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OK OK maybe I was a little harsh...

Long story short, my sister's boyfriend (25 years old by the way) lives in my parents basement.  He has for 4 years.  He works off and on, he can't keep a steady job to save his life.  He drives a $600 a month Cobalt (dumb***) and them can't afford to pay my parents the measly $100 a month rent that he is supposed to be giving them.  My sister goes to hair school (she is 21) and swears by the time she gets a job and saves enough money they will move out. 

 Well I stopped fighting this battle with my parents.  I used to get so mad about the fact that he was taking advantage of them, but I was getting more stressed then anyone so I just stopped fighting the battle.  Until now!  My parents were talking to my sister on Thursday about how it's time for him to find his own place, etc...etc... as they have many times.  He always manages to weasel his way back in.  Well during the conversation my mom stated feeling really ill and eventually suffered a major heart attack. (she was rushed to surgery and is in stable condition now) 

I know it wasn't his or my sisters fault.  But I am done and absolutly fed up!  So today I called my sister and told him that by the time my mom gets home he needs to be GONE!!!  My dad should have taken care of this but I am guessing he misplaced his balls somewhere and didn't do it.  I will not lose my mother over the stress of him living there.  She hates that he is there but doesn't want my sister to go so she just put up with him being there in the past! 

I guess it was a little harsh to tell him he needed to leave and probably not my place but I won't lose my mom over stupid ***.  Any advice you wanna give is much appreciated even if you wanna flame me.  I just needed to vent, it's been rough!

 

TIA
Natalie 

Re: OK OK maybe I was a little harsh...

  • I'm sorry to hear about your mom but I doubt the heart attack was due to the stress of the BF living there. ?And this is not your battle to fight. ?Your parents need to sit down and speak to the BF and your sister about the living situation. ?Again, you need to butt out of it.
  • image kmlluvnmh:
    I'm sorry to hear about your mom but I doubt the heart attack was due to the stress of the BF living there.  And this is not your battle to fight.  Your parents need to sit down and speak to the BF and your sister about the living situation.  Again, you need to butt out of it.

     

    I know, I need to butt out.  I will fully admit that.  I am just tired of hearing my mom *** about it, and I how she hates having him there and when I tell her she has the power to make him leave she just kind of looks at me a sighs like she knows she does.  She just doesn't wanna use that power.  The less stress in her life the better in order for her to make a full recovery and he is one of those MAJOR stresses.  We have discussed it before.  I know I shouldn't have but I get crazy mad over my mom and her health.

    And it pisses me off even more that they asked him to leave and my sister STILL doesn't have enough respect to get him the hell out of there.  I guess I am just going to the 'motions of what happened to her and I am angry.   

  • I understand. Maybe now that this has happened your mom AND dad will stand firm in there desire to get him out of there. It could mean that your sister goes with him though...so is that why they are hesitant?
  • GBCKGBCK member
    Ancient Membership Combo Breaker

    You realise that if your parents want to force him to move out, at this poibnt they have to go through the paperwork of a PROPER eviction.

    Failure to do so = more headache than you can imagine if he decides to be difficult.

  • image kmlluvnmh:
    I understand. Maybe now that this has happened your mom AND dad will stand firm in there desire to get him out of there. It could mean that your sister goes with him though...so is that why they are hesitant?

     

    That's exactly why they are hesitant, more my dad then my mom.  He is my stepfather and her biological father.  That is daddy's princess, so he doesn't want to upset her.

  • Well, I can see how this is NOYB. That said, FIVE YEARS? I think its fair that you say quit sponging off my parents, one of whom is now seriously ill,  and get the hell out. If he doesn't, well, there is not much you can do; but if he listens to you and gets out, well, it's all good in my book. What a jerk.

    No flames here.

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • i know you are upset that your mom has had a heart attack, but this is not s or bf's fault.

    your parents have made this mess and it is theirs to clean up. stay out of it. you know when they let him back in YOU are going to be the bad guy in all of this.

    if your d cant find his balls after this i guess it is a lost cause you you need to just sit back and watch.



  • im sorry to hear about ur mom and i hope she has a speedy recovery

    i completely undrstand why u did what u did, but mayb after both sides have calmed down, all of you should sit down and have a calm conversation about the situatin

     i hope everything with u and ur family gets better soon

    God Bless

  • I understand that you are upset and I'm sorry about your mother's health, but your parents are the ones who have been willingly bending over and spreading their asscheeks for your sister and her BF for five years. I'd say they get the majority of the blame here for allowing this to go on for so long, say about 90% of it.

