Trouble in Paradise
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Holy shiit, I am going to hyperventalate.

I just recieived this email, and I don't know what to think. Wow.

 

Hello Ally,

I would greatly appreciate it if you could pass this letter on to your sister, Andee.

Thank you very much,

Cliff



Dear Andee,

This is, by far, the most important and difficult letter I have ever written in my simple life. It is with great care and affection that I convey this information to you.

Several years ago, when I was a young man, I joined the Navy. Pearl Harbor was my first command, and it was there that I fell in love with a young woman named Carey ******. In time, she became pregnant and gave birth to our child. I say this with the utmost certainty, I am your biological father. I can't be sure that you've ever heard of me and I know that the profound nature of such information should be departed in a more delicate and thoughtful manner, but I fear that this is the only way to ensure that you will actually receive it...for that, I am sorry.

I owe you many apologies, the most significant being, that I should have made you my life's greatest priority. Instead, I selfishly pined over your mother and considered my fate punishment for my indiscretions. I was simply unable to make an adversary out of the woman I so desperately loved. Alone, in the dwindling light of our affair, I began to see the painful flaw in my reasoning, but by then you had become inaccessible to me. The loss of you has eclipsed my entire existence. I feel it is not unlike the lose of a life, a life I am so constantly aware of. I speak of the life in which we would have shared, our life.

I've come to realize that so much of my life's pain has been self inflicted, and that there is no such thing as the complete absolution of my mistakes, but to repress the truth only serves to perpetuate those mistakes, and nothing more. I held you once, and have carried that moment with me ever since. There are those who would say that, that child no longer exists. These people would also readily attest to unconditional love within there own lives, yet insist on imposing conditions upon the love of others.

There is something else I must reveal to you, you have a brother. His name is Oliver and he is a beautiful one and a half years old. His birth has reasserted my belief in the indelible nature of our bond and I intend to tell him everything about you, how much I love you, so that he will most undoubtedly grow to love you as well. With the love and patience of an exceptional woman, I have at last, become a father and a husband. There resides within me a joy I had long forgotten, but even with all this, I am denied solace because I am nothing to you.

I cannot in all fairness, expect you to understand nor reciprocate my affection, but at least I'm certain you know of me now. The simple thought of you knowing I exist substantiates me some how and makes me feel more alive than you can imagine. I hope someday soon we can speak to each other. I dream of a day when you can meet my family and know your brother.

Andee, I have waited so long to know you and will continue to hold you in my heart and mind until I am no more.

With Love,

Re: Holy shiit, I am going to hyperventalate.

  • Um. WOW.

    How is it that he can get in contact with you, but not her? Does she have any idea about this?

  • He found me over myspace and she doesn't have a myspace account. And no, she doesn't know.

     

    My mom told me that her and this guy were friends in the Navy, but when she married my dad that she no longer saw him. But this guy had his friends follow her and talk to my dad.

  • Surprise Wow... um. I'm not sure what to say. 1-866-45-MAURY ?
  • What a boat load of literary schlock!

    It sounds like the opening to a romance novel where the heroine goes back to her small town to solve the mystery of her birth and falls in love with the annoying sardonic cop who pulls her over on her way in.

    I would email his trite ass back and tell him to send it to her his own damn self, that you will not be a part of his selfish attempt to validate his shittie mistakes and certaintly not a party to turning your sister's world upside down.

    Then I would call your mother and tell her about this and ask her to speak to your sister. If she refuses, you should do it. And even then tell her that a man who claims he's her father contacted you. You have no idea if what he says it true but you do not want her to be blindsided when he tries to selfishly contact her again.

    And I really, really hate the overly romanticized way he penned it and the overly dramatic way he sent it to you. What a peice of shiit.



    Click me, click me!
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  • If this isn't a joke, talk to your mom asafp.
  • image hindsight's_a_biotch:

    What a boat load of literary schlock!

    It sounds like the opening to a romance novel where the heroine goes back to her small town to solve the mystery of her birth and falls in love with the annoying sardonic cop who pulls her over on her way in.

