while to be able to get it up to full power, it was just too uncomfortable at first.

    I can't imagine being alone with an infant... We had a rough start, so my parents stayed for a full month, and I know I was spoiled. Good luck!
     

  • Some pumps work better than others, and some women just don't respond well to pumping. You may not be able to get lots of milk out (even if you have lots)- some women can't. You can try a better pump and that might help.

    Sleeping- the first month Ethan would only sleep on us, too. After that I was able to start rolling him over on to his back after he was asleep. Now he can fall asleep on his back just fine (if we're around- we still co-sleep). I wouldn't worry about starting "bad habits"- I truly believe that (at least, some) newborns need to be with their parents 24/7 at the beginning. Don't worry, he'll start to wean himself off in time.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • One more thought - can you nurse side-lying? It might be more comfortable for you once he falls asleep. I could never co-sleep, but found that once I could nurse in bed I at least got some rest.
  • It's totally normal that Jayden wants to sleep on you. He is so used to having you, since for the past 9 months he was with you that it's hard for him without mommy. Alex too hated the PNP, but we found that the bouncy seat worked really well, since it was slightly elevated. You could try that or a swing, since they are kind of curled up like they were in the womb. You could also try some kind of white noise, you can even download from i-tunes sound of the womb and other white noise sounds, that may help Jayden sleep better.

    As for the milk, from what I read on the 0-6 board, that amount is very good for 3 weeks. You could try posting there too for more responses.

    Did your parents go back to FL? Sorry you are alone, that must be pretty tough. Is there someone around that could give you a break?

    Good luck.

  • I could have written this post myself about 3 1/2 months ago. We invested in an Angel Care monitor and let Sophie sleep on her tummy (yes, I win bad mommy of the year award). Eventually she would do well with swaddling and then being on her back (sometimes, she still prefers her tummy). I just ordered a miracle blanket, have you thought of trying one of those? Perhaps a sleep positioner would work well to help Jayden sleep on his side. I found using 2 rolled up receiving blankets helped DD sleep on her side when we were trying to avoid her sleeping on her tummy at the start, and she seemed to get some rest that way. My wrists would get so sore holding her on me all day, I bet yours feel the same way too!

    A softshield breast pump is good, my medela Swing has that. I think the amount you pumped is probably just fine--think that Jayden's tummy is about as big as a walnut right now so he can't take very much breast milk yet and 1.5 ounces from one breast pump session sounds okay since you're less than 3 weeks post baby! The sore nipples do go away, do you have any Lansinoh cream to put on them? First expressing some milk on them, letting that dry, and then putting on the L-Cream really helped mine heal.

    Best things I can recommend:

    1--stick with the swaddling to sleep when doing side or back sleeping

    2--maybe try some white noise to help DS sleep in the crib for longer than 10 minutes. I downloaded "white noise" from "Howaitonoizu" from ITunes for like 2 bucks, and put it on my ipod, then bought an ipod music docking station. It has been my saviour.

    3--watch the Happiest baby on the Block dvd. I will lend you mine if you like, I live in BC too. I can mail it out on Tuesday, express post (I am away from home right now but will be back Saturday). Or I could even send it via greyhound and it will get there faster. Send me your address so I can get it to you asap!

    4--try a sling/snugli/baby bjorn. From early on I found that Sophie would sleep in her bjorn when she faced inward, and I can do a few things like make lunch and brush my hair, etc. while she's close, yet crashed.

    All the best Nikki. This exhausting time will get better!

  • Can you try him sleeping in a reclined/semi-sitting position?  Our son slept best in his carseat of all things, so he would sleep at night in there!  I know others whose babies slept in their swings all night.  You can try propping up the mattress/pad so that he is not flat on his black but kind of inclined.  I don't think the sidesleeping is the end of the world either, maybe use one of those wedges to make sure he doesn't roll though. 

     Re. the pumping, I wouldn't worry as pumping is not a true reflection of the milk you produce.  YOu can try compressing your breast as you pump to get more, but as I say, it's not a big worry.  It shouldn't be sore when you pump though, so I agree with the softshield that the other ladies recommended, and also you can buy Medela shields with wider/narrower diameters (needed if your nipples are especially large or small).  Re. the nipple pain, try using Jack Newman's recipe for nipple ointment, it is great!  I had really bad cracks which healed up in no time once I tried this ointment.  Just google him and you will find it.  He e-mails prescriptions to you, or you can print out the recipe, give it to your doctor, and they can give you an Rx for it. 

  • Hey Nikki,

     

    Have you tired laying him on his tummy, Logan prefers to be on his tummy and he has rolled over to it since 2 weeks so we left him there however we do have an Angel care monitor so that has made me feel a lot better.  I usualy get bad looks from people when I tell I let him sleep on his tummy but I feel pretty confident about the monitor and his neck is really strong.

     

    Also regarding the milk sometime when you pump you would not get as much as you would feeding him.  1 and half ounces is about as much as I get from one side if I am lucky two.   As pp said before try warm compresses also try lanshinosh cream for nipples they help with mine when I went back to breastfeeding Logan.  Also if you are really concerned call your heath nurse they are a great resources.  

    Angela and David married June 18 2005 TTC#1 25 months 1500mg metformin 100mg clomid Finaly BFP October 12/07 Mommy to Logan June 15 2008 and Ryleigh Nov 11 2010 BabyFetus Ticker
  • I don't have alot to add that wasn't already said.  But I totally understand what you are going through and it gets so much better with time=)

    xoxo

  • I agree with all the pp's.  You will find something that works among these solutions.  No one is the worst mother in the world for letting their child sleep on their stomach either!  My DS slept in a infant chair for the first 3 months.
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