    I won't even wonder WTF they were thinking five years ago when they let your 16-year-old sister's 21-year-old BF move into their basement in the first place.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • image zitiqueen:

    I won't even wonder WTF they were thinking five years ago when they let your 16-year-old sister's 21-year-old BF move into their basement in the first place.


    I can't quite get past this part either.? I hope your mom makes a full recovery.? It sounds like this may be the "wake up call" that everyone needs to make some much needed life changes.??
  • According to your post ..

    - This has been going on for years and years. And there is no end in site.

    - Your parents talked to your sister about the boyfriend living in the basement.

    - And then you talk to your sister about the boyfriend living in the basement.

    Why aren't any of the adults or homeowners talking directly to the guy in the basement?

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Good point Livin; wish I'd made it myself.
    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • Getting in on this trainwreck mas late...

    This is a mess.

    You cannot do anything about it.

    The BF is useless as t!ts on a bull.

     And they have been enabling him for years.

    Again, nothing you can do about it. No amount of advice you give her/him/them will ever be heeded.

    (ETA: I'd be damned if I permitted my 16 year old daughter's bf to move into my basement. This entire family sounds woefully dysfunctional)

  • image TarponMonoxide:

    (ETA: I'd be damned if I permitted my 16 year old daughter's statutory rapist bf to move into my basement. This entire family sounds woefully dysfunctional)

    Fixed that for you.

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • Good job ziti and tarpon!
    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • I agree with everything that has been said here.  You've been told that it is none of your business.  and that is right.

    Now what you could do is talk to your mom when she recovers.  Point out that she always caves when this comes up but that she has to think of her health too.  Then offer to support her during this "difficult" time.  

    You can help her think through things and be there to support her during the conversation with both of them.  Not just your sister, but the bf needs to be there too.

    I hope she makes a full recovery.

  • I hope your mom feels better soon!
  • Personally - had it been me, I'd have done the same thing.  I don't want ANYONE taking advantage of my parents - especially not some loser BF of my sister's.  And your mom had a heart attack?  I doubt it was completely due to the stress of him being there, though I don't doubt it didn't relate to it, somehow.

    No flames here, but you do need to talk to your stepdad and get him to kick him out.  It isn't any of your business, necessary, although I probably would have done the same thing.

    Hope your mom is okay!
     

  • Sometimes when you're in the situation afraid of losing someone it's hard. I can understand why your parents couldn't do it.

    I say good for you! What kind of loser lives w/his gf's parents for 5 years?!?!  Hopefully your sis will realize that even when she does finish school it's not her responsibility to support him either!

  • image shadowsong21:

    I say good for you! What kind of loser lives w/his gf's parents for 5 years?!?!  Hopefully your sis will realize that even when she does finish school it's not her responsibility to support him either!

    What kind of parents allow their 16-year-old daughter's 21-year-old BF to move into their basement? And why should this loser move out? He's got a totally free ride living in their basement, no bills, no responsibilities, plus a piece of ass whenever he wants it, courtesy of her parents! Why on earth would he give up a sweet deal like that?

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • image GBCK:

    You realise that if your parents want to force him to move out, at this poibnt they have to go through the paperwork of a PROPER eviction.

    Failure to do so = more headache than you can imagine if he decides to be difficult.

     If he decides to be difficult your parents will have a hell of a job getting him out of there without going through the eviction process which can take ages.

  • image GBCK:

    You realise that if your parents want to force him to move out, at this poibnt they have to go through the paperwork of a PROPER eviction.

    Failure to do so = more headache than you can imagine if he decides to be difficult.

     If he decides to be difficult your parents will have a hell of a job getting him out of there without going through the eviction process which can take ages.

  • nothing to add, except that i'm glad to hear your mom is doing ok...hoping her a speedy recovery!
  • 2bjam2bjam member

    I too, hope your Mom has a quick recovery!

    And no flames here... I would be p*ssed.

    This guy drives a Cobalt and can't give them $100 a month... that added to all the other B.S... he needs to move ON!

  • how does he pay for a cobalt if he cant hold a job?
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