    I would email his trite ass back and tell him to send it to her his own damn self, that you will not be a part of his selfish attempt to validate his shittie mistakes and certaintly not a party to turning your sister's world upside down.

    Then I would call your mother and tell her about this and ask her to speak to your sister. If she refuses, you should do it. And even then tell her that a man who claims he's her father contacted you. You have no idea if what he says it true but you do not want her to be blindsided when he tries to selfishly contact her again.

    And I really, really hate the overly romanticized way he penned it and the overly dramatic way he sent it to you. What a peice of shiit.

    Exactly this.  100%.

    I can't imagine that this is for real, mostly because of the $5 romance novel writing style.

    image
  • No, this isn't a joke. Any one who thinks that doing this would be funny is a piece of shiit.

    Yeah, I was at my moms place when I got the email. I'm about to talk to her now once my grandpa leaves. This is probably this shiitiest time for this to happen. My mom just got out of the hospital, and today is my sisters 16th birthday. What a day to send this fuucking email right?

     

    I have all his contact info and I am so tempted to call him and tell him to fuuck off.

  • Unfortunately, telling him to fuuck off would be making a big decision for your sister that she may or may not want.  Talk to your mom, and your sister obviously needs to know about this as well.  GL.. this could be interesting, at the very least. Let us know what happens.
  • imoanimoan member
    10000 Comments Eighth Anniversary

    Was your sister under the impression that your father was also  her father?  Or did she know that her father was someone different and that she had just never met him.

    And yeah, I'm vomiting at the writing too.

    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • image imoan:

    Was your sister under the impression that your father was also  her father?  Or did she know that her father was someone different and that she had just never met him.

    And yeah, I'm vomiting at the writing too.

     

    No, she always thought that my dad was hers. I never believed that my mom cheated on my dad, I'm not sure that I do now.

    I guess I dn't know what to think?

  • This sounds like a stalker.  It is such crap (as been previously stated) that I wonder if this guy was infatuated with your mom and had a fantasy that it was his baby.  He sounds like the type.

    Any man that thought he might really be her dad and really loved that daughter would never come crashing into her life this way.  He'd 1) wait till she was old enough, 2) be unselfish in his desire to know her, 3) probably never tell her anyway because he wouldn't want to disrupt her life, 4) never involve other family members. 

    Talk to your mom.  Don't acknowledge this man's correnspondence in any way.  People like this love attention--even negative attention.

  • Ditto everything Hindsight said. 

    Is there at all the chance that he has spent all this time thinking that your sister was his child when, in fact, he's not?

    Let us know how talking to your mom goes - good luck.

     

    image
    *made with love by ibis*
  • I'm so confused.

    This is your 16 year olds sister's bio father?  I'm assuming you are older than 16, so, your mother and father were married, had you, she allegedly had an affair, and she was born?  Is this the order of events...or, is there an older sister that we don't know about this is intended for?

  • image lolallynoelle:
    image imoan:

    Was your sister under the impression that your father was also  her father?  Or did she know that her father was someone different and that she had just never met him.

    And yeah, I'm vomiting at the writing too.

     

    No, she always thought that my dad was hers. I never believed that my mom cheated on my dad, I'm not sure that I do now.

    I guess I dn't know what to think?

    So, your mom and dad had you out of wedlock (no problem with this, just trying to get things straight), possibly had an affair and gave birth to the resulting child, and then got back together with and married your dad?  I don't mean any offense, I'm just trying to put all the pieces together.

    I think your mom needs to know that's he's trying to contact you.  I also think your sister needs to know.  What if there's a hereditary condition later in life that she needs to be aware of, say a higher risk of breast cancer or whatever?  

    Wow.  I just don't know what to say.  Let us know how things go when you tell your mom.  I'll keep you in my thoughts.

