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i need advice.

Something has been bothering me with one of my friends.  I had a small dinner get together with my friends to celebrate my birthday.  I had sent out an email a few days in advance and everyone rsvp'd but her.  I let it go till the day of cuz i needed to tell the restaurant how many people were showing up.  I texted her asking if she is showing up or not.  I had no response at all that day or night.

now today i get this lame excuse via text that she totally forgot about it...and her phone was dead...and coincidentally she was in the same shopping center but saw the restaurant was crowded so she didn't bother and went to pinkberry instead and walked around...

well this kinda bothered me feelings are hurt cuz why didn't she just email me that she couldn't go.  or call me or my husband on her husbands cell since she was with him anyway (and our dhs are buds)...or even just walk through the restaurant and look for us since we were all there at the same time...

anyway am i being too sensitive...or should i tell her how i feel?


sorry this became a longer post than i had planned...

thanks...just writing this out kinda makes me feel better :) 

Re: i need advice.

  • Is this something normal for her?

    Some people are just generally careless, and that can come across as inconsiderate to others.

    However, if this was out of character for her, than maybe you could let her know that she hurt your feelings.

  • this was out of character for her...and i think that is why i was so thrown..

  • Given that it's out of character I would ask her if something was wrong and talk to her about it. That seems really rude. Esp on a big birthday. I'm so sorry. I have a good friend that's being distant right now too. It's hard to cope with what may become the loss of a friend. I hope you guys work it out.
  • i guess it just bothered me cuz it was such a lame excuse and she was already at the same shopping center at the same time...i don't get why she couldn't just stop by...

    i guess i am not the type to play games and if she is playing games...that sucks and is immature...grr..  

  • It is immature if she is playing games, however, maybe it is better to talk to her about it and try to help her understand why it bothers you so much. Otherwise, you can assume about her intentions all you want, but still will not find the truth.

    I am not trying to make exscuses for her, because I would be upset too in your position, but maybe she was going through something that day too, and was using a dumb exscuse to not be there, for whatever reason.

    I am sorry this happened to you, on such a happy day.

  • I don't think you're being oversensitive. I think it's really rude when people don't respond to an RSVP.  Even if she just didn't want to go, she should have said something.  I also think that the excuse was pretty lame-o.
  • You're not being overly sensitive. This is behavior you don't usually expect and it hurt. You can't just ignore that. I agree with Angelina that you should talk to her. Let her know how you feel and see if there is something else beyond the lame excuse for what happened.

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