Hi all! This is my first time posting on the nest. Have a dilemma which seems to have gotten blown way out of proportion. Here's the story:
We currently live about 12 hours from my inlaws (4 sibs in law and their spouses/children and parents in law) and in the same town as my parents. We see my parents about once a month because of crazy work schedules and inlaws about once every 3-4 months. It's worked OK but not ideal. Well, fast forward a couple of months-we're relocating to a new city about halfway between both families. I'm starting a new job and will have 1-2 weekends per month off and work just about every weekday(and that's unfortunately not negotiable). DH has subsequently invited one brother, spouse and 2 kids for the first month (a long weekend) , his best friend to come up for a long weekend the second month, followed a week later by a trip to his hometown for a family wedding, followed by a visit from his parents several weeks later. My issues with this are several. First, and most importantly, no time for us together in this new place, if we're spending every weekend I have free being tour guides. Second, no time with my family. Today we talked, and what I was trying to say was I absolutely want his fam to visit, but we're going to be there for at least 3 years-we don't have to cram all visits into the first few months. He became extremely upset and said if that was how I felt he was going to tell his family never to visit, ever. Obviously this upset me-I do love his family but would like to spend some of my little free time with him exploring and coming to love our new city. I tried to make him see that it would bother him if I had people up all the time, and the kicker, he saw nothing wrong with this. I don't know if he just doesn't understand the value of couple time or if he truly is putting his family above me. So, my question, do I keep going with the issue and the next time it comes up put my foot down? Or do I grin and bear it and hope that the constant houseguests go away after the first few months and the novelty of our new town wears off? What would you do? I should probably add that we've lived here for 12 years and his family has only come down about 3 times during that time, so there is some chance this will go away on its own. But then again, our new location is much, much more of a tourist attraction.