    [URL=http://alterna-tickers.com][IMG]http://alterna-tickers.com/tickers/generated_tickers/f/fr7ha85jz.png[/IMG][/URL]
  • image Hoodlum90:

    This sounds like a stalker.  It is such crap (as been previously stated) that I wonder if this guy was infatuated with your mom and had a fantasy that it was his baby.  He sounds like the type.

    Any man that thought he might really be her dad and really loved that daughter would never come crashing into her life this way.  He'd 1) wait till she was old enough, 2) be unselfish in his desire to know her, 3) probably never tell her anyway because he wouldn't want to disrupt her life, 4) never involve other family members. 

    Talk to your mom.  Don't acknowledge this man's correnspondence in any way.  People like this love attention--even negative attention.

    Ditto this.

    God, what a dramatic d!ck.  I'm sorry you got shoved into the middle of this

  • Wasn't this in a movie?
  • This sounds just like my XH's writing style.

    Not a good thing!

    I hope you can get the story from your mom... I'd trust her more than a stranger sending you guilt-ridden, flowery letters of apology to the wrong sibling.

    [IMG]http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv105/gaultry/brick1-1.jpg[/IMG]
  • I literally fell off my chair reading this. It sounds like he had an affair and is now regretting now ackowledging his child.

    I was hoping it was MUD. But on a side note, if he isn't a writer, he might want to look into.

  • Thanks to everyone with postive feedback, and good thoughts. I just spoke to my mom and here's what she told me:

     Both my parents were in the military when the met, got married, and had both my sister and me. My dad's parents moved in with us in Hawaii before my sister was born to help take care of me because my parents worked insane hours. My grandma hated my mom and tried HARD to split her and my dad up (my grandma is wonderful to me, but this isn't surprizing at all). My parents seperated and my mom moved out and into the barracks on the Navy base. Apperently this Cliff guy was her best and only friend since she moved to Hawaii with my dad. They slept together once while my parents were seperated, and this was enough to make him believe Andee was his. My parents got back together and a few weeks after that my mom found out she was pregnant. But her and my dad had been sleeping together also during the seperation. My mom found out that Andee was too young to be Cliff's. While my mom and Cliff thought Andee was 20 weeks old, she was younger than that, proving she was my dads, I  guess..

     

    Cliff has known where we've been all along. He played with me when I was a baby. He's known where we've lived and has had access to our phone number. Not until today, my sisters 16th birthday does he try to contact her. I'm callin' bullshiit.

     

  • I think you should give your mom his contact info so she can set him straight. What an asswipe.
  • OK, yeah, his writing style sucks.   He should have been straight to the point, not using terms like, "in the dwindling light of our affair." 

    With that being said.   I think there's a fair chance he's telling the truth.    In fact, I'm not sure there'd be a motivation for him to lie.   I mean, he could still be on the hook for child support for another couple of years if he is the father.    Also, I don't practice family law, but I would think that he could attempt to compel paternity tests if he really believes  he is her father, since she is still under 16 and would be eligible for a custody split. 

    Here's what I would do:

    1).  Talk to your mom.   Tell her that you know about Cliff, and that he has emailed you to get in touch with your sister to let her know that he is her father.    Gauge your mother's reaction.   I'd also remind her to be careful of lying, since I would think it'd be fairly easy to petition the court for a blood test if he wanted to press the issue.  

    2).  If your mom did cheat, I think your sister needs to know.    And it'd be better for her to know now than later.    My dad didn't find out he was adopted until his late 30s.   It was kind of a shock to find out that late in life.   

    3).  If this guy could be her father, I would have your mom tell her.   That's the ideal.   This guy could attempt to contact her in any number of ways.   Better she find out now than in a year or two when she does have a Facebook or Myspace, or he finds her personal email address, or finds out where she goes to college and just shows up, etc.  

    4).  I'd take the guy to court for child support.  So he's decided he wants to step up and be a dad.  Time to start stepping up.

    I do think it's important for your sister to know.   I think access to medical history is huge.   Even if she doesn't want a relationship, knowing that she needs to be screened early for breast cancer, or blood diseases, or any number of diseases with a genetic predisposition is very important. 

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